Baby name regret?

[amy480]

Recently had a baby girl (we didn’t know the gender) and I struggled to decide on a name (I’m naturally quite indecisive). I had 2 names in mind but when she was born my husband said she wasn’t either of those names which made the doubt set in. I also asked the opinions of close family and got negative feedback on the name I liked (Imogen). In the end we have gone for a popular name (Ava) which I have always liked but wasn’t a front runner until she was here. I now keep dwelling on the name Imogen and wondered if I should have pushed more?! Anyone else had this. For what it’s worth I do think Ava is a very pretty name and suitable for all ages (didn’t want anything too cutesy) I’m just concerned it is too popular and Imogen a bit more unique. Name choices are so hard and such a responsibility!!

Luckily both names are fine 😂 I love Imogen (it's my daughter's middle name) and while Ava is pretty popular it's also a solid name. Sure she'll grow into it! You haven't saddled her with someone horrific so don't feel guilty.

They’re both beautiful names.

It’s not too late to change it! Personally I prefer Imogen - classy and pretty.

Ava is nice but, along with Eva, Evie etc a little dull from overuse imo.

I think it's quite common to feel like this because naming a baby feels like such a big thing, and normally you've got to compromise with your partner so don't get your first choice. For what it's worth I love the name Ava and prefer it to Imogen. Maybe worth another conversation with your partner and see if they're willing to change if you want to, but don't involve family in the decision!

Imogen is still a top 100 name (number 64) so not rare, but I've not met any Ava's nor Imogen's in any baby class and I've got a 2 year old.

Ava is very popular (Ava) and Imogen more of a classic name (Imogen).
Imogen will probably be called Immy. I'd change it, but that's me.

Something can't be more unique. It's either unique or not.

Congratulations on your baby.

Both are really lovely names and your daughter will be very happy with either, I’m sure. FWIW, Imogen is one of my favourite names (I was vetoed from using it!) but Ava is gorgeous too and I like that it isn’t shortened.

Both really nice names. I had a wobble about never being able to use the name we didn’t choose but it didn’t last long.

Ava is a lovely name

Both are lovely names. I wonder why you feel “popular” is a negative?

I think it suggests it is a nice name (lots of people agree!) that everyone will recognise for pronouncing/spelling and it can be a nice connection to other Avas.

I am also having doubts about my daughter’s name and I honestly think it’s part of the postpartum roller coaster!

FWIW I prefer Ava. But doubts over name choice is very common. For me once my baby was named I viewed it as his name (as in it belonged to him so it wasn't up to me to change it). That might sound daft but it put my mind to rest. Because it's not like you make a friend then spend days or weeks ruminating over their name and how much you like it, you just accept that that is their name. Not sure I'm making sense!

If it helps, while I will always love a Shakespearean name (like Innogen aka Imogen) as they tend to feel more timeless which is personally important to me; imo of the currently fashionable/trendy names for girls, Ava is one of the loveliest. Ava is also cool (a palindrome!), simple to spell and say and popular so that she’ll find it easy to get stuff with her name on (which kids always love). It will also be unlikely to get shortened, whereas Imogen is often Immy (or Ginny at a push), which might be a consideration for you or not?

And while choosing a child’s name is important, unfortunately there is really no such thing as a perfect name! Imo both your choices have their pluses and minuses like all names, but you won’t be doing your daughter a disservice by using either Imogen or Ava so try not to stress on that front (easy to say I know).

ETA: Btw so many of us stress whether the name we have chosen is right - I went with my first choice (which I’d called DS all pregnancy and which ticked all my personal boxes - popular but timeless, international, easy to spell and say, plenty of nickname choice) but even so, I still had wobbles afterwards! The trouble is I know if I’d called him my second choice, I’d have been questioning whether that was right on him too 🙄🤣

Both are lovely names OP. Does she have a middle name already? If I'd been able to have children to term, one name choice was going to be Imogen. I have no idea how popular either name is, but don't know any babies/children with either name. I do prefer Imogen though as being a little different and for some reason, have just always loved it.

Were you more put off by negative comments from family, or your husband going off the name? Ava is lovely, but I do have a soft spot for Imogen. If you really think you rushed the decision and got it wrong I would start the conversation about potentially changing it and see where it leads you. Maybe your husband is right and she's Ava not Imogen. But it's not the end of the world to change your mind.

If you love Imogen and are certain then I would change it.

telling family and friends before it’s the chosen baby name after arrival is always a mistake as they say things to put you off. That’s why you hold it close to your chest

It can't be more unique. It's either unique or not. I think you mean unusual, rather than unique

Imogen is beautiful

They are both really nice names but I think I prefer Imogen.

I would say change it if you’re not happy.
I called my second a really popular name. I didn’t know it was popular until about 4 weeks in. I was absolutely gutted but couldn’t quite let her name go as I was all emotional etc.

In hindsight, I wish I would’ve just changed her name. She’s 5 now and obviously nothing I can do about it, but if I could turn back the clock I would definitely change her name to something I was happier with.

Both lovely names but I love Ava. Be kind to yourself and if you stick with her name trust that you made the right decision. I really empathise with you and felt the same. I worried for a long time, I wish I had just been kinder to myself and enjoyed my baby more, instead I felt bad and worried I had given him the wrong name. I stuck with the name, now I love it, and most importantly he loves it. I wish I had reminded myself of all the positive reasons why I had chosen the name in the first place. I’m a teacher and I haven’t taught any Ava’s for few years, so I feel like it isn’t commonly used now, or at least not where I live. Congratulations on your baby, I wish you peace in whichever decision you make xx

I can really empathise. I agonised over my 6 month olds name during pregnancy and then when she was born. Have been going back and forth for the last 6 months too. I really wanted a unique name for her, but couldn’t get over my love for Sophia. It is even more popular than Ava (which is very beautiful, my eldest was nearly an Ava). I looked at every forum and Instagram post and so many people dislike it because it is ‘basic’ or ‘too saturated’ but I just couldn’t help feeling it was her name. I think the time we live in now - being able to get opinions at our finger tips and social media name announcements etc really makes choosing a name so much more complicated and mind bending than it used to be. Theres this huge pressure to choose something unique, at least in my experience.

For what it’s worth I have 3 girls ranging from 5 years to 6 months and have never met an Ava at any group or soft play etc. My husband is a teacher and has only had around 5 Sophia’s in the last 10 years at his school, so what may appear popular on the official top 20 doesn’t mean you’re going to hear the name everywhere. I guess it can be location specific.

I think the best thing for you is to turn inward, away from family, friend and internet opinion and really look at her and see which name you think suits her best and what you can imagine calling her as a toddler, teenager and adult. Try and envision it in the future and see which one sparks joy in your heart. She’s still so young so if you think Imogen suits her more then there’s plenty of time to change it on her birth certificate x

I too regret not naming the name we were a little undecided about. We used it as our daughters middle name, but what grates most (yes still, and shes in her late 20s now, but still) was SIL saying "Ruby?? You cant call her Ruby, its so bloody old fashioned, everyone will take the mick" Then when she had a daughter 2 years later she called her daughter Florence!! 😡

Ava is ok and quite popular.

I think Imogen is nicer but it means "the last" so it's more suitable for a last baby/daughter than a first. I've assumed she's your first, sorry if I'm wrong.

Hopefully you'll love her name as it becomes part of her. My daughter has a name which I love but wobbled over as my actual favourite names had either got super-popular (Isabella) or my husband wasn't keen (Lucinda). But I can't imagine her having any other name now!

@honeylulu , Imogen doesn't mean 'the last'. Imogen (given name) - Wikipedia

Don’t stress OP! Start calling her Imogen if that’s the name you prefer.

I knew someone who had an actual name, her parents’ pet name and her school name, all different. Comedian Vic Reeves was born James, is known as Jim and is also called Rod within the family.

Some people have multiple nicknames for different groups of friends.

How about having Ava (lovely name) as her official name but she can be known as Imogen?

The mistake you made was in asking for other people’s opinions!
If a person who has pushed a baby out can’t choose its name who can?

I think Ava is nicer than Imogen if that helps (though I do like the nickname Imy... Imo on the other hand isn't great to my ears).