Double barrelling our surnames - which order?

[Desupi]

Which sounds better?

Hedges - Perry
Perry - Hedges

Perry Hedges

I'd avoid Hedges second as it sounds like the cigarette brand...
But it does flow a bit better that way.

Agree with this. Or give the kid a break and pick one surname

Perry-Hedges

Hedges - Perry

Perry-Hedges

If your child then wants to marry A. Smith-Jones, what happens then? Do they become Mr & Mrs Hedges-Perry-Smith-Jones?

I think Perry-Hedges sounds better but although we double-barrelled and had the same decision to make, I wish I had done differently now. Double-barrelling only solves partiarchal naming conventions for one generation.

I wish I had pushed harder for a sustainable multi-generation alternative. Which would be to coin a new surname that goes with both and one of you be Perry-Desupi and the other be Hedges-Desupi and you give your children the solo surname Desupi which they can double-barrel with whoever they eventually marry. (Obviously replacing Desupi above with some combination of syllables that you both like)

Perry hedges.
Use both names. Don’t just let it be the father’s last name.

Perry-Hedges

Hedges-Perry seems to have more gravitas to me somehow if that matters.

No. They just decide which names to carry forward, like the sentient adults they are.

This is just a daft question.

In cultures that double barrel (millions of people all over the world - this is not a niche or novel practice), kids get one name from each parent. So, in your example, Hedges-Smith or Perry-Jones.

Alternatively, the kids can do as they like - give kids one person’s last name, make up a new one, mononyms might be a thing in 30 years. Who can say?

Hedges-Perry is easier to say.

It depends which first name you pick, but Perry Hedges is going to work better in most cases. Wouldn’t worry about the cigarette brand, it’s not going to mean a whole bunch to their peers.

If I had to choose I'd say perry-hedges but if I were being honest sometimes two names don't really work for double barrelling and I think this is one of those times. Neither sounds great and in this instance I would work to agree to using one over the other or coming up with a new surname.

Hedges-Perry

Interesting. I think they work extremely well together. Both ways.

Neither sound great. Go for Baby Perry, that's the nicer name.

I just picked one part of my double barrelled maiden name to double barrel my married surname with my husband’s. It was important that I didn’t lose my surname to me, my husband took my surname too and our kids have it too. I assume they’ll do whatever they like if they marry, and would actively encourage it.

I’d pick Hedges-Perry personally!

I like Hedges Perry, but they both sound totally fine imo.

As for the constant refrain of "what will they do when they marry", I'd like to point out:

Not everybody changes their name on marriage, it's a trend very much on the way out in many countries (and never even took off in some!) and I've always been puzzled by how persistent it is here in the UK. My mum never changed hers in the 70s, almost none of my friends growing up had a "family name", and I never even considered changing mine.

Going forward into the next generation is a bit trickier, but again I'd say:

Not your circus/monkeys, let them figure it out.

If it were up to me, I've always favoured a sort of more egalitarian twist on the Spanish system: so women would carry forward the matrilineal name, and men the patrilineal one. So practically for me it means my grandkids via my DD would have my surname with her future partners', and through my DSs would have my DH's names, with their future partners'. Confusing but also... simple? 😆

They don’t have to ‘work’, though. This isn’t an aesthetic choice, it’s just what the child’s parents’ surnames are. DH’s and mine don’t sound good together at all, but it’s just DS’s surname regardless. I’m not branding a company.

Perry Hedges, OP.

Why not pick a new family name? I think this is the solution going forward and I know a number of people who have done this.

I vote Hedges Perry

Perry-Hedges runs together better.

The "oh what to do if they marry" question is such a nonsense. They will choose a family name that might or might not include all elements of their current names.