Everyone pronounces our daughter's name wrong

[StarShine23]

Hi all, advice needed please.

We named our daughter after someone we know from abroad. Its a pretty simple name but we had never heard it in the UK before. Baby is now 1 and the name has become more popular here, but it has a different pronunciation than we use. The problem we have is we don't like way its pronounced here, but everyone we meet now calls her by the UK version rather than her name, even though we correct them.

Do we:
(a) stick to our original pronunciation, even though it will be a battle for her growing up when other people with the same name all pronounce it the UK way
(b) accept the UK version, even though we dont like it and to us, doesn't suit her
(c) change her name

Has anyone else been through this? What did you do / wish you had done?

We feel awful that we have unwillingly picked something that is going to be tricky for her now all her life, but we love the name.

I work with a Gui, who does pronounce it Ghee. He's Portuguese. This is one real occasion when people actually did use the oft-quoted-as-an-urban-myth gooey pronunciation to begin with until corrected. Nobody actually called him Guy, funnily enough.

@solongandthanksforallthedish , You are not the naming/spelling/pronunciation authority. No one is.
I am on my own name.
It's about respecting others.
Have you considered applying that to yourelf?

My working class London mum says caffee.

I think my friend Sara who pronounces it Sarah knows how to say her own name. So does Sara Cox!

I have a few friends whose names are pronounced differently to the usual pronunciation of the name in English and friends who have “foreign” names. Yes, initially they are pronounced wrong but they are corrected and everyone moves on. Likewise, my name is spelt differently to normal. I always correct the spelling and normally introduce myself with the spelling to new people as it is a talking point. I love that my name is different, and I’m sure your daughter will love her name too.

Only your own name as applied to you. You don't get to say someone pronouncing it differently for themselves or their baby is wrong. Just different.

@JoanThursday1972 , Sara Cox is really Sarah. The Sara spelling is from a misspelling by an agency and it stuck. She's Mrs Sarah Husbandsurname IRL.

We have this same problem with my son's name. He's 20 now and even though we use the correct pronuncation all the time lots of other people who have known him all his life use the wrong pronunciation.
I don't really know what you can about it.

Well, exactly.

William can be Will-yum or Will-ie-um.

It's just accent.

The way different accents pronounce the "a" sound in Jane is very different. No-one thinks that people are saying the name "wrong." It's just different.

A simple correction once should sort it for most people. I have a name that people often get wrong and both my kids have welsh names but we live in NI - they both sound like Irish but are spelt differently. People who care learn very quickly and want to get your name right. People who make assumptions and/or insist on mispronouncing names even after correction are rude in my opinion. For instance take the name Naomi, I know of at least three ways to pronounce that and always check rather than just assuming. With the multicultural society we now live in people should expect to have to learn name pronunciations and not complain about it or tell people they just have to accept it if others get their name wrong, and parents should be allowed to give their children names from cultures that mean something to them.

my name is pronounced in many different ways and I've had many different variations given to me. My own parents spell my wrong and still after 40 years they refuse to spell it the way everyone else does. Its annoying but I've learnt to live it with it. When I'm being petty I do sign my cards to them in large letters spelt the normal way.

I gave my children simple to spell and pronounce names and they hate them (LOL).

@solongandthanksforallthedish , you are entirely missing the point.
It is me saying other that other people insist I am getting my own name wrong.

There are 3 different pronunciations of my name and it doesn't bother me at all. As a previous poster said, it's really not a burden, just correct and move on.

I actually quite like the other 2 pronunciations so if I'm just somewhere for the day I usually just let it go and only correct if I will be seeing the people again.

@StarShine23 I do understand how you feel-

My DD has a name that was pretty unusual when she was born but not unheard of. Just not popular.
It has an English pronunciation which we use but also a French one which we/she think of as a slightly different name but same spelling.
She uses the short version in daily life so it's not an issue but although the French version doesn't sound right we tend to just go along with it after years of correcting!

not the same I know but reminds me of my Irish friend Saoirse when she started at our school back in the 80s. Sayorse? Saywarse? Etc. still
happens now and we are in our 50s!

there was another friend named Nikola who everyone called Nicola which gave her the rage!!

My daughter's name is a bit unusual and people don't usually pronounce it 'correctly' (as in, the way we say it). In the country my mum's from my family pronounce my name differently to the way I do. I don't mind either way and neither does my daughter, it seems. If it's something that would bother you then pick an unambiguous name, otherwise go for the lovely name you like and accept that people will pronounce it differently 🤷🏻‍♀️ If it does bother you your child will pick up on that and it will also bother them so don't give yourselves the stress if that's the case.

Just use the name as you always wanted to use it. Sometimes you just can’t win with names.
I have a very normal traditional English name. But people constantly either use an alternate spelling for it or lengthen it to another name. The lengthened version is not my name, but I get called that anyway. It used to bother me greatly but now I’ve just learnt to accept I can’t control other peoples wilful ignorance.

For the record, not trying to derail, I knew someone who pronounced it this way. He was French.

Similar situation with our daughter, in that we chose a name common in a different country but I'd never heard of in the UK. But it isn't a name that seems unusual for the UK and since naming her this, a few people have said oh I know someone called that etc, but nobody we actually know or have met in person.
So not the same level of confusion in the pronunciation of the name because it's not common but people constantly pronounce it wrong, even one of my friends I see weekly, who I can't bring myself to correct anymore.

For context, it ends in the letters 'ana' and we pronounce that as 'anna' but according to my aunt it should be pronounced 'arna' because of the spelling.
As in if we wanted it to be pronounced 'anna' we should have spelt it 'anna' and not 'ana', so it's all our own fault!
But the spelling and our pronunciation is from the country of origin (my husbands) & doesn't conform to British spelling standards!

However, because so many people assume the pronunciation is 'arna' based on the spelling, lots of people use that and it's hard to push against it. I corrected all family when they said it wrong and none of them say it wrong now but with nursery workers/people you see occasionally on playdates it's harder.
I honestly thought that if you repeated the name back to people correctly they would get the hint, but I'm realising people are quite unaware and won't notice at all that they are pronouncing the name incorrectly, so definitely feel like there's nothing to be done and don't want to be rude about it as she's now 2 so if they haven't worked it out by now they obviously don't care.

Not quite the same but my surname is ALWAYS pronounced wrong. It’s really not an issue at all, I either correct it or just ignore it and answer to the other pronunciation. Might be slightly more annoying with a first name though, although I imagine once she’s corrected it once with people then they should get it right moving forwards so it will mainly be when meeting new people.

This.

Do you feel you offend anyone when you call your kids name in public?

Nobody will be remotely offended if you say the name. It’s just a pronunciation you prefer.

Without knowing what it is, it’s impossible to decide whether it’s worth persisting with, or abandoning your chosen pronunciation.

The Dutch Guy I know is pronounced Ghee

Just correct people. My name is pronounced a different way in the UK... I just correct people 🤷🏼‍♀️

I googled this once because when DD was young I met two - one pronounced Es-may and one Es-mee.
Conclusion was both are equally valid and standard pronunciations, so presumably it is personal choice.
This was the first I'd met pronounced Es-mee, so I wonder if there are regional variations.