Brother wants to use my name

[MaryAntoinette]

Bit of a tricky situation. I have two daughters, both of whom we've hesitated calling Esme. They've ended up with different names but it was a very close call each time up until the actual birth day, and my second daughter has Esme as a middle name. Now I'm pregnant with my third child, and surprise, it's a girl!

We're now considering using Esme (at last!) as her name.

But over the weekend, my brother who is engaged, told us how much they loved the name Esme when we were speaking about it, and that they'd like to use it for their future daughter. My DB's fiancée is not pregnant so it's all hypothetical.

What do we do? Use Esme or leave it to my brother even though it's all very theoretical at this stage.

If we use it - is it weird to name your third daughter with the middle name of the second one?
If we don't - is it weird for my DB to use it in the future?

I think if you loved the name that much you would have already used it.

I wouldn’t worry about your brother using the same name - I have the same name as my cousin and it’s never been a problem.

I had the very same dilemma, my DD has the middle name Rose which I love and wanted to use it as a 1st name for newborn DD.

We ended up going with a variant of Rose as we didn’t want to give them the exact same name. It is similar but not the same, honestly it’s something I’m glad about now as I think they deserve their own name.

I love Eliza though, imo it’s so much nicer than Esme.

This.

Agree.

At some point, your third daughter will want to know why she didn't get her own special name just for her.

There will be plenty of cast offs and second hand stuff in this girl's life - give her a name that's unique to her.

Tha nks everyone for your opinion. We've decided to leave the name Esme aside, and get our third daughter her own very special, very unique name. Probably Madeleine or Eliza.
Thank you as reading all the responses helped us make up our mind once and for all. I can now enjoy the pregnancy without low level stressing about this name.

Eliza is gorgeous.

How about Elspeth?

@MargotTenenbaumscoat bit of a mouthful for my french family (Franco British family)

Great Choice, I love Eliza
i named my imaginary twin girls Alice and Eliza!
I have 3 sons.

You'll thank you DH later, she's not going to be a pizza! Or a game!

I think it's weird to have loved a name 'so much' that you didn't use it first, used it as a middle name for your second, but now your brother & his gf have said they like it for a future name you want to 'ring fence' it by using it.

it wasn't 'good enough' for your first two girls names but it's 'good enough' for your 3rd.

give your 3rd daughter a name that's fresh & all her own!

Cross posted with you ( started my post then
had to leave it unfined, then saw your post after I posted it!)

good decision! Hope the pregnancy & birth hi well!
Madeleine is much nicer than Eliza!!

I've never seen it in this way! If anything my older sister was annoyed I'd stolen her middle name (TBF her first name is terrible - don't name your kids after a fictional Highland cow guys🙈)

OP, Eliza and Madeleine are both beautiful

You’re the one who’s pregnant so use whatever name you want! By the time they get pregnant they might change their mind anyway, then you’ll be wishing you used the name you loved after all!!