Can I register dad's last name if he's not present?

[mollieangel123]

Exactly what the title says

Anyone know if I can register our baby without my partner being there? My partner is in the army and he's away while we register her but we're also not married.

Thought I'd see if anyone knows if I can still do this

You can register whatever name you like.
But, if I could go back in time I would have given my dc my name rather than EXP's name as if we had married, there would have been no issue with changing the dc's name to match.
When we split, there was obviously no question of the dc changing their names to match mine.

I don’t no anything about it, but google says it’s possible I think
www.gov.uk/government/publications/statutory-declaration-of-acknowledgement-of-parentage-form

Oh I see, I missed the last name bit as it’s only in the title. Yes you can do that

Don’t worry you can register the birth if he’s away and time doesn’t allow you to wait.

www.gov.uk/adding-fathers-name-birth-certificate

You can give your baby any first and last name you like, so yes, you can register with her father's last name without him there.

You don't have to though - I wouldn't want to have a different surname to my child.

Register them under your name, then change the baby's surname when you get married.

You'll be bringing up the baby alone as your DP will be away a lot, and it makes life easier if mother and child have the same surname.

You can call your baby any name you wish. however. If you are not married for your partner to be registered as the child’s father he has to do it. Best thing is to discuss it with the registrar; he/she will have come across this situation many times.

Definitely don't give baby his surname. Makes no sense if you're the one raising him.

Do you mean can you add him to the birth certificate?

https://www.gov.uk/adding-fathers-name-birth-certificate

Just found this. Should help

He can complete a statute of registration (I think that's what it's called) for her to take with her to the appointment.

This. Can always be changed later. But don't paint yourself into a corner.

I'm married and my kids still have my name. You'd be foolish to give them his name. I don't understand this antiquated choice in a modern western society. You're no longer his property.

In the Forces?

Get him to see his welfare officer asap. He can complete a Stat Dec, and then even if unmarried you can still register him as the father (well trodden path for the military on deployment)

But you can register your DC with any surname you like - yours, his, double-barrelled, other blend or plucked from thin air just because you like it.

It's traditional, btw, to give the DC the mother's surname (which of course matches the father if she has changed it on matrimony). There are very good reasons for maintaining this tradition.

Normally if unmarried the father must be there when the birth certificate is filled out.
However there are exceptions such as being in the military (as said above ^).
He just needs to ask his superior what the procedure is.

OP, if you want your child to have your partners surname then yes you absolutely can register it as that without him present.

Even if you haven't got the signed statute of registration and need to add dads name later, you can still register baby with his (or anyone else's) surname, if you want to.

I did this with DD1.

Not sure why everyone feels the need to jump in and derail the thread with their own thoughts and feelings about what surname your baby should or shouldn't have when that's not what you asked and they have no idea about your personal preferences or circumstances. Rude.

If he argues about the baby having his surname and that it's tradition you can argue that it's tradition for babies of unmarried mothers to have their mothers surname.
Baby can have his surname if and when he marries you and if and when you take his name.

@mollieangel123 as @sel2223 says you can use his surname for the baby if that's what you want even if his name isn't being put on the certificate at the moment.
You can literally choose any surname you want for the baby.

Not sure why everyone feels the need to jump in and derail the thread with their own thoughts and feelings about what surname your baby should or shouldn't have when that's not what you asked and they have no idea about your personal preferences or circumstances. Rude

It really isn't rude. There are women who genuinely believe that baby has to be registered with their fathers surname. Possibly the OP is one of them. There are then the women who know it's optional but feel like it's expected of them. Seeing the above messages will hopefully remind the OP that she can register her baby with her surname.

And I'm sure if the OP herself thinks it's rude, she can let us all know.

Not sure why everyone feels the need to jump in and derail the thread with their own thoughts and feelings about what surname your baby should or shouldn't have when that's not what you asked and they have no idea about your personal preferences or circumstances. Rude.

@sel2223 ,your Rude is the rude part on this thread.

Because OP's partner is in the forces,it's likely that she will be bringing up the child alone mostly,and it makes more sense for mother and child to have the same surname.

@HouseAshamed i find your response rude, you find my response rude.
We'll just have to agree to disagree.

You can put any surname you wish on the birth certificate but if you aren't married the father's name can only go on the certificate if he is present.

I agree with PPs though - put your surname on the birth certificate and it will be very easy to change the baby's surname when you marry - or all 3 of you can adopt a new surname, but make sure your child's surname is always the same as your own.

@sel2223 , it seems that you are failing to accept that the posters who are saying 'mother's surname' are saying it for reasons they might have some experience or knowledge of.

As OP's DP will be away on deployments, she will in many ways be a lone parent. She'll be doing all of the parenting most of the time. I wouldn't point it out were it not for your pig-headedness, but this can put an enormous amount of strain on a relationship. If they get married, then changing the child's surname is easy. Changing it because a relationship has irretrievably broken down isn't.

We're not being rude, we're being practical.

I hope that OP and her DP have a happy and successful relationship, of course, but giving the father's surname to a child is from centuries of patriarchy that isn't always practical in the 21st century.

Why would she change the baby's surname when she gets married?

What 'very good reasons' are there?