Using a mutual friends very unusual baby name…

[Sep88]

My husband and I can’t agree on boys names. The only one we both really like is very very unusual and was used by friends of friends. We never see them and they’ve moved to the other side of the country. However, we do follow each other on social media.

I’d be tempted to block them on sm and crack on, but I think our mutual friend will make it weird. They are a very gossipy couple.

There is a Welsh and Irish spelling and pronunciation of the name that we have toyed with. However, we like this particular version as it’s the name of a local beauty spot that means a lot to us.

What is the etiquette in this situation? Message and ask for permission? Ignore the fact and use the name anyway and accept our mutual friend will gossip but it will blow over? Use the alternative that is a bit halfhearted? Ta!!

No one has dibs on a name. Crack on @Sep88

I wouldn't worry about it at all! Just choose the name you like.

You'll never see them again, most likely, so why not ? Gossipers will gossip, who cares ?

As ever with these naming threads, the answer is just use the name you love.

If it's the name of a local beauty spot then it's probably used by others locally too - perhaps not as unusual a choice as you're expecting.

Why would your friend gossip about it anyway? You are naming a child, no one is doing anything scandalous or gossip worthy.

I'm curious as to what the name is.

Get ahead of it and if you know them well enough message them on social media saying that you picked the name because of the beauty spot and then remembered that they also had a little [Scenic Location], etc.

But maybe also drop annoying friends? Anticipating that they will annoy you already shows they’re not worth it.

Crack on.
It didn't actually occur to us that next door but 2 had a 5 year old with the same, fairly unusual at that time, name as we'd chosen for DS until we met them with said baby a few weeks old. Then I introduced baby Balonz to big Balonz, and said what a great name it was. Noone has mentioned it again.

If you say the name we might be able to find something the same vibe you might like more.

One of my DC has an unusual name. Someone (friend of friend) heard it used of my DC, liked it and gave it to her next baby.

I was delighted when I found out.

Just go for it.

Just use it! Let them gossip if that’s their bag, but if someone copied my kid’s name I’d probably just be quite flattered that someone liked the name I chose that much (as long as they weren’t going to be in the same class at school or something 😂)

Do people really care if someone they vaguely know uses the same name as then?

use the name you like. in the nicest way possible, noone else really cares that much.

I’d think it weirder that you block them before you do it!!!!!!

Ben Nevis.
😉😁😁.

I think if you block them that will give them more ammo to gossip about haha

No need to block them. Just call your child whatever you fancy!

My daughter has a fairly unusual name. I once received this text from a neighbour/friend of friend.

hi fizzandchips we’ve found out our baby is a girl and we’re going to call her [my daughter’s name]. It’s such a beautiful name and we wanted you to be among the first to know that we’ve chosen it for our daughter too.

It’s was perfect. No permission requested (because no one owns a name). A decision made - this is what we’re naming our child/have named our child with a bit of flattery thrown in being the first to know so they feel special.

I wasn’t put out in the slightest (because no one owns a name) but even if I had been such a perfect message would have softened the blow.

If you've been able to establish there's a Welsh and Irish version as well as the version you want to use (English?) Then surely it's not that unusual?

Is it so unusual that your child may not like it when they are older?

I think you're overthinking it and that Durdle Door is due a comeback to be honest, OP. You might find that his reception class is full of little Durdles when the time comes.

I think Durdle has quite a cute ring to it. Or twins called Durdle and Dartmoor, and they could fight about having UNESCO status.

OP, this sounds a bit mad. They’re not even your friends, they’re friends of your friends, who live in another country, and whom it’s perfectly likely you’ll never set eyes on again. You don’t even appear to like them much, if all you’ve said about them is that they’re ‘gossipy’!

I can’t see a problem with you choosing the same name as someone else. It’s not like they are brothers where it would be weird.
Also, names are never as unusual as parents think by the time dc start school.

The blocking thing is the weird aspect of your post, not the use of the name.

Friends of friends...I wouldn't even consider not using the name or telling them.
We named out DD the same as a close friend (including the same nickname) and my cousin. I mentioned briefly in passing it was on our list but didn't get their permission to use or not.
It hasn't caused any gossip in our friend group.