Why am I so difficult with names?

[MajorIck]

Hi all. Due my first in November, a little girl.

Everything is ready to go - crib, car seat, clothes, etc. DH and I are literally prepared to have her tomorrow - except for the life of me, I cannot choose a name!

DH has some names he likes but isn’t sold on too, but it seems I’m the one struggling the most. It’s like every name is wrong to me, and I have this insane ability to attach a negative association with any name I hear. I’ve either known someone with the name, or it reminds me of something I don’t like. It would be a talent if it wasn’t so maddening!

Anyone else have this?

Well, if literally every name you’ve considered reminds you of someone or something you don’t like, that suggests to me that you’re not casting your net widely enough — there will be many thousands of possible names which won’t have any associations for you if you look hard enough.

What kinds of name have you considered? What is your DH suggesting?

Naming a child is a really really big decision so I think it’s normal to struggle to find the right one. Start by writing down names you don’t hate? And then hopefully you’ll get an idea what kind of name you’re looking for and go from there?

Do you want ideas? If so, what type of name do you like/dislike?

Sometimes, when the baby appears, the name will also.

To be honest- it stops being a big deal very quickly. I think it's something small and controllable you can focus on when everything else feels insane. It needs to be something which sounds OK with your last name, easy to spell, doesn't make anyone do a double take and which will work at all stages of life. You're not naming a baby-you're naming a teenager, a professional woman and an old lady. And it absolutely doesn't matter if there's someone else in her class with the same name! Kids tend to like this.

I think 2 issues are: 1) I like common names and 2) I went to an all girls school growing up so I associate a lot of names with then, and I did not enjoy school at all.

You've probably been considering the names that are currently popular.

What sort of names do you like? For example, do you prefer long, short, or medium length names? Do you prefer traditional (royal family type names), biblical/religious names, modern names, nature names, princessy names etc?
Do you want an unusual name or a fairly popular one, or one that's not too unusual or popular?

Do you have an unusual surname or one that might be a bit tricky with some first names? Do you or your relatives struggle with certain letters? (e.g. say R as W or TH as F)

Don't feel that you need to pick a name now, but have an idea of a few before November. Sometimes the baby appears and just doesn't look like the name chosen.

Is there a woman you admire whose name you could use? That might be a good starting point. I always knew my DD's second name would be Frances after my mum- so I needed a first name to go with that.

Names I have considered, however briefly, were:
Charlotte
Hallie
Sarah
Caroline
Poppy

DH’s suggestions:
Wren
Haley
Natalie
Maeve

He’s struggling just as much as I am tbh, and his list was delivered with a “these aren’t so bad” kind of outlook rather than a “I absolutely love these!” Tbh if he had one he absolutely loved, I’d happily go along with it for him, and for the peace of mind of knowing our child has a name 🙈

Of those, Caroline Wren. Lovely.

And, bizarrely-they are both uncommon names-but a few more baby Wrens than baby Carolines.

I want to have a baby so I can Calle her Caroline Wren.

I don’t think you have to ‘love’ the name right now - I think not disliking one is enough. Then, when your DD is born; you’ll grow to love the name because it is hers IYSWIM.

Maybe do a list each of 5 you don’t dislike and compare it with DH and go from there until you both find one you can live with.

I like: Charlotte, Sarah, Caroline, Natalie
They have a fairly similar vibe
I also like Poppy

I don't like Wren, Hallie, Haley, Maeve at all

So far, I'd go with Caroline nn Cally/Callie

Caroline is gorgeous! Underused classic

I like all your name choices. I'm less keen on Poppy because I think it suits an adult less.

We have chosen names for all our children after they were born. We had loooong lists of possible names but only chose after they arrived. I really struggled this time around and he was without a name for a week. Eventually chose something I disliked the least, but now we're using it I've really grown to love it. Now it belongs to him and not a 'hypothetical' child. Obviously your baby exists before then but you don't know who they look like or what their personality is.

I’ve just seen Elaina on a baby name list, which I think is quite nice. Hazel seems quite pretty too. Maybe even as a sibset if we had another daughter?

Why is this so hard? 😭😂

@MajorIck it's not hard. Caroline Wren. Sorted! 🤣

Haha! I’m so glad to have provided you with a name you seem to love 😂😂😂

You know what, I’m actually coming around to Caroline. Nice meaning, old fashioned without being “odd” or “ancient”. Lots of nickname options.

I’m also really starting to like Hazel, and think Caroline would fit well with that. Like Caroline, Hazel is old fashioned but still relatively popular.

Hmmm 🤔

Carolyn (nn Carrie)

Caroline and Hazel are both really pretty.

You dont have to decide on a name yet. DD was going to be Phillipa or Emily, but when she came out she looked like neither. Took us a week to find a name.

From your lists op I like:

Hazel
Charlotte
Sarah

Have you considered:

Eleni
Chloe
Eloise
Claudia
Lara
Nancy
Elizabeth
Paloma
Sophia
Leah
Ella

Or how about...
Isabella
Darcy
Lucinda
Cerys
Scarlett
Mila
Violet

Lucinda has really grown on me recently, and has good nn - Lucy, Cindy

How about Farrah? It's obviously very similar to Sarah but with a twist, yet still a classic name, although not used very often. I know two Farrah's, both lovely, so I just love the name.