Everyone naming baby the same as ours!

[Bubble92]

So we recently had a baby boy. We thought long and hard about his name and eventually chose one which is fairly common but there were no others of that name in either of our families across several generations. Let's pretend it was Thomas Jack.
A year later my husband's cousin had a baby and called him Thomas. Now, my husband's extended family is quite close and although they live quite far away we see them quite a bit. I was privately miffed but I'm a reasonable person (i hope!) and obviously don't own the name and it is fairly common so I didn't say anything.
Fast forward to now..another cousin has had a baby boy and called him Thomas Jack. First and middle names the same as our son. Like what? There are other boys names out there! I know it's a great name 😂 but seriously. I'm not going to say anything because I know they are entitled to choose any name, but I do think it's weird.
Now there will be three Thomas's similar ages at family get togethers. I do feel a bit upset about it tbh. Would you be upset?

It’s just what happens when a name takes up upswing in popularity

My mum was very miffed when it happened with mine..

I think if you pick a common name then you can't really complain if cousins use the same name. I wouldn't mind my cousins using the same name as my children at all. In the grand scheme of things, there's worse things to worry about!

I do get the 'you don't own a name', and I would say the same on many threads, but I do think it strange if this is obviously a family you see often.

Saying 'cousin' tends to mean people think of their relationship with their cousins. It wouldn't have mattered with me and my cousins as they live in different parts of the country and we only see them about once a year. It would be very odd with my (adult) dc and their cousins as they have grown up more like siblings and all live locally, and see each other regularly, and, as they get a bit older are likely to go to the same Scout Groups or Football Teams.

So, my cousin relationship (like yours OP) - no problem.
Your dh's cousin relationship (like your dh's) - then yes, it is odd. They could have used a different name.

It is quite odd for them to give the same name within the generation. My brother, my uncle and my grandad all had the same name. It was only when I was older that it seemed a bit weird (my brother having the same name as our dad’s brother) but at least they weren't the same age group.

If it’s a fairly common name then it is going to happen. If it’s something like Hubert Xavier and they copy that would be odd!!

It does seem rather strange and unimaginative. The only explanation I can think of is that they’d always had their heart set on that name, and decided to use it for that reason, despite there being others in the family with the same name.

Original Thomas
Copy 1
Copy 2

That should do the trick.

One common name is fair enough, but if it isn’t a family name then same middle name as well is weird.

No, it doesn't matter how popular a name is. There are enough names out there to give each family member their OWN name!

It depends how often family see each other. My cousins might say we were close, but the reality is that we've met up around twice in the last 5 years. I wouldn't feel bad using a name they'd already used for their DV for my own if I loved the name. On the rare occasions we happened to meet up, I'd just tell my Thomas that he was being renamed Humphrey for the visit. I've always loved Humphrey but DH wouldn't let me use it for our DC 😂.

It's very hard to keep your children's name obscure no matter how unique it is. Both myself and my brother picked fairly uncommon names and the same thing happened to both of us.. a celebrity picked the name for their children and it shot up in popularity! It is annoying when it's your own family using the name though.

”Not close” doesn’t mean “doesn’t care about,” though. It just means “isn’t likely to be confusing on a regular basis.”

Second cousins once removed (what the boys are to each other) are distant enough relatives that it doesn’t seem weird to me, certainly.

Three of our extended family are called Joe - all in the same generation, same side of the family. People don’t really mix them up.

The name isn't Thomas. I just used that to remain anonymous. Our sons name is fairly popular but not as popular as Thomas. I only know one other child with his name outside of the ones now in our family.

I think if someone has always liked a name, they should go with it. Regardless of other family and friend choices. It’s up to them. It isn’t about anyone else, that’s just their choice.

The thing about picking a common name is that they're popular with lots of people. So it's likely people will use it regardless.

I agree OP, it's odd! My sister had this situation, she called her ds Joseph, then the following year her Sil called her baby Joseph! They lived close to each other as well.

It's a bit weird within a family.

My sons name is sort of unusual, at his 8 week check up, waiting in the Dr's reception area, the nurse came out and said his first and middle name and me and another mum stood up! Same name! Same age.

Didn't end up in same school though.

Hard disagree on this. We’ve had our sons name chosen for years before he was brought into this world, we always said if we had a boy he would be our X.

If someone else, a cousin in the family decided to name their child that - it would obviously make me think oh no they’ve picked our favourite boy name but it wouldn’t stop me naming my son that name.

I think the only time I would genuinely consider changing is if my sister or sister in law named their child the name we liked.

This. The likely story is that because it’s a common name all 3 mums/dads have chosen it, it’s probably in the top 20-50 baby names.

If it's a popular, traditional name like Thomas and Jack then I'm assuming they used it because it's so popular, they didn't think it would bother you.

The cousin that also used the same middle name, is it a family name? If not it's also possible that they just forgot yours has that middle name too.

Your child and cousins child probably won't even know their related in the future so I wouldn't be concerned. Genuinely have no idea how many or who my Dad's cousins children are. Met my Mum's cousins children once in my life at my Grandparents funeral 30 years ago.

I think it’s weird. Especially first and last name. I wouldn’t want my child to be ‘young Jack’ or ‘little Jack’ so would have picked a different name for that reason.

It's how it happens. Basically we pick up on names that we like and we don't realise that a lot of people in our generation have done as well. It's like the name Arlo which I had never heard before and then suddenly every other baby boy announcement was an Arlo! (I don't have an Arlo).

And yes one of our children has a family name as a middle name and other cousins in the same generation have that middle name.

Three times in one generation of the family…when it’s not even a family name? No, I don’t think many people would expect that.

There are eleven cousins and 22 first cousins in my now ex h family and not one first name has been repeated. One child has been given the name of a recently deceased family member and another has it as a middle name. It's easily done to not repeat/copy. Take it as a compliment or they can't think for themselves.