Surname

[CityBlue37]

My partner and I are not married (engaged 3years). We are having our first baby in 3 months and I'm really unsure whose surname the baby should have?
I don't like the idea of our baby having a different surname to me and we will get married within the next couple of years in which case we can change her name then but am I being selfish and over complicating things and should I just go with his surname?
Any thoughts?

We went with DH (then darling fiancé) surname. No regrets.

It depends how much you care about it in all honesty. Personally, I've never liked one half of my double barrelled surname anyway (bullied my whole life for it eventhough it's a traditional Irish surname). And then since as its double barrelled if we were going to use both mine and my ex partner's surnames she would of ended up with a triple barrelled surname😅 so I just gave her his.

And then for my 2nd and 3rd born I'm engaged to their dad and due to get married 2024, and both have his surname. But it's even funnier with him because his surname is also double barrelled, so if we had given the children both our names they'd of ended up with 4 surnames😂 which just sounds mad! Imagine trying to write that on a form!

Absolutely your surname.

You re-register the child as a child of the marriage.

Question to those who say it is easy to change the name: does it cause issues in future? I read that, if you change a name by deed poll, you then have to have another piece of paper to go with your birth certificate when proving your identity. Not a major issue I am sure, but still, just wondering if there are any complications? (We have a surname debate here too.)

your surname. You know you don’t have to change yours either

Yes I was wondering this too

According to a friend she had to pay a load of money to get the surname changed. It wasn't easy at all if I recall.

Everyone someone does a background check on you, you have to tell them you have changed your name. Most cases you just tell them but in some cases they want to see your deed poll letter.

According to the passport office some name changes are minor e.g. omitting a middle name, but changing a first or last name is a major name change. For a major name change you need a deed poll letter or other evidence that you gone by this name for years. (I had issues with the passport office this summer over my name, even though my partner changed his by deed poll so looked up their rules.) In the UK you can go by any name you like as long as you don't intend to deceive people and it isn't offensive.

Ideally with a child you want to change their name before they become a teen and get exam/degree certificates, as their exam/degree certificates now can only be done using their "official" name. (One of my family members goes by a middle name but has been told their names have to be the same as official documentation.) I have friends who changed their last name in their teens to their step-father's last name without a deed poll being done and so have exam/degree certificates done in that name before this rule came in.

You are supposed to re register baby birth certificate after marriage anyway. Change name then, its easy, we did it with DD

A deed poll letter for an adult is free in England and Wales. You just need to get two witnesses who don't live in your household to countersign your official declaration of your name change.

The cost is changing your passport and then driving license to this name, then contacting other organisations e.g. your bank, utility companies and getting them to change your name.

(I was going to do a deed poll letter because the Passport Office weren't following their own rules about minor name changes. I wouldn't have needed to change my passport, driving license, etc as I have been using my name as is since I was 16.)

For a child if the reason isn't due to the marriage of their parents it is more convoluted and costly.

Many thanks, @Reugny

You get a form to fill in when you get married and it basically re-registers the baby’s birth as a child of the marriage. You can easily change the surname st that point and it’s different to an adults deed poll change.

OP, the baby will automatically have your name at birth, their hospital bracelets will be put as ‘Baby girl / boy CityBlue’ as will their hospital records and red book which details their vaccinations and weighing etc.

babies always have their mothers surname but that is “traditionally” the fathers too as unwed mothers weren’t common and women almost always changed their surname.

if i we’re you I’d keep as either just your surname as baby will have at birth or add his on the end as extra surname but without the hyphen.
this makes it two surnames and easy to drop one, a hyphen makes it one surname.