Baby having a surname

[leearodgers]

Hi there, I’m currently 40 weeks + 2. No sign of this baby girl of mine yet 😅🤞.. however last night my partner brought up about our daughter having a last name.. he’s not fond of his family name (doesn’t get on much with the family) so doesn’t exactly want to carry on his last name and brought up to me that what if she just doesn’t have a last name at all… which at first I thought that he was crazy and you can’t possibly not give your child a last name. I told him she’s got to have a last name.. wether it’s mine or yours (I don’t like my last name and my son from my last relationship doesn’t have my last name and has his dads.. so I didn’t want her to have mine) also all before this chat last night, she was always going to have my partners last name. Reason last night saying she has mine or yours though I don’t want her to have mine is because it’s her identity and I thought can’t just possibly not give her a last name so If he doesn’t want it to be his then it’s mine. Now that I’ve slept on it.. I’m thinking maybe it’s a good idea and Ive come round to it more and I’ve thought about it all morning. Reason I’m thinking it might be a good idea is bc I have a son from a previous relationship and he has his dads last name.. we are engaged so if our daughter was to have his last name and we got married, all 3 of us would have the same last name but my son from previous last relationship wouldn’t have the same. Also to mention my son doesn’t see his dad at this moment in time due to safe guarding reasons and hasn’t for a year.. he was meant to put a court application through by July after being through medication but he hasn’t. So I don’t know what will happen with that side of things about seeing his dad (but he does see his dads immediate family) I wouldn’t want him to be left out and all 3 of us have same last name and he doesn’t.. and that’s what’s made me come around to the idea bc then at least it makes sense. However I still wouldn’t mind if our daughter had my partners last name. So my question is, is it possible to register the baby without a last name and even if so is this just a stupid idea?? Her name would be Arabella Lucíana for reference so Lucíana is meant to be her middle name but obviously would also be classed as her last name?

TIA x

Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain did this - they gave their daughter the surname Bean. It was something to do with taking a stance against the patriarchy.

Now she's grown up, the daughter has added Cobain to her name, so she's Frances Bean Cobain.

So they didn't do this! They gave her a surname, they just made it up

Not sure on legalities re surname in UK. Where I am you need one, and I have come across refugees that come from places where it’s traditionally one name only and so they have had to use it twice on legal paperwork here. Think name is just James, they then become James James.

My kids have a different surname to DH and myself (who have different surnames). We thought it would be nicer to have their ‘own’ name, so we made one with letters from our names. Kids love it and never been an issue that they have a different one to DH and I. They were certainly never confused who mum and dad were🤣. The only thing that matters to them is that they all share the same name. For some reason it’s important to them, not sure why. Will be interesting if DD ever marries, as DH and I would never say anything (although obviously would be disappointed internally), but I’m predicting any thought of a name change would be met with howls of outrage from siblings and it would likely be proactively raised with a ‘don’t you even think about it’ opening 😝.

You're not married! Give her your surname and when you're married and have decided on a new surname for you all you can change them all.

Be careful if you give your child a different surname to you OP, as when travelling abroad there's a distinct possibility that you'll be questioned at some passport control (I speak from indignant experience!) 😨 Took a lot of convincing and tears for the German guards to let me have my children back 🤣😱

Photograph their birth certificates and keep them on your phone. Problem solved.

Won't help as I have a different name to their name. I remarried and they have their dad's name. This is what causes the issue of having a different surname to the mothers.

I read about a man who changed his name by deed poll to Dave. No surname - just Dave.

Some computer systems couldn’t cope with this. For example, his bank had to input his name as Dave Dave.

Someone I know created a new surname when they had kids. I thought it was a little odd, but I didn’t know the reasons behind. It is quite a cool surname so I presume they just picked it.

@Zanatdy Someone I know created a new surname when they had kids. I thought it was a little odd, but I didn’t know the reasons behind. It is quite a cool surname so I presume they just picked it

Maybe we know each other? Our kids have a different surname to my surname and DH’s surname. It solved the problem of which surname, give them one unique to them. We used the letters from each surname to come up with a new one (which is very cool). Never been a problem and has never bothered our kids. They love their surname, as it is ‘theirs’. They own it, they rock it. All that matters to them is that they all share the same name. Plus, you can tell the people who have a clue, they will be standing there chatting for a bit and then go ‘I’ve got it, you used the letters of both names’ 😁.

Blows my mind when people say everyone has to have the same name to feel a family unit. I mean, if you need that to feel a family, all hope is pretty much lost.

Friends of mine have combined surnames when they had kids, or chosen a whole new surname for the whole family when they adopted siblings. DP and I went for the Spanish option of giving DD two surnames, but if neither you or your DP like your own surnames that probably isn't what you'd choose. In your case I'd choose a new family surname with connotations/history that work for all of you.