What if you like a name but not the nickname it usually gets?

[alrightbab]

Hi all,

Baby girl needs a name asap. We wanted Madeleine for a middle name but are stuck on her first name (see here: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/baby_names/4799593-help-only-10-days-to-name-baby-and-stuck-bethany-maybe-or). Beginning to wonder about using Madeleine as her actual name. But I really don’t like the nn Maddy. Also just realised it doesn’t flow well with our surname (too many T/D sounds).

Have/do nicknames put you off using a name? I know we can’t control what she’ll get called at school etc and might end up with a completely random nickname but if I don’t like Maddy should we just avoid the name as it’s such a common nn for Madeleine?

I didnt use a Name because I didn’t like the nickname so I decided not to use it

Just correct it. I know 2 Victorias who are just that - no Vicky. VERY occasionally they might be called Vicky by someone new, but they correct them and that's that.

Also, see Alexandra Burke - no one ever refers to her as Alex. It's not inevitable.

That doesn’t work if the child likes the shortening.

My eldest's name was first shortened at school by one of her teachers when she was about 10. It was only a matter of time. Fortunately when we chose her name, we made sure that we liked the shortened version. But there's no way we could have prevented the inevitable, given that she liked the shortened version that all her friends used once the dam had broken.

My late DH always called her her full name, and she liked that he did. But no parent can police a name that others use and the child likes.

Avoid, you’ll forever be the uptight mum going “actually it’s William not Will” and your child will probably decide they like the shortened version you hate.

Keep it in the middle if you don’t like the typical nn as it’s inevitable when she gets to school really. From the previous thread I think Zoë Madeleine would be beautiful!

Well then it's up to them - it's the child's name. The initial post is talking about when the child is first born or young enough to not really have a say in their preferences.

I was reminded of this interview reading this

I have 2 children in their 20s with names that are commonly shortened theirs are not.

The argument there is though what if a child prefers the nick name. No one not even the parents can dictate what a child can and can't call themselves.

well, you tell everyone that they are Madeline, not Maddy/Mads etc. So at nursery they are Madeleine, at school they are madeline - then it sticks. Pretty simple?? I've got a long name and was always, always the full long name. Only shortened if I wanted to, so I have about three people who call me by the short name, and everyone else - the full thing (think like Elizabeth/Victoria/Catherine etc).
The reality is that all names can have a nickname/shortening, but you don't have to use them.

It doesn’t stick if the child doesn’t want it, though!

DBro was his full name until secondary school then went by a short of his choice. Mum still doesn’t like it and he’s 50!

Use it as a middle name.
Or you could use it anyway.

An acquaintance has a Samuel but they didn't like Sammy at all, and he was to be only called Samuel. After a few weeks he was Sammy. He's an adult now and still called Sammy by everyone.

I mean I have a Madeleine who is never Maddy, it just never fit her and we never named her thinking of nicknames. She hates being called Maddy anyway but nobody has ever tried to call her it.

That being said, keep in mind your child might like the name Maddy so probably best to avoid it

Please can I ask how old your Madeleine is?

I think we’re probably going to go for it. It’s such a lovely name 😊 and we’re struggling to agree on any other names. And we’ll just keep calling her the full name and accept if/when she gets a nn and if she loves being a Maddy!

She's 14 😊

My DS is called Andrew. He is known to all his broader family as Andrew and I never, ever let anyone call him Andy.

Fast forward to Andrew now being 23 and he introduces himself to everyone as Andy 😡 Drives me nuts but it's his name. He will always be Andrew to DH and I.

I have a 7 year old Madeleine-occasionally her teacher will shorten it to Maddie, but her friends and family never do. She has always been Madeleine and will introduce herself as such.

Yes I absolutely avoid names where I dislike the obvious and common shortened version.

I don't think I know any Madeleines who aren't Maddy so it would put me off, personally.

Also feel that way about Jamie, Beth, Jules and Ed.

Unless you or your child ok’s it, teachers shouldn’t shorten their pupil’s names.