11 years later..do the names hold

[lionsandwhales]

Interested to hear how people’s name choices feel long after D day? My ds are now 11 and 9 and I still love the names…sometimes fearful that a dreadful deed will be done by someone with same name ( e.g Boris)or that they become associated a meme😂, or the children in school find a terrible rhyme e.g billy and Willy . My ds are always referring to “Karen’s” ( basically to them any adult female who is stroppy). Until recently of my sons periodically asked to be known by another name (John) just because he liked it (rather disliking his given names). BTW both ds have pretty regular biblical names.

I’d call them unkind or rude, not a name. I’d certainly not encourage calling names whether in “reflective conversation” whatever that is or not.

I wouldn't chose dd's name again.

It was very unusual in 1997. It's now in the top ten. I chose it because it was rare.

She loves her name though and in future I'm sure everyone will think she is a lot younger than she is as most with the same name are under 5 now.

Mine are 19 21 23 and 25. I still love their names. I wish dd1s name had not become so popular but I love her name and our reason for chosing it.

What words do you use to describe adults who upset you with unreasonable behaviour?

Is call them by their actual names Mrs Smith or Mr Jones. Not Karen or Kevin

Parents have to remember that they are naming a person for LIFE.
You should not be choosing a name for its coolness, trendiness or uniqueness if the fading of those (dubious and subjective) attributes bothers you. It never occurred to me to wonder if any of my (5) children's names still held up; and my oldest is 30.
Names come and go in and out of fashion, and may end up being 'of their time', but anyone with a fading name will still likely have peers with the same name, so it won't be remarkable.

And OP, get your DC to quit with the Karen and Kevin crap.

That’s a lot of nonsense trying to defend if not misogynist (it is) behaviour then definitely ageist behaviour by young people who need to be told to do better.

I think OP you're being a hypocrite by banging on about your sensitive wee souls grappling through life and learning (shock) ppl can be rude when they themselves use rude and offensive language, they're 9 &11 not 3.

It was not used misogynistically. If it had been a man they would have classed him a Kevin.

Ah, so if you're an equal opportunity lazy stereotyper then that's ok.

How about making a principled stand here? Lazy stereotyping is unacceptable.

So you think it’s okay for your son to use misogynistic language in the privacy of his own home and in private with his friends, but not in public where people might hear him? Slow clap for your parenting.

Oh, well that's OK then🙄They need to improve their vocabulary and call people out for what they are, and not use adults names as an insult. How would they feel if their names were used for badly behaved brats?

they would feel bad about it, one of the reasons for my OP. I have discussed with DSs and friends , including their interpretation on the meaning and use of Kevin and Karen, what other terms would encompass their interpretation of a Kevin or Karen, why Karen and Kevin would be insulted by this. They were surprised to learn that it wasn’t just their school peers that use this term and didn’t know of its wider inappropriate use. However it has stuck and I can’t force 300+ kids to unstick I can only influence my own.

Except they are not using it in a misogynistic way. Hence use of Kevin or Karen for any adult behaving badly. Yes, it’s my job to explain to them and yes I have done so, no I don’t condone inappropriate behaviour. The comment about them using the term in private was in (poor) attempt to get across that they don’t shout Kevin and Karen in people’s faces. They are not ferral, just kids growing up, picking up on what they hear around them and sometimes getting things wrong.

see when you say get rid of the “crap” you are using an all encompassing term in the same way that they are using Kevin and Karen. But I get your drift..

Using “crap” is nothing like using Kevin or Karen. You really really don’t get it. Even if you can’t influence 300 kids then you can influence 2 at least.

'Karen' is innately misogynistic. It can't be anything else. It's a deeply derogatory term for a woman.

It doesn't matter whether it's used quietly or in private, any more than other derogatory terms wouldn't be racist or ableist, or whatever as long as nobody else heard you using them. You don't get to claim derogatory terms for black people are not racist if they're only used quietly in the privacy of your own home, or among your friends, or because someone rolled their eyes when you tried to pay using a large note.

'Kevin' doesn't balance it out.

I don't see how calling out insulting language by calling it 'crap' is remotely like using a name to describe or denigrate a person or group of people.
It isn't.

I think it's better to say "yeah, sorry, I will talk to them about using the word Karen" than trying to justify it.
I know quite a lot of people who use it and they do mean it misogynistically, so it will look like your DSs mean it that way as well.
My kids have relatively common names, unlikely to become super fashionable, but also unlikely to be ruined by one bad egg of the same name. So I am still happy 11 years on.

Totally agree that the commonly known original intended use of the term Karen is misogynist, the kids just weren’t using it in that way. Not saying it is ok, not justifying it. Have explained how this came about and how it was dealt with. Just as would happen they were overheard incorrectly or intentionally using racist or other unacceptable discriminatory terms. Children hear and use terms that they don’t understand, or don’t understand the impact of doesn’t make it right and of course if aware, we deal with it.

Totally agree that the commonly known original intended use of the term Karen is misogynist, the kids just weren’t using it in that way. Not saying it is ok, not justifying it. Have explained how this came about and how it was dealt with. Just as would happen they were overheard incorrectly or intentionally using racist or other unacceptable discriminatory terms. Children hear and use terms that they don’t understand, or don’t understand the impact of doesn’t make it right and of course if aware, we deal with it.

If they used a racist term "not in a racist way" would that be ok with you.

Educate your kids they are the future.

It appears though until this thread you had no issue with them using it. I wonder what else you feel is ok. I can imagine they will grow up to be one of the “men” on a LTB thread unless you educate them.