Calling daughter husband's Ex's name?

[MaryBeardsBeard]

Nearing the end of my pregnancy and don't know the baby's sex

Have a couple of nice options for boys but really stumped for girls names that we agree on!

There is one girl's name we both like but it happens to be the name of my husband's significant ex.
It's a very common timeless name (think like Charlotte or Emma) so it isn't closely associated with her but his family and close friends will be aware of the link

If it makes a difference, they were together a few years long distance but didn't live together, ended amicably due to different goals in life. They stayed friends initially (I've met her a couple of times) but have gradually stopped and are no longer in contact beyond the odd birthday card etc

I personally am not bothered by the association at all, but will other people think it's weird?
Should we ask her "permission"?

Not weird as not an unusual name.

My cousin named her baby same as a school bully of mine (cousin didn't know). Initially I thought 'rubbish name' as I associated it with school bully. Now years later I think it is a lovely name as I associate it with my 2nd cousin. Associations change very quickly.

Asking her permission is mental. But tbh using her name is too.

No too weird
there’s plenty of timeless lovely names out there to choose from

Weird. Quite strange that it doesn’t bother you. It would really bother me.

It isn’t unlike people might think that her husband chose the name after his ex. I would.

Very weird.
Nope, just nope.
You dont say what your husband thinks?
Are you seriously happy for you and your husband to remember his ex everytime he says your daughters name?

I cant decide about this one. On balance, it feels like too close a connection.

Why do people have to be so uptight about ex relationships? Of course it’s fine. Why would anyone care? Surely everyone who is aware of it is an adult and can mentally cope with the idea that there is an ex partner in the world who you guys have an amicable but very faint connection with, and the child is not being named after her

I don't think I would. Just after having a baby is quite an emotionally difficult time and I wouldn't want anything that could make that worse. I'd keep name hunting. If it's quite a timeless name then maybe there are others in a similar vein? Can you name change and start another thread and ask for names with a similar vibe or sound to Charlotte (or whatever the name is)?

I don't see the issue. She was a moment in time in your husband's past.
As you say it's a common name. Many other people will have it. You don't need to ask her permission to use it you are not naming your child after her and she doesn't own the name.

If it's the only name you both like use it
Your husband'a family will soon just come to associate it with your child not his ex girlfriend .

Hell would freeze over before I named my baby after my DH’s ex girlfriend, but I am not a chill person. He suggested we name our son the name of someone I dated in school and even that gave me a bit of an ick, couldn’t handle it actually being a significant ex.

Noooo, never would I be happy to call my child my exes name. Actually I think it’s really weird that your DH is happy to name his child by the same name as someone he was with for a few years (and even possibly slept with!” Sorry, nope nope nope

Thanks for the replies guys :)
Majority seem to think it's weird, so I'll avoid and will keep hunting!

Absolute madness to even consider contacting the ex. What are you on??!

If it's a name you both like, then it's totally fine to use it. It's just a name you like. Nothing to do with the ex at all

Howling 🤣

It’s weird to use the name of an ex. It’s even more weird to consider asking her permission.

Pick a different name.

It would be a big no no for me. If my ex named his child the same as me, whether we were still in contact or not, I’d think it was very weird. I just don’t know why you’d do that. Different if it was an insignificant relationship but years? No. Just strange.

No, just no!

If it's that normal a name then there will be others you like! Ask on the baby names board "what other names are similar to X" ignore that they just say Ottilie for everything

I'd think it was hilarious if an ex called their kid after me and I'd never stop making jokes about it as long as I lived

I couldn't name a boy after any of my exes. It would just be weird. There must be more than one girl's name you like.

If it's an old timeless classic there are plenty of them.

Alexandra
Alice
Beatrice
Victoria
Elizabeth

A few to get you going.

🤣 this made me chuckle. Suspect everyone would be the same on the quiet.

I remember when pregnant with my first, I told her dad that any and all names of women he’d been in relationships,or otherwise been intimate with, were immediately vetoed. Hormonally made him write a list and everything. It was a very diverse name list in the end!

No need to ask her permission, and if it’s a commonly used name I doubt people would think anything of it. Having said that, I don’t think I’d do it personally.

My mum and stepdads ex-wife have the same name. 😅 it’s not awkward and rarely comes up in conversation. If it doesn’t bother you, I’d do it.

I definitely wouldn’t do it. I also love my husbands ex’s name but never in a million years would have given it to my child - there’s loads of other names.