Baby name anxiety - Jack or Finn

[SJC88]

My sweet little boy (2nd child) is almost 5 months old. We didn't know the gender and looking back, didn't discuss baby names enough. We had a shortlist, but once he was born we quite quickly individually vetoed each other's choices. The only name left was Finn (my partners first choice) but I had a funny relationship with (on one hand loved it as it seemed to suit him perfectly, but was apprehensive about using an Irish name).

We however settled in Finn at 2 weeks old, but before telling everyone his name I had a real wobble and decided I couldn't call him that. Eventually we came up with a compromise name (Jack), and registered the birth at 6 weeks as Jack.

However it never sat easily and we constantly discussed changing it (to Finn or something else). I have since realised that I've perhaps not been in a great headspace. There is nothing objectively wrong with Jack, but I can't shake that it was such a last ditch selection.

I feel sadness looking back that we never got to positively announce his name as it was a real source of anguish for me. I feel I failed in the one simple thing a parent should do when they bring a child into the world! I loved my daughters name, and sad and embarassed I couldn't have the same experience for my son.

As an additional complication, I told my extended family at 3 months old we were changing it to Finn but never followed through.... so now people know him by two names!! Yikes, what a self created conundrum.

Should we change his name? If so, whats the best way to announce it? Middle name is Alexander.

I adore Finn

Personally I prefer Finn, but Jack is also a solid name.

I'd add both in so you can tell him this story when he's older.

Jack Finn Alexander.

Day to day call him whichever suits him best.

Jack is a lovely name, too many Finn’s & Jude’s.

Both are nice, but I think you know he's really Finn. Get the birth certificate changed and stick to Finn.

If your surname starts with T...

Finn's good. I think it's fine that it's Irish. There are LOADS of kids now with names from different places and it isn't uncommon to hear names from all parts of the UK and beyond every day. I think Finn is more interesting than Jack TBH.

PS, I've never taught a Finn whereas I have taught about 5000 Jacks so maybe it depend where you are about how popular each is.

Both are lovely names OP. Feeling you needed to 'announce' his name is unnecessary and I don't understand why that would be such a source of anguish - it just sounds really performative.

I think you need to just pick a name and stick with it, you're making this into a huge drama completely unnecessarily IMO, both names are really lovely and Alexander is a fab middle name with either of them.

If this is a huge dilemma for you then I would say that dd's name was your choice (as you love it so much) and have ds's name as DH's first choice and change it to Finn.

Both are such lovely names. If you feel more strongly about Finn then change it, especially as some people call him Finn already!

Much prefer Jack. It’s a solid name

I personally find both names overused and dull.

Jack and Finn are both nice, so it's really just comes down to you settling on the right one. Try Finn out for a while and see how it feels.

Don't give a thought to making the announcement, you'll just send a group text/email and be done with it. People will soon catch on.

I love this idea! It’s part of his story, and you can still have another announcement and have some fun with it -

‘As some of you already know, we haven’t been able to decide on whether our boy is Jack or Finn, so we’d love to reintroduce you to…

Jack Finn Alexander or Finn Jack Alexander.

P.s. Jack and Finn both fabulous names!

I prefer Jack and I it's not as though you loved Finn without reservations either.

Jack Alexander is lovely. Could you nn JA? I knew a few JAs growing up and always thought they were the best initials to do it with!

Yup all three works

I would change the name to Finn Alexander.
Jack Finn Alexander or Finn Jack Alexander. suggests indecision.

My boy is Jack so I love it 🥰

So difficult to vote!
Both Jack and Finn are great names.
Both names are good choices.

• Can Alexander be his first name instead? Perhaps with the nicknames Alex or Xander.
• Can he have all three names? Jack Finn Alexander, or Finn Jack Alexander? (mentioned by a previous poster, too).
• Can you get back to the drawing board completely? Make a list of ten name each, look at each other's list, etc.?

Stick with jack
He's responding to his name now.
Jack is lovely

I voted to stick with Jack of the two because to me Jack is a classic, whereas Finn is much more fashionable. You don’t tend to meet many older Finn’s whereas you can get Jack’s of all ages and backgrounds (admittedly the older ones are probably John on the BC), which is personally what I look for in a name. I like a name where you can’t guess age, background or even nationality if possible; but everyone is different and there is nothing at all wrong with Finn - it’s a nice enough sounding name.

To me it does sound like you are really drawn to Finn and there may be good reason for that. Does it fit more with your daughter’s name in terms of being more contemporary/less popular in style? What name does your son instinctively get called most by you/partner/daughter? At 5 months I wouldn’t leave it much longer to change if you are going to, simply because he’ll likely start showing some recognition of his name in another month or two.

I feel I failed in the one simple thing a parent should do when they bring a child into the world!

You think a name announcement is this? No. Keeping your child safe and loved are the most important things.

Thanks All. Good to get some fresh perspectives and ideas. I'll talk with my partner and decide what to do.

Finn isn't overly irish really, so i don't understand what that's even an issue. Its sheer popularity is what would put me off. Id much prefer Jack because you dont hear it much these days

I think you need to take a step back and really think about what name you'd like him to be called. It sounds like you're still not even sure.
You can't make this decision unless you're totally sure as you can't go back again and you need to be confident.
Both names are popular and are nice names.

We had wobbles over our 2nd child's name and it totally consumed the first year. I wish I hadn't spent so much time thinking about it. I never plucked up the courage to change it and he's now 5. I love his name now and I don't even think about it.