11 years later..do the names hold

[lionsandwhales]

Interested to hear how people’s name choices feel long after D day? My ds are now 11 and 9 and I still love the names…sometimes fearful that a dreadful deed will be done by someone with same name ( e.g Boris)or that they become associated a meme😂, or the children in school find a terrible rhyme e.g billy and Willy . My ds are always referring to “Karen’s” ( basically to them any adult female who is stroppy). Until recently of my sons periodically asked to be known by another name (John) just because he liked it (rather disliking his given names). BTW both ds have pretty regular biblical names.

I have a 12yo DS and I still love his name

Not the point, but you need to stop your children using the term Karen.

It's not ok to denigrate women or to expect us (you too, presumably) to stay in our lane.

It's not funny and it's not clever. It's a lazy, misogynistic stereotype.

My boys were born in the 90s and their names have held up well. One's an enduring classic, the others have since become popular.

By the way, I called my boys out when I heard them use the sexist, ageist, misogynistic term 'Karen', and they don't use it now they understand. I've called out others too. Perhaps you could do the same with your boys. It's a disrespectful and unacceptable thing for them to be saying about women.

Cross posted with you @mathanxiety. Thanks for challenging this too.

Mine are 16 (twins) 17, 19 and 20. I still love their names and they seem to like them. They are very Welsh, so a couple of them use short forms in uni for ease of pronunciation etc, but I am happy with my choices.

Why do you let your kids use "Karen" in that way. Do you find it funny? I think you need to educate them.

The name I chose for DC was probably already a bit "unfashionable" it wasn't one of the trendy names at the time. But who cares I love it and hopefully by the time they are older people will realise its shit to make slurs out of a name.

I’d be more worried about their offensive views on women than their names.

So your son is a misogynist. You must be very proud.

I changed my name, OP, not because of stigma in the original I just found original cumbersome, in contrast I liked the alternative.

Most names can survive some famous stigma. I met a 9yr old Osama in 2004 & thought "hmmmm..." but of course it's a nice name, nice meaning, ordinary in Arab culture, just happened to be shared by a famous evil guy. Not the fault of 9yo Osama.

Stop the Karen nonsense fgs.

What are ‘right Helen’s’?

grow up

Disrespectful misogyny should be more of a concern,rather than liking their names 🙄

Absolutely this. I'm shocked you haven't realised how

... unacceptable the term Karen is

Thanks for replies on names, re :Karen Yes, aware that Karen term is unacceptable and have not said that I approve or encourage use of term. They ( they and secondary school peers) also use the term “Kevin” for a male equivalent. It is used when they recognise unacceptable adult behaviour and have a term for calling it out. They (to my knowledge) would never use this to a persons face, only in private reflective conversation with friends.
for example the lady working behind a counter who was very rude to son and friends for paying for something that cost £1 with £10 note. BTW it takes courage for them to go out independently after the the event (and within my earshot) they were talking to each other and putting into perspective whether or not they had done anything wrong ( e.g it’s all money, we don’t have credit cards) and why she spoke to them in that way, they also questioned if she would have spoken this way to an adult. It was not used misogynistically. If it had been a man they would have classed him a Kevin.

My lad has a Dutch name and surname but has lived in the uk all his life. When he was young he hated his name (it’s a simple 4 letter name) as people could never spell or pronounce it. Now he’s 20, he loves it, he gets told all the time that his name is cool and it makes him stand out on his dating apps!

Oldest (14) has gone by a different name for nearly a year now (gender identity reasons) that I think might stick even if the gender identity doesn't! It does suit them better than their given name I think, and is a nice classic gender-neutral name that I would have considered anyway myself. The given name was chosen as a 'not ubiquitous but not unsual either' name, as it has turned out to be so it aged OK. It's fairly 'of its time' but not obviously so (basically what you might call a 'grandma name')

Son's we still really like - he's known by a nickname version of his given name that's not common although we've come across one or two other boys with it but only from other Jewish families. He's occasionally hinted that he might use the full version of his name when he's older - I've never seen anyone with it in this day and age although it was a quite popular Jewish name in central Europe pre WWII.

@lionsandwhales I'm not sure that's any better tbh. How would they feel if their name was used as an insult over and over again.

BTW it takes courage for them to go out independently after the the event (
because someone was rude? another MNer wrapping the cotton wool round the delicate wee lambs.

They (to my knowledge) would never use this to a persons face, only in private reflective conversation with friends. and that doesn't make it ok either

DS went through a phase of saying he wished he was called Jordan as he thought it was cool, he has a more traditional name. DD is very happy with her name especially as she feels she ‘dodged a bullet’ with the other name we were considering 😂

Is opposite of cotton wool, they are starting to make own way in life, including going out and about without adults and are learning that some adults treat them in a way that is rude and judgemental and they have not experienced this before. They are working through these life experiences and trying to make sense of them. Including realising that adults don’t always behave appropriately. What words do you use to describe adults who upset you with unreasonable behaviour? Maybe I can share these (and btw saying that they were “unkind” or inappropriate doesn’t hit the spot nor adequately describe how they feel )