Should I call my daughter Aoibhín in England?

[lovebeingmuma]

Will my daughter hate me for calling her a name no one can pronounce?

So? My DD gets around it by putting the phonetic spelling alongside it where necessary. Never causes her any issues whatsoever. Usually once people hear the correct pronunciation they don’t get it wrong again.

Absolutely go for it people learn with Polish, Japanese and Russian names survive so why would Irish names be any different

On the opposite side of things, I've got the MOST bog standard name from the 80s. There were always about three of us in a class. Now, there's three of us in a friendship group. I would have preferred not to have such a popular name.

Because people use names from their cultures. I would no more call my child Eve, Elizabeth or Emma than you would call your child Afua, Hafsat or Nkiru.

And before you trot out that tired old Little Englander stuff about using names from wherever you’re living — people move around. My child no longer lives in the country he was born. I spent thirty years away from my home country. I’m certainly not going to choose a name based on whether English people who can’t or won’t get their heads around other orthographies think it’s ok.

The fact that multiple Irish posters on this thread think the OP is pronouncing it wrong would put me off the name completely - not only would you have to explain it to every English person, not even all Irish people would say it the same way she wants to.

I also actually just don't even think it's a nice name, I don't like the ween sound, it has whiny connotations in my head.

There are lots of much nicer Irish girls names.

I’ve a name that people can’t say but they can have a stab at it. It doesn’t bother me at all. I’d really struggle with your proposed name though as I wouldn’t have a clue how to say it and I’d struggle to learn to spell it.
people will get used to it quickly, (or just avoid using it)

I'd have assumed a pronunciation of Eeveen, based on my limited understanding of Irish spellings. But if someone corrected me once, I would learn to pronounce it as requested. It isn't a big deal to respect other people's names.

I do think it would be a bit too similar to your other daughter's name for my liking, but each to their own. You should use whatever name you really like.

What an utterly ridiculous comment.

Please remember this is not just about you liking the name. It’s about your daughter, who will have to live with it for the rest of her life. You might be happy to correct people’s pronunciation but she might not be. If she’s a little shy, for example, there’s a good chance she might dread the start of the academic year when every teacher in the form mispronounces her name. And that’s just one example.

I’m from another country and chose names for my children that were very similar or identical in English and in my language for this very reason.

Do it - my three all have Irish names. Two visually phonetic- one not

i fretted but there were all
kinds of ethnic names in her class at school - it was grand. The ones who know her every day will know it

@lovebeingmuma I see you've a couple of threads in Baby names. I suggest you start one in Craicnet and avoid the posters who think calling your child any other name than a standard English one is unthinkable.

Perhaps you should get your eyes tested then.

I can't believe that xenophobic comment is still there!
Are you proud of yourself @LadyLolaRuben?

The xenophobia goes beyond borderline in places.

No they don't. I have an Irish name. When I lived in England, I had a colleague ask me how I pronounced my name. I told her. She informed me she preferred her way of saying it and would use that instead.

I was young at the time and only rolled my eyes and was grateful I had very little interaction with her. I would react very differently today.

For me, I don't mind if people don't get the pronunciation exactly right so long as they make an effort.

i didn’t know where to even start with that name. Is there another name you like that’s less difficult to pronounce?

Well that was certainly rude of her, but it's not an attitude I've encountered.

Most English people are wanting to get the pronunciation right.

If you love the name, then use it for your DD.
I teach in a London school, and there have been many children whose names I didn’t know how to pronounce, in many different languages. It’s really not a problem, the parent explains the pronunciation, the other children pick it up really quickly ( faster than I do) and if I get it wrong there a bunch of classmates all telling me the correct way to say it.
In a less multicultural area, it might be different, but even then, given the fashion for more unusual names, I don’t think it’s the issue it might once have been.

I was responding to your comment "So do the English, every time".

In my experience, it's a very mixed bag. Since people twist themselves into knots to try and get it right, some people make no effort at all and call you some random nonsense, some people decide to call you by an abbreviation they make up. Most people make a reasonable effort and that's fine.

There’s 2 different questions here :

1. should I give my child an Irish name when they will grow up in England (in my opinion, yes)
2. should I give my child a name I am pronouncing incorrectly and that is almost the same as the name of her sister (in my opinion, definitely no).

So don’t call her Aoibhin, but for reason 2 not reason 1.

I really do find attitudes on MN towards non-English (especially Scottish, Irish and Welsh) names perplexing and not at all reflective of real life.

I'm an immigrant and was reading girl's name in my DC's class as Eye-oh-fee. Guess her original name. Aoibhin I would pronounce as Eye-oh-bin.

I would not use any traditional name that is not pronounced in accordance with rules of Englisin language in London, where 60% of ppl are immigrants. Unless you use it as a character building exercise.

I also had a Turkish friend born here and she was not happy how her very simple name was pronounced here and chose much easier but still Turkush names for her DCs.

But what if your child fundamentally doesn’t care less about being of an Irish background? Citizenship is very different to identity.

Automatic grant of citizenship when born overseas is the norm for many countries. As I mentioned, my husband was automatically granted 3 citizenships the moment he was born. Which one is he meant to have allegiance to?

Aoife. For heaven’s sake, your ignorance is not an excuse.

What is interesting is I have an English name but it is a name that has variations in other countries. Every time I meet someone Spanish, Italian or French they pronounce it their way (even adding the extra consonants) and don’t even try to pronounce it the English way. I actually love that as it always sounds so gorgeous but it isn’t my actual name. Doesn’t even remotely bother me