It's so sad when.....

[Moier]

Asking strangers which baby names they like etc...
Or have chosen first name and asking for advice for a middle name etc...
Or which name do you prefer out of these etc...

Then the answers are..
No don't like that etc...
Oh what an awful name etc...
They don't go together etc...

The Mums to be surely must be disheartened at some of the comments..
???

If you don't want opinions, don't ask for them

Some names I've seen on here have been beyond hideous

I agree OP, sometimes the comments are unnecessarily harsh. Especially when threads ask, 'these are our three shortlisted names, which do you prefer?' and the replies are 'they are all hideous'. That doesn't answer the question does it? And similarly, 'we have chosen xxx for a middle name to honour a family member, which name goes best, x or y' and the responses are 'that middle name is common/overdone/ugly'. I feel this is completely inappropriate.

If you start a thread on Mumsnet you have to have thick skin, of course people are entitled to their opinions, but there is still a way of saying something. I don't think people would be as harsh in real life if asked their opinion.

If you are likely to be offended/disheartened don't ask. If your comment is likely to cause offence/is nasty or hurtful, rephrase or don't comment. Remember kids Google their own names and see the threads on mums net too!

I had the complete opposite experience when I asked opinions on a baby name this weekend. The responses were so kind and have made me more confident in my decision. So I guess it depends 😊

Only strangers are bold enough to tell honest opinions
No friend would risk hurting a mother's feelings.

It's mean to comment on names of the baby's older siblings, but surely it's better to get some honest opinions from strangers than giving a child a silly name.

If the comments on here are harsh, then chances are that IRL people will view the name unfavourably but not say so openly.

Posters will point out things that the OP might not have thought of like potential nicknames or that the first name and surname sounds like a phrase or don't go together.

If the OP has asked for honest opinions, I will be honest (but try to be tactful, not mean). If they haven’t asked for honest opinions I generally tell them my favourites of the bunch only. I used mumsnet to see what opinions people had of my kids names but it didn’t stop me!

I sometimes think posters can be intentionally hurtful regarding name choices there is no need to be nasty, but otherwise if someone asks for opinions then they will get people saying they don't like it.

I like if I have a choice so if its between 3 or 4 I can say the 1 I hate the least .

Friends will always tell you they like the name even if they don’t. At least on here you get what people really think.

To be fair if you don’t want honest opinions then you shouldn’t really ask…

oh I had somebody tell me they didn't like dd2s name it's not unusual or out there but probably a bit "dull" . anyway somebody actually screwed their nose up when i said her name !

The ‘it’s horrendous/awful/poor child’ comments get my goat - usually over a very run of the mill name.

I remember asking for opinions on dc4’s name and got some pretty disparaging comments but didn’t let it put me off.

If directly asked by anyone in the process of choosing a name I would be completely honest. Once the bay has been named I would not voice my opinion.

Some comments can be awful, BUT baby names is little different in that it's a decision we make for other people that they then need to live with for the rest of their lives. So if a particular name will have negative connotations for people, for whatever reason, then I think it's good for parents to be aware of that even if they decide to proceed.

Why ask then? Do you want honest answers or only validating ones?

Thank-you for the replies...l do know two women my age( 65) who don't have their birth names given by their parents..because as adults they hated it. .
I have asked my daughters if they like their chosen names and both more are okay with them.

IRL I'd probably say 'What a lovely name!' or 'I haven't heard that before?' whereas on here I'd say something like 'It's awful/dated' or 'Rose/May/Grace is a filler middle name and it would be better without the hyphen'

If people ask for advice they have to be prepared for people not to like the names.
If people are set on a name it's much better not to ask anyone what they think and simply announce the name after the child is born.
People have different tastes no name will be liked by everyone.

Yes, same.

You'll get honesty on here

Yes exactly.

I think if an OP asks for opinions it's fair game. And you should expect lots of coiled springs waiting to unleash how much they love or loathe a name. But if they ask which you prefer from a few options they already like, I don't express any strong opinions as they've already made their decision. Some people might struggle with differentiating between disliking a name and disliking individuals who have the name.

Some people might struggle with differentiating between disliking a name and disliking individuals who have the name.
Or they might like a name because of liking an individual with the name.

I'm not keen on names like Grace, Darcey, Margot, Audrey, Ava, Mia etc but they are or were associated with beautiful women.

I can think of sadder things...

if someone asks for an opinion then that’s what you are going get! I have howled at some of the names I have seen on MN but it’s not my kid, it's the parents choice and they shouldn’t be swayed by other people opinions, unless everyone says it’s hideous in which case you probably do need to have a word with yourself.

I think the baby name threads are mainly clickbate for advertising and traffic.
Easy subject, that many of us contribute to.

Many a time the OP never returns.

If you start a thread on here, you usually only ask about the first name or first and middle names. Sometimes the first name doesn't flow with the surname.

It doesn't matter how many replies the OP gets on how lovely the name is if she's going to give the baby a name that sounds ridiculous or be linked with a serial killer or something

This.

If you’re planning to call your kid something mad or just with strong associations for some people, it’s probably better you know what people will actually think, which is why people ask.

Doesn’t mean you can’t ignore the advice if you want.