16-letter hyphenated last name?

[ai38]

Is it a bad idea to give my child a 16-letter double-barrelled (with hyphen) surname?

My DH and I have different last names and we both want to pass our heritage to DD. Both of our last names are non-English and mine is more difficult to pronounce for English-speakers. Initially we thought we can use my last name as DC's middle name but the more I think about it the more I dislike the idea as I feel relegating my last name to her middle name makes it invisible in practice.

My husband, all my children and I have a 16 letter double barrelled surname! I never even thought twice about it. Only counted the letters just now when I read this thread lol but yes it's 16!
Before I was married I had a double barrelled surname as my parents also did that. So have always had one. Never been an issue

Sixteen double-barrelled letters might be tricky for English speakers, and your dd will spend her life endlessly spelling it out phonetically.

But that matters far less than who her mum and dad are, and you two both passing on your heritage to your child. It's the best idea, not a bad one.

My kids have two surnames totalling 16 letters but no hyphen in it. Neither are British surnames originally and technically aren't hard to pronounce but even mine which is only 6 letters long and is said exactly as it is spelled baffles people somehow. However both my husband and I really like our names and the history behind them so there was never any question of us not giving our children both our surnames. My sister in law regrets not giving her son her surname too now as she feels she's lost a bit of a link to her heritage

The only issue I've had is I use thicker pens to write with and my handwriting is not neat so some forms that require me to fill in their names can get a bit crowded.

My first thought was ensure your DC have a short first name and no middle names as long names are difficult when travelling and I’ve seen people have problems as their name on their passport is too long for an airline ticket

My kids have an 18 letter double barrelled surname and it doesn't cause any issues. Sometimes when it's printed on boarding passes, the last few letters don't get printed but it hasn't delayed boarding or anything.

It's nothing to do with the length of the name

As a PP said the only thing I can think that might be an issue is official forms if their first name is quite long too

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences and the reassurance. We have chosen a short (5-letter) first name for DD and no middle name.

We have this and it's beautiful . Our children are older now and their names are like a story of their mixed heritage and they love it .. as do we . My MIL was not keen on the idea decades ago but I'm so glad I quietly stuck to my guns

I think it’s fine - she can drop one later if she wants.

A variety of names are much more common these days, including longer ones

Double barrelled surnames are ridiculous, but I see why people do it. It's very popular these days though, but is does make me wonder what happens when all these double barrelled kids grow up and start marrying each other and/or having kids, they'll have quadruple barrelled 32 letter names!

However, it's your life, your offspring, you do whatever you want. If it comes to a choice over one or the other I'd pick yours as the mother as the surname.

They'll just have to make a decision together which isn't too different from what couples do anyway and that's only if both happen to have hyphenated surnames.

Maybe they'll both keep their names and take one each for the child so Johnson-Brown and Smith-Roberts baby could be Brown-Roberts.

I don't think hyphenated surnames are ridiculous, I think it's ridiculous to expect one parent (usually the mother) to not have her surname be part of her baby's surname.

If they pick one of their surnames each then they will be choosing one of their parents names and ancestry over the other anyway, which is what their parents wanted to avoid.

I agree with you in regards to the tradition of normally going with the fathers surname. It's seems bizarrely outdated these days. I completely regret changing my name when I got married (very happily married though!) so much so I often seriously think about changing it back.

However, I still think double barrelled names are ridiculous, or rather a bit silly. Also a struggle to fit on forms, my children have 2 middle names and it's right faff squeezing them on to forms sometimes!

At that point though, it's their choice. If they only went with one last name, the same thing would happen anyway.

I kept my name when I got married and hyphenating DS's name was the only option that felt fair to both of us. Otherwise, one parent wouldn't have their last name as part of their child's name.

Surely in that case, 2 middle names are ridiculous too?

Someone will have to choose at some point, one parent, grandparent, ancestor will lose out at some point as people can't just keep double barrelling. Kinda just passing the buck. But we'll have to agree to disagreement.

2 middle names is a bit ridiculous to be fair! But they don't have to use them all the time.

What's the alternative though? Continuing with women missing out on having their surname as part of their child's surname?

Our child has both our names, double-barrelled. The name is a similar length. It's fine.

How many syllables will it be?

We all have a double barrelled surname, my husband and I both did it when we got married. Ours is 12 letters total but one of the names is hard to pronounce and always needs to be explained. People get it wrong 9 times out of 10 (it's the bit that was my husband's name and I admit I do use my maiden name part on its own when I can eg for booking tables, it's easier).
It's a bit incomplete but I still don't wish we'd done it any other way, we debated name options for months before getting married and this was the least bad option for us. Sounds like the same is true for you so you should go for it.
My daughter is 3 and she's started spelling out the tricky part of our surname every time she says her name! She can't spell in general she's just heard us do it so many times she's parroting us, it's very cute.
As pp said we make sure to use very easily spelled, short first names for our kids so they only have one name to explain. Sounds like you're doing the same.

@Fivepigeons I'm curious to know how you decided which part of your existing double barrelled name to go with for your kids?!

If it helps, my own surname (singular) has 14 letters and it's never been a problem...so two extra letters wouldn't be an issue
I'm sure. I also have an 8 letter first name, so together my two names have more than your proposed name. It's fine OP, and to honour your cultures is very important.

That's not the only alternative, it's about time the fathers started missing out too. My point is you can't keep double barrelling endlessly, you can only feasibly do it once for your own children which is great for you but after that someone has to choose a parent (or two) and a surname (or two) to carry on you can't keep adding names to please everyone. Someone will have to miss out at some point it doesn't work forever. Or I have heard of people who conjure up a brand new name, people create a single word surname that is a mixture of both.

I agree that double barrelling is passing the buck, and unwieldy. I had both parents’ surnames to start with, at some point my mother’s surname became a middle name, I don’t remember how or why but imagine it was just easier for everyone.

Overall I think the fairest system is toss a coin to choose. And whichever name “loses” the coin toss becomes a middle name so is not lost altogether.

The Spanish and Portuguese all seem to manage. There's a system for which name to drop with each generation.

I have seen some massively long Portuguese names!

I have a double barrelled, distinctively ethnic/religious name (both halves). It trips up some computer systems, but really it's not a terrible hassle.

If she gets married and takes on her husbands surname she will.lose the double barrelled name, but if you give her your surname as a middle name, you shouldn't feel relegated as she will have that for life.

My kids have that too. We went for first names that are straightforward to spell and pronounce in English, purely because we live in an English speaking country. Not by design, but they are als names with the same spelling in multiple European languages too. Day to day they go by thir first name, so no one thinks anything of it. I figured for job interviews etc, people will just address them with first names and at places like the doctors, you give the first three letters of the surname to be located.