What if you like a name but not the nickname it usually gets?

[alrightbab]

Hi all,

Baby girl needs a name asap. We wanted Madeleine for a middle name but are stuck on her first name (see here: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/baby_names/4799593-help-only-10-days-to-name-baby-and-stuck-bethany-maybe-or). Beginning to wonder about using Madeleine as her actual name. But I really don’t like the nn Maddy. Also just realised it doesn’t flow well with our surname (too many T/D sounds).

Have/do nicknames put you off using a name? I know we can’t control what she’ll get called at school etc and might end up with a completely random nickname but if I don’t like Maddy should we just avoid the name as it’s such a common nn for Madeleine?

I had a similar dilemma and DD now has my favourite name in the middle. I just can’t stand the obvious shortening and didn’t want to take the risk of it sticking.

You just get the child to correct it when it's said. I know plenty of people who don't have nn

It's hard, I know a parent of a Joshua who is frequently annoyed at adults defaulting to Josh without seeming to think about! I think you do need to police it while they can't talk, then hope they feel the same way about the name when they can talk. I ended up not using one of my favourite names as I hated the common nickname.

Avoid it. There's loads of names and you'll find it impossible to police once the child is in school.

I had a couple of names like this. They became middle names. I only chose names where I also liked the derivatives.

Have/do nicknames put you off using a name? I know we can’t control what she’ll get called at school etc and might end up with a completely random nickname but if I don’t like Maddy should we just avoid the name as it’s such a common nn for Madeleine?

Yes. We had similar so used it as a middle name, and first name has no obvious shortening.

"You just get the child to correct it when it's said. I know plenty of people who don't have nn"
Up to the child, surely?

I still remember the poor child at my primary school who used to correct other children to her longer, posher, name. It was South London so it wasn't a fun thing for her to do. And she gave it up as soon as she could.

I hope Liz is really happy and has managed to stand up to her mum! It's really weird and controlling when parents won't let their children choose their own NN.

FWIW I love Maddy and Madeline.

You get to name the child, but the shortenings are beyond your control. If you can’t live with Maddy, I’d go with something else…

Surely you always call her the full name and she chooses what shortened version she is happy for friends to call her when she is older. This can almost happen with any name.

One of my favourite names is Isabelle/Isabella. Beautiful name.

But I couldn’t possibly have used it for our daughters because I hate the nickname Izzy. Such an ugly nickname.

I knew somewhere down the line someone was going to shorten it and the child would probably be okay with that, but I wouldn’t have, so it was an absolute no go for me.

Yes, I really liked Sebastian but can't stand any of the nicknames, especially Seb or Bas

My brother is Steven to everyone in the family and that’s how he introduces himself. Some of his friends from school and colleagues will call him Steve which we never have done. You call your child what you like and don’t concern yourself about anyone else. Children and friends can create a nickname out of anything. I went to school with a girl named Hayley who was called H and have a friend called Derek who everyone calls Sid because his initials are DIS, go figure. If you love Madeline you should use it and FWIW I used to work with a Madeline and nobody ever called her Maddy.

Avoid the name, what if the child likes the nn, you gonna police it forever? Not realistic.

I agree, if you dislike the obvious nickname then avoid the name. You can decide to introduce her as Madeline, but your DD may love the name Maddy and prefer to be called that.

I don't like the standard shortened name for my daughter and asked people not to use it. MIL shortened it further to a name that is worse.

All her friends call her the standard shortened name but she likes it so we just get on with it.

I still call her by her beautiful name.

Realistically, I'd choose the name. We put a lot of thought into names, and we want it to be perfect, but our children will get nicknames that we can't choose. Trying to guess how your child will be called for the rest of their life seems impossible.

The other thing I think about names - does it really matter. How much thought do you give to the names you see every day (the Marks, the Susans, the whatevers)?

I went off Eleanor as I don't like Ellie.

Ironically, the same child's nickname is now Elle. (L being the first letter off her name!). Which I like more than Ellie, but never considered her name could be shortened too!

DH and I seriously considered "Zachary" for both our sons, but neither of us wanted Zach/Zack/Zak. In the end, we decided that it was too likely that the nickname would be used, so we went with alternatives.

Don't use it.

Even shirt names will get lengthened...it's just the weird world we live in where Tom will get called Tommy and Thomas will get called Tom.

You can't control it. My parents avoided the "normal" nickname for my long name until I was 16 but now everyone calls me by it.

I agree - and whilst you can’t control a “random” NN like “Em” for a person with an “M” initial, if you hate the most common one, then it’s a bad choice.

I don’t like the many and obvious nicknames for my child's name and so we use the full name and so far nobody has tried to shorten it (still a toddler though so there's time).

My husband has a long name which has an obvious shortening, which he hates. If anyone uses it he politely but firmly corrects them to the long form.

If you really hate it then maybe don’t use it, but we can’t control what our kids are called. I had a nickname that was nothing to do with my first name!

The child might like Maddy.

Don’t risk it. She might prefer it. Her friends will definitely shorten her name to something. If not Maddy probably Mads!