Feeling guilty...gone off name

[Doggomom91]

Hi everyone, first time posting. I'm 24+6 weeks with a little girl and I'm stressing out about a name. It took us a while but we finally decided on Lilah or Lyla (undecided on spelling). We loved it so much that we have told people who have asked, and also been talking to her using that name.

Now literally overnight the name has started giving me the "ick", and I feel absolutely awful and embarrassed having to tell people we've gone off the name. My husband hasn't gone off it but he doesn't want her to be named something I don't like. I feel really down about it, like we've let her down by messing around with her name. It's really getting to me emotionally.

Am I right to feel this way or am I overthinking? Has this happened to anyone else? How did you approach it with other people who you shared your name choice with? We have some back up names but various people don't like them like my mom and MIL (Marnie and Bethany are top ones)

Help!

EDIT if our love for the name doesn't return, we obviously won't be naming that.

She's not going to be born for a few weeks yet. Don't saddle her for life with a name you don't like because you are embarrassed to tell people you changed your mind!

This time don't tell anyone until she's here.

Honestly, loads of us change our minds during pregnancy, even after babies are born and names announced - listen to your gut and choose a new name you like, even if that means waiting till she’s here.

and you haven’t mucked her about at all

Thanks for the reply but no we won't be naming her that if I continue to hate it. I agree we were hasty telling people. It just felt right at the time as we loved it.

Stop sharing your name choices until she's out and you're registering her. Until then, she can be anything. Try out names. See how they feel. Call her them at home. But don't tell anyone else!

Thanks for the reply but no we won't be naming her that if I continue to hate it. I agree we were hasty telling people. It just felt right at the time as we loved it.

It seems a bigger deal to you than it will to other people. It’s fine to say when she’s born that you looked at her and decided to call her x instead. Choose what you want, don’t tell anyone else before she’s born and people will have to get used to it. You’re prob getting really emotional over it due to the hormones. I like Marnie and Bethany btw.

You’ve got ages to pick a new name. Tell everyone you’re not set on lyla that’s just currently your top choice. Then stop telling them the potential names and you two just decide together, try some out, don’t stress, it’ll come to you.
she has no idea, you’ve not let her down at all.

Lyla/Lilah is a lovely name, but if you have gone off it, you have gone off it.
Don't feel bad about it! It's normal to change your mind.
You will find another name that you love, and it will suit your little girl.

I agree with @SisterMichaelsHabit and some other posters, in the future don't share the name discussion and/or name choices with anyone else. Keep it between yourself and your husband.

Thanks so much for the reassurance, really appreciate it ❤️

It’s normal to change your mind.

I’d have a shortlist and see what suits her when she’s here

If you think you’re mucking your baby about - well, we had a shortlist of three when DC1 arrived and I called him a different name each day to see what suited him best 😂

Lilah/Lyla (or Lila) is lovely, but you have plenty of time to choose something else if it doesn’t feel right to you. Seeing her face might decide it for you.

DS told everyone their new baby was going to be called X, but when she arrived they'd changed their minds and called her Y.
No-one gave a damn.
See how you feel when she's here and be assured that no-one who matters will care.

Don’t stress! My baby was George for my whole pregnancy. Even bought him a personalised teddy and we told everyone he was George. Anyway, a few days before he was born I completely went off it!!! To the surprise of everyone we named him Ezra (nothing to do with George Ezra lol) and I absolutely love his name, so glad I changed it! It’s so early for you, don’t stress too much about a name, it will come to you and it’ll be perfect x

There's absolutely no need for you to feel awful and embarrassed, you've done nothing wrong at all, and you certainly haven't wronged your baby.

Once she has arrived just tell people she didn't look or feel like a Lyla/Lilah at all, and you feel that the name you did choose suits her so much better. People won’t bat an eyelid. I had two friends who discarded a name they thought they loved once baby arrived and nobody judged them for it at all.

You've nothing to feel guilty about, wait until you see her.

That’s not unusual at all, it happens. Your only mistake was telling people! Even that’s no big deal though, they won’t give it a second thought.

Fwiw, I think it’s a lovely name. What about Layla(h)? instead?

No need to make a firm commitment until the baby is born and you've registered the name. Until then, everything is fluid.

Sometimes you look at a baby and know exactly what the right name is - or that one you'd though t of is the wrong one.

Don't fret it. You've plenty of time.

Why feel guilty?

Just decide on a new name for when she is born; then say to people you changed your mind and when you saw her you felt she just had to be "Whatever name you choose."

When she's born just tell people that she didn't look like a Lyla so you decided to go with x instead.

honestly no one will care. As long as grandparents having started buying those monogrammed tat then it's fine. Don't tell anyone else what name you are thinking of tell family you may have changed your mind and just announce what she is called once she is here and registered.

As above, you have plenty of time. DC's 3 and 4 didn't have names for a week following birth, as we couldn't decide between two in each instance. Took a week of trying them both out to decide which should be the first name and which the middle!

I really appreciate all the replies, it's made me feel sooo much better so thank you! I've had my head scrambled by my parents because since we've been trying to get pregnant they've been suggesting names and it's been driving me insane. It seems like such a big deal to them which is why I ended up telling them when we decided on Lilah, but I'm just going to say we are using one of the others now and won't decide til she's here. It's a learning curve for sure!

You haven’t mucked her about xx
She loves the sound of your voice but she doesn’t know what any of it means.

Marnie is lovely and relatively uncommon.

Thank you! We have a Layla in the family already, plus a life of her being sung Eric Clapton at! I do love the name though (and the song!)

It’s a beautiful name but you are allowed to change your mind.

Let your family think what they like, she’s your daughter.

FWIW my twat mother told everyone that dc3 was called something else. She wanted to pretend that she knew and announce their birth. We had to correct everyone. It wasn’t a big deal to others (but confirmed how much I dislike my mother).