Do you hear Iris and assume rainbow baby?

[LavenderIsNeitherBlueNorGreenDillyDilly]

I’ve name changed as I’m mentioning DD’s name.

Our daughter is named Iris.

She was born after years of fertility struggles/ treatment but not losses so is not a ‘rainbow baby’ as I understand the term.

Her name has a particular meaning for us - but not that one, and if we associated with anything it was the flower rather than the rainbow.

I know this seems like a weird question but since having her the ‘rainbow baby’ link has been brought up to me quite a few times - by a friend who told me she’s only ever come across two others but they were in the rainbow baby group she attends with her daughter. Another time at a class I met another mum who had an Iris and we sort of smiled ‘great name haha’ at each other before she asked me ‘is yours a rainbow too?’ Another friend I met at baby group has since told me she did wonder if we had been through a loss (as she did herself) and that’s why we chose the name. It’s also come up in an online group I’m in.

I just feel a bit uncomfortable that people might assume that when it’s not the case - partly because I don’t want to appear to be claiming something I’m not, and also because it seems unfair to DD somehow.

In all cases the people who mentioned it had experienced loss themselves so perhaps more aware of the term/ connection. And of course the vast majority of people just say ‘lovely name’ or make no comment at all so I’m not saying it’s all the time or anything. I just wondered if it was something people generally assumed or at least wondered when they hear of a baby Iris, or if I’m way overthinking it.

We could be the same person. My Nan was Iris and daughter has it as her middle name.

I've never once thought rainbow baby.

No never heard of the name being associated with a rainbow baby

Iris is my rainbow baby but I picked her name as it was unusual... I've never thought of the association before.... Just was really glad to have a healthy Iris😍

My DD has the middle name Iris but she was a lockdown baby so it’s in association with all the rainbows at that time rather than anything to do with rainbow babies. (Plus it’s just one of my favourite names!) I’ve heard a few babies of her age called Iris or as a middle name so I think a few people had the same idea!

I completely agree with you, but I don’t think Iris is a God with whom people have a passing familiarity.

She’s not Zeus or Aphrodite for example.

I love the name Iris, so pretty but elegant.
But would have never made that association, and I’m in a few of those groups myself.
I associate it randomly with butterflies and fairies, because a book I read as a child about butterfly fairies at the bottom of the garden had a little girl called Iris in it.

Because plenty of people in England have interests a bit broader than yours seem to be.

Plenty of people know and care about things outside of their own culture and language.

That's why.

Why are you making such a fuss about it?

It makes me think of eyes!
Absolutely no connotations to rainbow babies though!

Exactly! Some people are so ignorant!

I wouldn't assume rainbow baby although I'm aware of the link so might wonder. I'd never ask though.

Losses are common, and all the rainbow babies I know are NOT called Iris, so I don't assume all Irises are rainbow babies or vice versa.

I mostly assume people just chose names they like the sound of.

It wouldn’t even cross my mind, but I’ve never heard of it being a “rainbow baby” name and I don’t know what the connection is.

even if I did make a connection I would like to think I would never actually ask you upfront if that’s what the name meant!

Wouldn't cross my mind. It's a lovely name. Also went to Goo Goo Dolls first.
People say stupid things

The whole concept of a rainbow baby is awful IMO. I wouldn't have had a clue that there were links to the name Iris but to forever link a baby to the loss of another child is a horrible thing to do. I speak as someone who has had miscarriages in the past and I'm not trying to be insensitive.

I think of the flower and/or Iris Murdoch. I think it's a beautiful name.

My mum was what would nowadays be called a rainbow baby, and her name was Elizabeth. So that's probably the first name I'd think of it someone asked for a suggestion for a rainbow baby (well, if it was a girl anyway).

No

No I've never even heard of this op

I wouldn't as I can't see any connections between Iris and rainbows.

No.

I don't know what a rainbow baby is. I think of the goo goo dolls song.
It's a lovely name.

No. I think of Iris Murdoch.

Not at all, that wouldn’t occur to me.

Not at all.

Excellent comment, @ArtVandalay

Just realised that I had the meaning of rainbow baby wrong. I thought it referred to the baby that had died, as you often reference to pets going over the rainbow bridge. Apparently not, it refers to the baby born after the deceased one.

Never heard of the link before, and if you love the name, use it.

No