Baby having a surname

[leearodgers]

Hi there, I’m currently 40 weeks + 2. No sign of this baby girl of mine yet 😅🤞.. however last night my partner brought up about our daughter having a last name.. he’s not fond of his family name (doesn’t get on much with the family) so doesn’t exactly want to carry on his last name and brought up to me that what if she just doesn’t have a last name at all… which at first I thought that he was crazy and you can’t possibly not give your child a last name. I told him she’s got to have a last name.. wether it’s mine or yours (I don’t like my last name and my son from my last relationship doesn’t have my last name and has his dads.. so I didn’t want her to have mine) also all before this chat last night, she was always going to have my partners last name. Reason last night saying she has mine or yours though I don’t want her to have mine is because it’s her identity and I thought can’t just possibly not give her a last name so If he doesn’t want it to be his then it’s mine. Now that I’ve slept on it.. I’m thinking maybe it’s a good idea and Ive come round to it more and I’ve thought about it all morning. Reason I’m thinking it might be a good idea is bc I have a son from a previous relationship and he has his dads last name.. we are engaged so if our daughter was to have his last name and we got married, all 3 of us would have the same last name but my son from previous last relationship wouldn’t have the same. Also to mention my son doesn’t see his dad at this moment in time due to safe guarding reasons and hasn’t for a year.. he was meant to put a court application through by July after being through medication but he hasn’t. So I don’t know what will happen with that side of things about seeing his dad (but he does see his dads immediate family) I wouldn’t want him to be left out and all 3 of us have same last name and he doesn’t.. and that’s what’s made me come around to the idea bc then at least it makes sense. However I still wouldn’t mind if our daughter had my partners last name. So my question is, is it possible to register the baby without a last name and even if so is this just a stupid idea?? Her name would be Arabella Lucíana for reference so Lucíana is meant to be her middle name but obviously would also be classed as her last name?

TIA x

You could make up a whole new name for yourselves and change your name and your partners last name to it aswell.

She needs a surname!

I don't think you HAVE to have a last name but it seems a bit weird to me when you both have one. You could make up a new last name for you all to use?

If you didn't give her a last name and then got married and took his name it would be a bit

Is there a historical family name you like? A mother or grandmother's maiden name perhaps? Or you could choose a place name?

Arabella Luciana Gloucester/Edinburgh/Carmarthen. Sounds quite regal

Of course she needs a surname.

Give her your name, have your partner change his name to yours if he doesn't like his, and try to get your son's name changed to yours too. Sorted.

Or if you really don't like your name, make up a new family name and give everyone that instead.

She needs a surname.

why not create a new last name for your family. Perhaps a combination of all three in your family. You and your partner can change yours via deedpoll / marriage.

Friends of mine joined their surnames to make a whole new surname. Think 2 single syllable names shoved together (not hyphenated). Sounds like it's always been their intended surname and not just an inherited one

namecombiner.com/

She needs a surname, even Madonna had one really.

You can’t not give her a surname! I know people who merged their names into a new surname which worked well.

Thank you all of you!! I agree, which is why I thought it was crazy when he first brought it up 😂.. it will be his surname or like suggested we will make a family name 🫶🏻

Give her your surname or pick a different one. You could use the 'middle name' as a surname. E.g. Olivia Grace/May/Rose, known as Ms O. Grace/May/Rose
You could pick a surname you just happen to like e.g. Balonz, Skywalker, Bell, Adams, Fielding, or your grandmother's maiden name or something

My neighbours are from a different culture to mine, and the children have the father's name as their surname. It doesn't seem to be an issue as the mother has the same surname.

You use someone in your family’s last name if you have a good relationship with/like them. Alternatively you could use someone in your family’s first name who you like or just any last name that you like.

Your baby has to have a surname but it doesn't need to be either of your surnames, legally speaking.

I know of an unmarried couple who had twins and gave one of the twins his mother's maiden name and the other twin her mother's maiden name, so all four of them have different surnames (even the twins).

I'd never heard of anything like this before and I expect there will be some downsides in terms of other people being confused and making mistakes or inaccurate assumptions about them as a family, but I expect they considered all those things first and decided they were OK with that.

What you could do is pick a new surname, either one from one or both of your family trees (if you go back far enough you may well find you both have ancestors with the same surname, assuming you don't have wildly different heritage), or you could just pick one you both like and both change your names to that. If your ex is cooperative you could add it to your son's name as a double barrelled name.

It would be totally unreasonable to not give a child a surname so another child doesn't feel left out, don't make such a fundamental part of her identity all about her brother, she is a person in her own right.

I would make up a family name, your son has the option of switching to that if he wants to or keeping his dad's name.

You could all choose a completely new surname that you like, and use it. There's nothing to stop you and your partner just adopting it through deed poll, and giving it to your daughter when she's born.

For your son, you would need to check with your ex (and your son himself) to see if there are any objections as a change in name is something that, potentially, could be prevented in court if your ex was opposed, and his school etc might query the name change on that basis. But you'll know yourself how your son will feel, and how your ex would react.

Everyone needs a surname. Even the royal family have them. It would cause issues with passports etc for her in the future.
If you don't give her one I asume her middle name will become her surname and you will still all have different names anyway.

She'll need a surname. It's demanded just about everywhere (school registers, medical records, banks, tax office, nursery etc.). I really can't think of anywhere which won't require it.

Use some of the suggestions here. They seem good to me.

Just choose a brand new surname, you and your partner can both change your name via deed poll.

I would make up a new surname for you all the use if neither of you want to use your own names (your son can change his surname once he's old enough if he doesn't want his dads).

Give her your last name and have your partner change his last name to yours.

I wouldn't make up a name, it complicated for no reason. I'd also look into changing your son's surname to yours.

of course she needs a surname. if he doesn't like his, use yours. Keep it simple for the kid's sake.

Another vote for go for a new name for all of you. She might not 'need' a surname but the world is set up for surnames.

I think your eldest needs permission to change his name from his father, but most schools and Drs will accept eg John smith known as Brown.

I worked with someone who didn't have a surname, so it is possible. Legally she just has a first name. For her passport it couldn't be left blank so they put X in the surname box.
That was a decision she made as an adult though. I can't remember if she legally changed her first name too, but she definitely removed a surname. It's a hell of a thing to do to a baby. A lifetime of having to explain the technicalities and then the question about what it says about you all as a family.

Legally adopt a new, made up surname you both like and put that down for the baby too.