Gutted local baby group owner and used my baby’s name

[Babyname101]

I know this is irrational. I don’t own a name. Just seen a local baby group (which I took mine to) announced their new arrival and they have my baby’s name. A name I’ve not made up, spelt properly but never met one of and isn’t particularly popular and hasn’t ever been. I think maybe around top 250 and not higher. Midwives saying how nice and never had one before, and the women who registered the birth! I’m really gutted, can’t help but irrationally think if I’d not gone maybe their child would be called something different. Hope the child is at a different school as they’ll just be in the same school year. I hated that I was one of loads of “my name” at school.

tried to edit as obviously the title is illegible

also I guess I am worried with the popularity of the classes will there be a local spike in this names popularity

My two DD were born18 months apart and were in consecutive school years. They both had girls with the same name, in their class, all the way through nursery and school. Neither had a classmate with her sister's name.

But why on earth would it annoy you? Presumably people give their children a name they really like, what on earth does it matter if another child has the same name? It's just weird to think that a name can't be copied by someone else.

Need to know name OP!

This is definitely the tiredness and hormones getting to you. Honestly your child will not care one jot in the unlikely event that this other child ends up
in his class or social circle. I work with teenagers and it’s highly likely one or both of them will end up with a nickname but even if not kids have many ways of owning their identities. Enjoy this precious time with your baby and try to focus on the positive idea that if this is your greatest worry and parenting challenge then you are truly blessed Xxxx

The thing is you didn't give them that name in a vacuum. It's probably becoming more popular or you are just more atune to it. DD has a name not in the top hundred but since naming her I've met a few other babies with it.

All my friends are called James or Emma (80s babies) and that is annoying as they were one of about 5 wherever they went! I'm sure your child won't be like this!

Where dod you get the name from, @Babyname101 ?

Yes you're right, you don't own the name. For all you know, when they met your child they were probably thinking damn that's what we're going for and now it's ruined as there's another little one locally. Then they thought rationally and realised it didn't matter, so used it anyway.

Most people on here advise against statistically popular names, but this is one of my arguments for them! To avoid the bitter disappointment when you realise your child name isn't as 'unique' as you thought it was, as you're kind of expecting to come across others if you use a more popular name (and it's a pleasant surprise if you don't).

Names aren't duplicated at school anywhere near as much as they use to be, but when they are they can be quite random and the parents are usually as gutted as you when they realise.

You can’t predict name usage. The name we gave DS was not in the top 50, but there were 4 others at his nursery of 80 children. Fast forward 8 years and he’s the only one with that name in his school if more than 400.

I completely understand we are Browns. I spent weeks and weeks choosing a name for my DD was not even in the top 1000 names….. peaked at number 30, 3 years after I named her.

Baby groups don't stay in your life for long. You probably won't stay in touch with everyone there anyway.

It's healthy that your child will know another human who shares their name.
Most of us do and it does us no harm except allows us to feel connected.
Look up The Shirley club.

@Babyname101 every cloud has a silver lining 😂

I have a very very unusual name @Babyname101, I've met one other in my 65 years. It is frequently remarked upon. I spent my entire childhood wishing my mother had called me Susan.

For dd we chose a classic but not frequently used name. From the minute she was born it popped up everywhere. It's a big favourite on here. When she started reception 20+ years ago, of twelve girls, six shared two names and one was quite uncommon at the time!

DD wasn't keen when younger but as she has grown up, comes across fewer others with her name and really likes it now. My organisation employs about 700 women and there are three with dd's name and they are of various ages.

What I'm trying to say is that the grass is always greener, people grow into their names and all will be well. Take it as a compliment to your taste.

Both our children's names peaked in popularity about 5/10 years later. It couldn't have been predicted.

I gave my DD a name I'd never heard before.

After she was born, her name was everywhere. I was in a pead office for my other child and she said she'd had 3 children with her name that week, never heard it before that. Annoyingly there's a slight variation on her name that very popular. So DD gets called that, despite her name being spelt as it sounds!!

DS has an 'old' name, wayyyyyy down the list. There was another in his school class, and they're also everywhere.we go!

I think we just don't hear it until the name is familiar to us.

I'd rather the common name that mine. It's not common but most people know it. Unfortunately I get called about 10 different variations, regardless of how many times I correct them.

35 years ago I chose a very unusual and out of date name for DS1. People looked puzzled when I told them and politely asked if it was a family name. Over the next 10 years it became the number one name for boys. It has always surprised but never bothered me. I did better with DS2 his name is always around 100 and there was only one other boy with that name in his primary school.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

It would annoy anyone let alone a recently pp hormonal mother. Ignore those calling you mad (even if you are going a bit mad) you have every right to feel how you do xx

My dcs name is a derivative, it's their given name and what they were christened. I hadn't met or known of any other children with the same first name locally (village life, one school), but without thinking too hard I can now think of 4 younger children with the same name. It's a lovely name and 2 parents have told me that they picked it after hearing DCs. It's obviously good taste.

I choose a name purposely way out of the top 100. 30 years later it’s number 7.

Maybe your name isn’t as rare as you think and is up and coming.

what is it?

My parents chose my name as it was unusual at the time. Trouble was every other 3rd set of parents thought the same for about 3 years and there was a big spike in popularity. In primary there were 3 of us with the same name in my class and at secondary there were 4. Since then - it's very rare for me to come across another with my name.

We called our DD a name that simply was not on anyone's list. And she ended up in secondary with 3 in her year. Their parents obviously though the same! It cause any problems - no

You can't control what other parents call their children. You know this. It's the hormones and sleep deprivation getting to you. Please don't worry

What’s the bloody name? 🤣

I'm assuming you heard it elsewhere initially, so what's the difference??

If I liked it that much I’d still use it

Here are the facts:

1. It doesn’t matter
2. Top 200-300 names aren’t unique, they are just less commonly used. Having a name in the top 250 names out of every name in the world isn’t unique and you don’t own it
3. You don’t actually know if this woman stole your babies name - she might of liked it before you did! Just a coincidence
4. Even if she did get inspired by your name, take it as a compliment
5. Every child is their own individual, having the same name doesn’t mean they are the same person

People are way too het up about their baby being the ONLY human they know to have that name these days, maybe it’s just me but I don’t know why the stress

There’s another thread listing uncommon nanes which are becoming common. For example, Bear, Wolf, Tiger and Ian. Maybe it’s a similar situation.