Mary or Elizabeth - dull or bound to be nicknamed?

[peonyraspberry]

Stuck between Mary and Elizabeth, I’ve been told by a friend Mary is dull and Elizabeth is bound to be Lizzie/Libby/Eliza etc.

I don’t like many of the nicknames both conventional and unconventional for Elizabeth, I don’t mind Elspeth, Birdie, Lily and Lizzie but the rest I’m not fond of at all.

I do like Mary but I’m wondering if it’s a bit on the nose coming from a Catholic family in Ireland and potentially being seen as dull.

Middle for Mary would be Elizabeth and vice versa.

I know one of each who are very much called by their full name only.

I prefer Mary - so simple and classic and absolutely ageless.

Both very beautiful and classic names. Certainly not dull! As for nickn̈ames, there's not much you can do about them, though I've known a couple of Elizabeths who only went by that. And Lizzie is fine too, very Pride and Prejudice.

I love the name Elizabeth. Classic and dignified.

once she starts school, it will be up to her to decide whether she wants to be known by a nickname or not; it's not something you can predict or dictate.

even a Mary could become Maz or Moll or Poll or some other nickname.

I agree with your friend. But tbh any name you pick you’ll find someone who isn’t the biggest fan, so just go with what you like!

One of the very best names for potential diminutives is

Margaret

which to my mind is a worthy equivalent to Mary or Elizabeth. Is there no way you could choose that, and keep one of your original options as a middle name?

Not an Elizabeth but I have one with four syllables and I assumed it’d be shortened ( I like the nicknames) she is only called fill name by choice and corrects those who shorten. I think it’s child lex past a certain age.

Both classic and elegant.

Mary I can't say is especially pretty; there's an austerity about it, but not dull.

It's a good name that has been underused in recent years.

Elizabeth is a classic, and I love it. I think if you really don't like it shortened, maybe Mary is better. I know an Elizabeth (and a couple of Maximilians) who were never allowed to have their name shortened and, as they are both quite polysyllabic it sounded quite cumbersome in some situations - and, dare I say it, a bit insufferable when the parents pulled people up on it if they accidentally slipped out Max or Lizzie.

But there are so, so many nns for Elizabeth. Are you sure you have thought of them all? Beth? Betsy (very sweet)? Even Zaza?

I think Mary sounds refreshing for a little one - it’s got a simple, classic charm.

Elizabeth is the ultimate timeless classic, but I personally wouldn’t choose any name where you don’t like some of the most common nn options - it’s something that’s very hard to control as they get older.

Thanks everyone, I like Betsy/Betty now that I’m thinking about it, and potentially Elsie for Elizabeth. I do believe I am slowly being turned around in regard to my earlier comment about not liking the potential nicknames!

My beloved grandmother was an Elizabeth and her mother was Mary. I considered both for my DD but my cousin's partner was pregnant with a girl at the same time and they were also considering both names! We had a great conversation about it and they took Elizabeth with my blessing. Their DD13 is now mainly known as Lizzie and Betty. If my DD had been an Elizabeth I think I'd have gone with Bess as a nn.

I didn't go with Mary in the end, though the runner up name for my DD was May, and that's a good nickname for Mary I think. Queen Mary (consort of George V) was known as May in her family.

In summary - both beautiful names with lovely shortenings!

Love Mary

I love, love , love Elizabeth would have used it for Dd but have an aunt and a cousin with that name so it felt a bit over used in my family.

Mary is fine.
Also think about
Margaret as PP ( could be Meg or Molly)
Catherine ( classic, could be Kate, Katie, Cath, Cathy, Cat )

I like both. I don't think Mary would be shortened, but Elizabeth almost certainly will.

Elizabeth - I like Lizzie, Lisa, Betsy, Bet, Bess, Bessie, Elsa, Elspeth.
Not keen on Eliza, Beth, Libby. I don't like Elsie.

You didn't ask, but I really like Mary as a middle name, and my favourite version of Mary is Polly. Molly/Moll is nice too.

Molly is not a diminutive of Margaret.

Both are lovely names.

Please remember though it’s not about which nicknames you like, it will be which nicknames your child likes and you won’t be able to control that.

Parents don’t control nicknames, friends do.

You might not like Libby but if your daughter grows up to love it, then that’s what she’ll call herself.

If you don’t love all the potential nicknames for your chosen name - don’t choose it.

I like both! But pick a name that you like as a short version and use that. I.e, just name baby Betsy or Betty. That's the only way to avoid short versions you don't like. Don't really get giving long names that are never used.

Neither name excites me but that’s fine.

I think May is sweet for Mary. I think Mary is the more underused choice.

I think Mary is a little dull, but love Elizabeth and I think the range of shortened versions is a definite plus. You can decide what to call her but when she’s older she can change that to something else if she prefers. Betsy, Lizzie, Beth and Elsie all have very different feels.

My daughters have long names with different options. No one has ever called either of them anything but their long name or the shortened versions that we use.

Mine is Maryjane but I get called Mary my sister was Elizabeth but we called her Lizzie ❤️

Both lovely names and timeless. Moll/ Molly used to be a nickname for Mary.

Both names are classic. Elizabeth has a lot of lovely nn. But a word of caution you may find that a nn develops over time and it may not be your preferred one. My dd is Imogen we gave her Imi as a nn, once she started school she didn’t like it so went by Imogen in ks1. By the end of Ks2 she was Imz or Idgy to her friends and now as an adult it’s Midge.

I like Mary. It's not dull at all, it's just very traditional and not uncommon, though I can't remember the last time I met a child called Mary. It's a lovely name (as is Rosemary).

I like both names but I think you'd be happier with Mary, if you dislike so many of the common diminutives of Elizabeth. Doesn't sound like you really like Elizabeth that much. Are you sure that Lily and Birdie (?) are used as short forms of Elizabeth? Never heard that before.

Mary is so classic. Yes it was really common once but that was several decades ago, it would be a refreshing choice nowadays.

I don't agree that friends control nicknames. My friends attempted to call me by a shortened form of my name and I refused to answer to it. My daughter did exactly the same (different name). My son, meanwhile, made a unilateral decision after he started school that he would be known by a shorter form of his name, and everyone started to use it at his request. It's the individual whose name it is who should decide what people call them.

Mary and Elizabeth are both great names. You can't go wrong with the classics!

Perhaps “suggest” or “inspire” would have been better wording.

Quite often there are MN posts about people wanting to call their child “Thomas” when they hate “Tom”.

Or parents who get upset that their DC’s friends are calling Amanda “Mandy” when they prefer the full name.

My point is that the child will own the name and may choose or use nicknames the parents dislikes.

You are setting yourself up for irritation by using a name which has a very common nickname you really dislike.

Lovely names. We have a young Mary in my family and that’s all she gets called.