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Original poster

Is it crazy to give my surname as a middle name?

57 replies

baltimore97 · 05/05/2008 17:33

Since naming our first DD two years ago, DH has insisted that it was a silly idea to give her my surname as her last middle name. I did not take my husband's name when we married, and the two names sound ridiculous when put together in a double-barrelled surname. However, I wanted DD to have my name somewhere in the mix.

DD2 arrived 10 days ago, and we are now having the whole discussion all over again. I want her to have my surname as her last middle name, but DH is resisting.

Has anyone else done this? Can you help me prove to DH that my naming practices are not totally outlandish!

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WigWamBam · 05/05/2008 17:34

Depends on what your surname was, really ...

Blu · 05/05/2008 17:35

Not outlandish at all.

If he resists further say 'yes, you're right, let's just do away with your name and give dd2 mine'.

DS knows I have my name, and he loves having a name form each of us.

WanderingTrolley · 05/05/2008 17:36

Makes sense to me. Not fair for one child to have your surname in her name and not the other(s)

What's your dh's problem? It's her last middle name, it's unlikely to be used, it's not to replace his surname.

ohnoherewego · 05/05/2008 17:38

I did it for both mine. When my dcs went thro a phase of wondering why I had a different surname it made us all feel more connected IYSWIM

Original poster
baltimore97 · 05/05/2008 17:39

I thought I was pretty normal in my expectations! DH's problem is that my surname is a surname and NOT a middle name therefore should not be used as such....he is a bit of a pedant on these matters.

OP posts:
Tortington · 05/05/2008 17:41

i think its a cool idea - i wish i had thought of it. as an only child who took my husbands name ( and i think that was the right choice for me) there will be no more children with my maiden name - it effectively dies with me - in my family - others exist in few numbers out there somewhere ...anyway... if i had thought of it at the time i would deffo have given my eldest my surname as a middle name.

don't americans give a lot of mothers maiden name as first names?

littlepinkpixie · 05/05/2008 17:41

I think this is a pretty normal thing to do.

hanaflower · 05/05/2008 17:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mamado · 05/05/2008 17:47

both my dds have my surname as their second middle name, and its certainly a surname kind of name! I really wanted to have a name in common with my dds and since my dad died when I was very young and my brother doesn't look like having kids, I thought it was a way to carry on the name. Besides, whatever happens, I've always been very attached to my surname!

btw the only annoying thing is when people try to make it a double barrelled surname - yuk!

eemie · 05/05/2008 17:48

I did it - and my surname couldn't be more surnamey (It's McSomething).

At that time I had no intention of changing my name but wanted to share/pass it on.

My sister did the same with hers.

It's a perfectly normal Scottish thing to do with surnames.

wem · 05/05/2008 17:51

I'm pregnant with my first and will be giving he/she and any future children my surname as a middle name. It's something we discussed before we got married as I didn't take dh's name and our names double barrelled sound ridiculous.

Blandmum · 05/05/2008 17:56

I have done this. Aftwe we did it, I found out that all of dh's ancestors did the same thing

BettySpaghetti · 05/05/2008 17:57

My Grans middle name was her mother's maiden name (Mitchell).

I think it was quite a popular thing to do then (1920's) either in Scotland , where she was born, or across the UK

Shoshe · 05/05/2008 18:06

Betty after doing my family tree (Scots side) I found that the mothers maiden name was normally given as the middle name, as the child (especially the son ) was usually called after a relative so by giving the maiden name it identified which family the child actually came from.

i.e my

gGrandfather was Robert Lisle Denholm married to Jane Davis
Granfather was Thomas Davis Denholm married to a Mary Hay Black,

Their son was Robert Black Denholm

and so on and on (I think my family called all thier sons either Robert, Thomas or Alexander)

pinkorblue · 05/05/2008 18:09

Definitely do the same for DD2 - I think if you don't, you will regret it.

edam · 05/05/2008 18:09

I agree this is entirely sensible. And Blu is right - if your dh objects tell him, fine, she can have YOUR surname, not his. You are the one who pushed the baby out of your fanjo.

Buckets · 05/05/2008 18:10

Totally common practice in the UK. I went to school with a girl whose MN was Douglas.

ivykaty44 · 05/05/2008 18:10

This practice was very very common in 1800's and still is often used nowerdays. I have relations with surnames for middle names.

Also on a plus side it makes family history so much easier in years to come - your decendents will thank you for this in a 150 years time

They will of course wonder why your eldest didn't get the middle name and not realise it was due to an argument....

Rolf · 05/05/2008 18:14

Perfectly sensible/normal thing to do. I have taken my DH's name but we use other family names as middle names.

CoteDAzur · 05/05/2008 18:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

constancereader · 05/05/2008 18:19

I did this too.
It is a nice thing to do.

Shoshe · 05/05/2008 18:20

Yes Ivy it did make things easier till I found that Alexander Davia Black married Jane Davis Smith in 1856 and 1871 and 1877, my family are sooooooooooooo inbred ( we do not have three heads honest)

wastingmyeducation · 05/05/2008 18:22

When this baby arrives (40+5) he shall have my maiden name as his middle name. My generation of the family are nearly all girls, so there's hardly anyone left with our surname.
We haven't picked his first name yet, though!

xx

hairycaterpillar · 05/05/2008 18:25

Common thing to do in Scotland.

My DH's middle name is Black (his mums maiden name). Thought it a bit weird at first but actually now quite like the idea...although my maiden name is NOT one I would want my DC to have as a middle name.

hatwoman · 05/05/2008 18:30

both dds have my surname as their middle name. and it's kind of extra nice as it continues a dh family tradition (scottich influence). dh and fil have dh's grandma's maiden name as their middle name