The Gabriel / James issue again. Long rambling post....

[frannied]

Hi,I posted my dilemma about choosing between these 2 names a few weeks ago, but am still in a mess with it. When he was born he was Gabriel, then people (men mainly)started saying he'd be teased (Gay jokes etc). So, after alot of deliberating we decided to call him James, which we did for a month. Then I started hearing the name James absolutely everywhere, and although I'm not into names that make a child 'unique' and all that, I also don't want him to be one of many James in his class. So then I started calling him Gabriel again and DH has been gradually coming round to swapping back. But on saturday I bumped into a friend ( a v. cosmopolitan, broad minded friend)who shocked me by being adamant that my ds's life WOULD be made hell through teasing. So now I'm back to square one and I'm hating and annoying myself by being so indecisive.

My DS is being christened on sunday, so I've got to make a permenant decision or we'll have to change is name by deedpoll after that, if we make the wrong choice.

These are the issues that are doing my head in, and some general questions:-

1)I love the name Gabriel but I wouldn't want to make my ds's life remotely tricky, so should I just stick to James?

2. I know James is in the top 10, but is it really very common?? Do you know loads of Jameses? Is it a boring, non-descript name?

• DS is registered as Gabriel James. Is it ridiculous to call someone by their middle name, or should we just swap the names round and make his life simple? But I feel his name IS Gabriel James even if he is known as James, if that makes sense. Any mums netters known by their middle names - how is it?

*Does anyone know any adult Gabriels - were they teased?

God, what a mess. My poor ds. Got to make a final decision by sunday once and for all.
Thanks, Fx

Oh, it was a man friend, was it? My point still stands.

Yes, a man. Not so cosmopolitan after all me thinks.

Gabriel is a great name, never thought of it before. I had the nickname argument with my parents and parents in law. We called our daughter Willow and they were adament she will get teased being called everything from Willy to Weeping Willow (major thanks to the Mum who called me plain jane). I have come to the conclusion that the name which sticks is the one that is used by the family. If a shortened form of Gabriel is used it is commonly Gabe. Can I nick the name Gabe for my unborn please, it is a bit cool.

Gabriel and Gabe are both lovely names- would have been on our list for dc1, but for a clash with our surname, twas a dd anyway.

One thing I've learned through years working in education is that no matter what a child's name is... they will have the mickey taken, and they will get a nickname.

The only Gabriel in the class, or James A, James D, James G, James S, James T whatever for the rest of his life?

Am very intrigued by the comedy name Pruni!!!!!

Gaylord?

I meant Gabriel, never been fond of shortened versions.

Hatrick - I did, I'm just puzzled where the gay connection comes from?

My godson is called Gabriel and he has always been really popular at school and is quite happy with his beautiful name,he is confident and laid back and being called gay would have probably not bothered him at all anyway.He is 16 now and not traumatised or rushing to the deedpoll office! Know a couple of other adult Gabriels,they seem quite happy too.If you love it and it suits him then stick with it,but if you are going to keep worrying then maybe its not the right name as he might pick up on that.

Very helpful hellymelly. thanks x

D'oh, I get you now. It's how it's pronounced in English. (In Romanian it's more like Guh-briel.)

have a look at my profile pic. SO not gay lol

Gabriel James is lovely. I'd keep it. If you change your mind later you can always use his middle name.

Good point from hellymelly - you need to be sure so you don't give out 'bad vibes'.

I love both names. BTW, I used to date a Nigel (which is 100x more teaseable than Gabriel) and he maintained it actually made him really strong as he had to escape the stereotype. I'm sure children of all names have been bullied and, as previous posters have said, if children want to be unkin, they will find a way.

Enjoy Gorgeous Gabe's day!!

unkind that is

it's ok, I've been fattening him up

i know 3 gabriels noo teasing

only adults have hang ups over names kids accept them- they are all so different nowadays

so sweet fingerwoman

so sweet fingerwoman

PaulaYates is right - I used to teach in London in a very ethnically diverse school - none of the children had any problems with names that adults would stumble on. No name related teasing either despite lots of Princesses and Treasures etc that might seem unusual.

You know what, I have come across quite a few Gabriels in various baby groups, but not one James. But does it really matter how many there are? Other children will find all sorts of ways to make fun of each other, so go for the name you prefer rather than what you think others will think.

Well I think I'm going against the flow on this thread but I think that as you clearly have reservations about Gabriel as a name, then if you go with it, you're never going to be 100% happy. FWIW, I think it's beautiful name. But I also know that children and young people crave normality - the worst thing as a kid is to stand out, or have something that gets you teased. And I'm afraid there just is a big chance that he will get teased. So I would go with James Gabriel which is also lovely.

abigail i agree