16-letter hyphenated last name?

[ai38]

Is it a bad idea to give my child a 16-letter double-barrelled (with hyphen) surname?

My DH and I have different last names and we both want to pass our heritage to DD. Both of our last names are non-English and mine is more difficult to pronounce for English-speakers. Initially we thought we can use my last name as DC's middle name but the more I think about it the more I dislike the idea as I feel relegating my last name to her middle name makes it invisible in practice.

It's just buck passing for when the child becomes an adult and has their own kids and has to decide which parent they want to disappoint by dropping a name. Feels lazy. And phonetically spelling two names which are uncommon in their country is going to be a drag.

Pick the nicest or easiest name. They get their dna from their parents and the nurturing/shaping of them comes from the parents so a surname doesn't seem such a big deal. If it were 30 years ago I'd get understand the battle for surname visibility.

They shouldn't have to please everyone though, they should just do what pleases themselves. Including potentially dropping all names and creating a new one.

I love my surname and my surname is recognised professionally, there was no way I was giving it up. Not for my husband's name or a brand new name.

Maybe my DS will decide differently and that's absolutely fine. That will be up to him.

I wonder the same thing. It seems really cruel to make the child decide which one to drop - they will have to choose which parent to upset.

Hated it never fitted on forms, was still writing when others had finished and cringed every time my name was called.

I wouldn't be upset. It's their name and their choice and who is to say that they will drop one, it certainly isn't the only choice they have to make. Maybe they will drop both and create a new last name? Who knows.

My adult Dc have managed with 15 letters and a hyphen with no problems. One name is non European. Many at their school had similar length names from 2 parents with different heritage. V common in S London.

What was important to us was that our child was of us.

We are fully happy for our Dc to make whatever decisions they wish to make for their own family in whatever form it feels most right for them.

Calling people’s decisions silly or ridiculous just because they differ from yours is rude.

I saw my surname as mother way more meaningful that middle names for the sake of it. What on earth is the point of a middle name, taking up space in a form, never used?