Feeling guilty...gone off name

[Doggomom91]

Hi everyone, first time posting. I'm 24+6 weeks with a little girl and I'm stressing out about a name. It took us a while but we finally decided on Lilah or Lyla (undecided on spelling). We loved it so much that we have told people who have asked, and also been talking to her using that name.

Now literally overnight the name has started giving me the "ick", and I feel absolutely awful and embarrassed having to tell people we've gone off the name. My husband hasn't gone off it but he doesn't want her to be named something I don't like. I feel really down about it, like we've let her down by messing around with her name. It's really getting to me emotionally.

Am I right to feel this way or am I overthinking? Has this happened to anyone else? How did you approach it with other people who you shared your name choice with? We have some back up names but various people don't like them like my mom and MIL (Marnie and Bethany are top ones)

Help!

EDIT if our love for the name doesn't return, we obviously won't be naming that.

Sometimes it helps to have a placeholder name. I went for Dolly (as in Parton) because anyone who seriously thought that was going to be my child’s name wasn’t worth fretting about.

I wanted to call my DD Amelia but by the time she was born we went for something completely different and I didn't even consider Amelia anymore. It's completely normal to change your mind so don't worry. 🙂

It really won’t be a big deal to anyone. Change it if you want but like others say wait until baby is born before announcing new name.

It's not a big deal! We were set on a name for DD2 & told people she'd be called Chloe (not the actual name) then about 3 weeks before she was born I heard the boys version of her name on an episode of casualty & decided I wanted the girls version.

She's 22 now & has the girls version of the casualty name.

No one even remembers that she was ever going to be anything else.

Don’t worry. My baby was called Jeff up until 20 weeks when we found out she was a girl. Then we continued to call her Jeff tbh until she was 4 weeks old and we had a proper name for her 😂

I thought you were going to say that your child was 3! You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. Don't share any more name choices until she is here and you can announce your final choice.

It looks better spelt Lila without the y to make it Lyla.please don’t add a h to the end of it how ever you spell it. The h at the end looks tacky and wrong.

Both my kids had ‘working titles’ and referred to as that name all through pregnancy. Then we picked a different name once we met them, once you announce the name, no one will think of the other. It’s fine.

Perhaps its the baby's way of letting you know she doesn't like the name and has already named herself.

I hope pp have helped you gain a bit of perspective- you have another 3 months to find the right name!

Maybe have a shortlist of 3 names leading up to birth and decide “who” she looks like when she’s born.

Thank you for your opinion but I disagree that the h is "tacky". The issue with Lila is a lot of people would pronounce this Leela, which is a completely different name. We wanted to spell it in a way which would be obvious how it was pronounced. But that's likely not going to be her name now anyway.

I know a Laila pronounced the same way if you want alternative spellings.

For what it’s worth, my sister had her heart set on Lily for her daughter all through her pregnancy, but when she was born just felt that it wasn’t her name. Baby ended up being a Molly after having no name for a few days. We all just accepted it and fell in love with the new name because it was her and she was here.

Equally, you might find that you keep coming back to Lyla when she’s born because it was important to you at the start.

Try not to let other people’s opinions cloud your judgement. So long as it feels right for you and your husband. Congratulations and wish you well.

Lila is possibly the most common spelling.

You can change your mind up until the deadline for the birth certificate.
Marnie and Bethany are also lovely.
Others ..

Mary Beth
Bridie
Lilou
Elspeth
Eliza
Lila Bethany

Its very common in pregnancy and as new mothers to get very anxious around the naming process. I think to an extent it is a deplacement activity, really you are anxious about the huge life change and the baby coming. But the fact they will use the name forever looms large in our minds.

Just don't worry! Say "we changed our minds!" It happens all the time, even months and months after birth. I think people will care a lot less than you think. All anyone cares about is what you finally decide on.

You will get people who will tell your their preferences to your name choices. As others have said just don't tell them, it's your decision.

You've not messed people around at all you are allowed to change your mind. You can even say when she was born you didn't feel the name suited her.

Your baby isn't going to know her name because you've been using it at this stage, it's good to practice using names to get a feel for it.

I had this from my siblings either my first - though it was just because they were so excited for us. I did have to tell them that them continuing to suggest names was putting me off the ones they were suggesting (all lovely names) and that at this rate she would end up being Baby for the rest of her life as they were making it harder for me to decide. They took it well and backed off the with lovely names and started suggesting horrible ones instead 😁