Baby doesn’t feel like their name

[Heyprecious]

Help. My almost one year old - I just don’t feel like their name fits them? I can’t shake it

only problem is, I have already changed their name once which suggests it’s most likely/definitely a me problem? I darent tell anyone that I feel like this, but I do think I panicked and chose a name I wasn’t 100% on and I wish I’d given myself more time to think about. I think the hormones are getting to me.

anyone felt similar in the past then actually the name ended up being fine?

In the kindest way OP, if you have already changed the name once and still don't feel "bonded" to this name I would suggest it is a you problem. Have you sought any support from GP or HV as I believe this can be a sign of PPD?

I felt like that with both of mine. I got used to it eventually!

It’s worth considering that it can be a sign of PPD.

This is helpful,I feel less alone! I think perhaps I’m just over thinking it 🥴

i didn’t feel either of my DCs identity was their name until they were a bit older. They start recognising their name about 1 but by 18 months it just feels like their name.

You have changed it once already. You cannot change it again, unless it's "Little Shitbag"

Do you usually have issues with making decisions and what does your partner say?

I have known a few people who are known by names that are not their official, birth certificate name. Some have a name that's not even a middle name.

No. You don't change a name for the 3rd time.

Do you not? Says who? If you met them, you’d never know so, be gone

Thank you for sharing because yeah, I think I’m massively overthinking it!

You do you but tbh I think it's wrong to change a 1 yo child's name for the 3rd time.

Agree @MumChp 👍

I am someone who changed their baby's name, like you. I wouldn't change it again as I believe it would have to be by deed poll - which is faff for the child - they would always need to declare their previous name for different things. With the first change it was a change on the birth certificate to their birth name, so doesn't apply.

Can they go by a nickname or shortened version of their name instead?

I just used a nickname we had, until it felt right. I agree with the poster who said it may be PPD related, I think this was part of it for me.

took me about a year to get used to DC1 name honestly ! It was mainly DH choice and it’s great but took a long time

dc1 now 18 ! Would not have admitted it before

are you wagging your forefinger whilst looking stern ??

If you really do hate it start using the new name now and change it officially later down the line. Just incase you go through it all again only to hate it again.
Or start using a Nn?
If your Dd hated her name as an adult she can change it by deed poll. X

If it helps a friend had a new baby but the sibling decided to use another name. That name stuck. Child is now three and their name is still the siblings name choice. Everyone uses that name and no one knows or cares what she was registered as

It’s your child and they’ll have their new name a lot longer than they’ve had the one you’ll change it from. You say it every day and if you feel like they seem strongly like something else, and you’re confident this time, then change it. call them the name and make sure you are confident before changing it.

have they been unusual names you chose? Could it be it’s different from names you’re used to and you actually prefer more traditional names and haven’t realised? (I think this was my issue)

i felt the same and when asking my HV and midwife, the midwife had changed her sons name at 7 months and the HV had felt like this and didn’t make any changes and she admitted she still sometimes feels like it’s wrong…her son is now 21!

I think it’s common and not always a sign of PPD. It’s a big decision and I think you are rushed into it at a time when you’re hormonal and tired

They’ll grow into it. It’s sometimes hard to imagine one’s jolly lump of a one year old being the sentient being you were imagining when you called it James or Sophia, but they will be.

It's not really about random people knowing, it's about your child knowing their name and having it changed.

If the name is really weird/ridiculous then change it.

If it's a perfectly nice name then get used to it.

The only exception would be if the baby is known by a nickname and you changed their full name to something else but kept the same nickname e.g. the baby is known as Lu (short for Lucinda) and you change their name to Lu (short for Lucia); this is fine as it doesn't cause a problem for the baby.

@Rachmorr57 this doesn't apply to the first change as done under a year old (the new name becomes their legal birth name) but this may apply if it's changed again yes, as it'll be changed by deed poll. Mind you, the only records she'll have so far is NHS I reckon, so not many things will have been recorded under this name yet anyway, so probably irrelevant. I may be wrong though. I can't imagine she'll have declare this name, as it won't have been used for much yet.