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Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Mary or Elizabeth - dull or bound to be nicknamed?

71 replies

peonyraspberry · 05/11/2025 16:41

Stuck between Mary and Elizabeth, I’ve been told by a friend Mary is dull and Elizabeth is bound to be Lizzie/Libby/Eliza etc.

I don’t like many of the nicknames both conventional and unconventional for Elizabeth, I don’t mind Elspeth, Birdie, Lily and Lizzie but the rest I’m not fond of at all.

I do like Mary but I’m wondering if it’s a bit on the nose coming from a Catholic family in Ireland and potentially being seen as dull.

Middle for Mary would be Elizabeth and vice versa.

OP posts:
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FrogFairy · 06/11/2025 15:06

I have known several Elizabeths and they have all been know as Liz.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 06/11/2025 15:15

BlueIndigoScarlet · 06/11/2025 15:05

Perhaps “suggest” or “inspire” would have been better wording.

Quite often there are MN posts about people wanting to call their child “Thomas” when they hate “Tom”.

Or parents who get upset that their DC’s friends are calling Amanda “Mandy” when they prefer the full name.

My point is that the child will own the name and may choose or use nicknames the parents dislikes.

You are setting yourself up for irritation by using a name which has a very common nickname you really dislike.

Completely agree about that!

Notagain75 · 06/11/2025 15:19

I like Mary and there are very few young Mary's around

SabbatWheel · 06/11/2025 15:21

Mary is ready for a comeback. I taught for 36 years and only ever taught one Mary in all that time.

Words · 06/11/2025 15:32

I love my name and have always insisted on the full four syllables. This has never been an issue. It's a beautiful name with no need to shorten it to one of its many diminutives.

EmotionallyWeird · 06/11/2025 16:57

My mum was an Elizabeth Mary and I think I slightly prefer it that way round, but for a reason you might not agree with. Elizabeth has so many great shortenings while Mary has very few! But I think they are both attractive names in themselves.

While she is very young, an Elizabeth will be called whatever you tell people she is called, even if that's Elizabeth in full. When she's older, she may wish to be called by a short form, and it might not necessarily be one of the ones you like best. Only you can decide whether that's a deal breaker for you, but I would strongly advise against actively forbidding the use of any version, unless you want her to resent your interference. He name, her choice.

I can't see the connection between Birdie and Elizabeth - to me that's a nickname (which could be used with any real name) rather than a short form.

cityanalyst678 · 06/11/2025 17:29

Beautiful names.
And when you start school, no matter what your name, friends often call you something else!

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 07/11/2025 07:15

Mary is very underused so I'd go for that - it's a classic. It doesn't matter if your friend thinks it's dull, it's not her baby and she is just one person.

Elizabeth is much more popular, and while I know a few who are just Elizabeth the chances are pretty high she'll opt for some shortform or another. It's possible Mary will end up Molly or Maisie or May, but it's a lot less likely.

user1492757084 · 09/11/2025 12:34

Mary is a gorgeous name and under used.

Mary Eliza
Mary Elizabeth

nellietheellie75 · 09/11/2025 19:49

Elizabeth is lovely. I almost had it as a middle name except my grandmother went one about how it honoured her sister who's middle name was Elizabeth, so my mum in her dislike of said Aunt chose bloody Louise instead 😩spot the 80's baby!

Firebird83 · 09/11/2025 21:55

Mine goes by Betsy. It suits her and she has lots of other options for when she’s older.

Peternell · 10/11/2025 02:07

They are both lovely names. Mary sounds fresh to me as it is so rarely used for little ones. Mary is also less likely to be given a nickname, but if you want one Mair, Maisie, Polly and Molly are all good.

SparkyBlue · 10/11/2025 07:10

Both beautiful classic names. I wouldn’t consider them dull at all. I’d personally go with Mary it was on my girls list but DH vetoed it. Mary Kate was actually another name I loved.

EmpressaurusKitty · 10/11/2025 07:22

Peonies12 · 06/11/2025 10:39

I like both! But pick a name that you like as a short version and use that. I.e, just name baby Betsy or Betty. That's the only way to avoid short versions you don't like. Don't really get giving long names that are never used.

I’ve got a long name & had a good time when I was younger trying out a range of diminutives (one for school, one at university, one for a specific group of friends) before going back to using the whole thing as an adult. My parents didn’t like me shortening it but it was my name, after all.

I always stayed well away from any version that might be described as ‘sweet’ or ‘cute’. I looked young for my age as it was & didn’t need that on top of it.

NikkiPotnick · 10/11/2025 09:47

peonyraspberry · 05/11/2025 21:32

Thanks everyone, I like Betsy/Betty now that I’m thinking about it, and potentially Elsie for Elizabeth. I do believe I am slowly being turned around in regard to my earlier comment about not liking the potential nicknames!

You could also try and get ahead of the crowd by picking one and using it yourself. Elizabeth known as Betsy for short is probably more likely to remain Betsy than she is to become Lizzie.

Although I'd only use a name like Elizabeth if I were ok with all the commonest shortened versions, because there's still always got to be a fair chance she's going to become Beth.

eb949013 · 10/11/2025 10:39

You can't go wrong with classic, sensible names - both lovely choices

NormaSears · 10/11/2025 11:31

NikkiPotnick · 10/11/2025 09:47

You could also try and get ahead of the crowd by picking one and using it yourself. Elizabeth known as Betsy for short is probably more likely to remain Betsy than she is to become Lizzie.

Although I'd only use a name like Elizabeth if I were ok with all the commonest shortened versions, because there's still always got to be a fair chance she's going to become Beth.

I don't think the name needs to excite you. Ideally you want something that you are happy with that you won't regret choosing.

I agree with @NikkiPotnick ,get ahead of the applying diminutives by picking one. This is what happened when Chas & Di had their PFB, it was announced that he was to be 'Wills'.
The downside with using a diminutive is that it can stick.

Forgot to clear the quoteBlush

HonoriaBulstrode · 10/11/2025 17:22

This is what happened when Chas & Di had their PFB, it was announced that he was to be 'Wills'.

I don't recall that. I do remember them saying that Prince Henry was to be known as Harry.

And they used to call each other Willy and Harold. So even among close family you can't control what shortenings or nicknames are used.

mamagogo1 · 10/11/2025 17:26

With nicknames you can either choose one as a family then most likely they will stick to that or just use the full name but realise that your child may adopt one themselves. I have a long name and it is rarely shortened, only my dh really because I used a shortening on the dating website!

NormaSears · 10/11/2025 17:32

@HonoriaBulstrode It was over 43 yrs ago and I think that Chas said it fairly informally in an interview, whereas with Harry, he was announced as 'Henry ..., to be known as Harry'.

I think it was to avoid tabloid nicknames like Willy, Billy, Bill etc.
i can't remember if Charlotte's parents did the same, but she tends to be 'Lottie' in headlines.

Rdianas · 10/11/2025 21:06

Mary!! So not used. Wish I had a girl :) :) Mary on list x

ChocolateCinderToffee · 11/11/2025 06:26

I used to know an Elizabeth who was called Liz at school but changed it to Libby when she left school. I think Libby is a great diminutive.

Sevenh · 11/11/2025 06:50

I LOVE the name Elizabeth. We have one in the family whose name is never shortened. Every time I hear her called Elizabeth by her teacher or friends I think what a beautiful name it is. I think Elizabeth is timeless whereas Mary is a little old fashioned. Old fashioned can be great of course but going forward, I’m just not sure about Mary. It seems a bit 60s to me. But hey, reading the other comments Mary is a popular choice so …..it’s a tough one!

NormaSears · 11/11/2025 09:42

I’m just not sure about Mary. It seems a bit 60s to me.
It was starting to fall in popularity in the 1960s, Marie was getting popular.
I only know one Mary who'd have been born in the 60s.

midlifeattheoasis · 11/11/2025 09:45

Both very dull