Advice on baby name same as Friend's son

[anof]

Hello,

We love a name so much that we would like to give it to our soon to be born son. But our friends, who are quite close and meet together each week, have a 4 year old son with same name.

Our daughter which is also 4 year old, gets along well with our friends' son and plays together much. She likes the name and wants to name the baby the same name. (our friends' son name, and the name we love).

What do you think from your experiences? would that be a problem for the kids? We asked our friends and they don't have a problem to name our son the same. But would that have negative impact on our son, or confusing the children and our daughter?

I'd would like to hear your experiences.

The kids will be fine with it. They'll soon get used to dealing with Ella S and Ella K or Alfie D and Alfie P once they get to school.

But I find it odd, given they are such close friends.

There are so many names out there, isn't there something else you love?

There's only a problem if the adults make it a problem. The kids will be fine, if you love it use it

If your friends them ask them. I wouldn't care, not with a four year age gap.

There are thousands of names to choose from - surely you can find another name just for your son?

Otherwise he'll always be little X

No matter how much I loved a name there is no chance I’d use it as a first name if it was the same or similar to a relatives/friends child. There are thousands of names out there. I’d consider a middle name but not a first.

I have a cousin named after his dad and it’s big Peter and little Peter. Little Peter hates it, it’s so annoying,

Our daughter which is also 4 year old, gets along well with our friends' son and plays together much. She likes the name and wants to name the baby the same name.

I would not let my 4 year old choose her brother's name.

Would you feel comfortable asking them how they felt? If it was me I'd find it flattering that you liked my child's name enough to want to use it but I know not everyone feels like that.

Sorry I've just seen that they're fine with it. Go ahead If you love the name!

Very much depends on the parents. Some are precious about these things and other aren't.

Personally I don't think I could choose a name that was the same as a friend's child. But having said that, I have a friend who named their daughter the same as my daughter, and then their son the same as my son! They are both pretty popular names so I thought nothing of it apart from "isn't it funny we chose the same names!" and my kids think it's brilliant!

Meanwhile, I recall a friend of mine absolutely fuming that another friend of theirs had named their son the same name as their son (very popular name!)

If your friends are fine with it then there's your answer!

I think as long as you're fine with them being known as "little X" or something similar then it's not an issue as the friends have said it's fine. DS1 and 2 and quite traditional Scottish names, if a friend chose the same I'd just think they had great taste! I think it is a bit different if a name is a bit more "out there".

You may find as life goes on that you don't see your friends as much; people move etc.
Use the name.

As long as your friends don’t mind, it’s fine!

I have a friend who named their daughter the same as my daughter, and then their son the same as my son!

Incredible

Well yes, I think so. It's a funny coincidence. Am I meant to be reading more into it??

This is a friend I've known for 25 years since uni days, but would only see a few times a year (less now as he lives abroad) and usually, but not always, without the children. Our daughters are 8 years apart; our sons are 14 years apart. They are both top 20 names. It's a non-issue.

I do remember seeing him at a get-together when his wife was a few weeks away from giving birth to their son. They knew the sex and had chosen the name. He had a real "oh s*" moment when he twigged that they'd picked the name of one of my children for the second time. He was mortified and asked me if it would be a problem for me; I laughed and said no because why would it? How would it affect me? We laughed about it then and we still laugh about it now 🤷‍♀️

Go with the name.

Life changes, your friends could move to the other side of the world!

The 2 kids will be 5 ish years apart so unlikely to spend much time together.

It depends on the name. A 4 year old will only know the names of people she's met or heard about (from a book/tv).

I loved the name Alexander but two of my friends had used it the proceeding year, they didn’t know each other. So I didn’t use it. I’m still in touch and our sons are all in their early twenties now. Apparently DS wants to call a son Alex if he ever has a lad so I’m pleased about that.

No chance I'd do this if it was a friend I saw regularly.

I find this really weird! There’s millions of names you could choose, why would you use the name of someone you see regularly?!

Thanks everyone for your replies. We just love the name, it's not a special name that would be weird to copy, it's a common classic name that just fits the criteria we had in mind.
My thinking is, what if the two families became friends after the babies were born and named? and what if I gave up the name I like, and then in couple of years my friends moved?
The name is something that my son would use for his whole lifetime.

But you're already friends, so the first 'what if' doesn't apply.
If they, or other good friends, had a baby and named it your daughter's name, would you be completely fine with it, just as you would any other name? Surely you can see it's a bit odd.
They're probably only saying they're fine with it because no one owns a name, so it would be unreasonable to say no, while really they wish you'd choose something different.

My sister had a name that was very similar to my daughters on her list, think Milly and Tilly, I told her she couldn’t use it as it was far too similar.

they are probably saying they are fine with it to be pleasant.
there are thousands of names , pick another.

Personally I would definitely be fine if a friend named their daughter same as my daughter. It just doesn't matter to me, it's not a name I invented nor it's a name that I've chose to be super unique or one in a million.

That's ridiculous and really not your place to say she couldn't use it.

My sister and brother have daughters a year apart that have very similar names - one has an additional syllable but otherwise the names sound identical. It has never been an issue and I can't imagine my sister ever telling them they couldn't use the name because it sounds similar.