Calling baby masculine form of my own name?

[Purpletopaz42]

So I have a name, which has a masculine and feminine form so for example Henry and Henrietta. Well my grandad was called Henry, I am named Henrietta after him but I'm pregnant with a boy and I'd like to call him Henry, after my grandad, who has since passed but I don't know if people will just think I've named the baby after myself or if it will get confusing, thoughts? Thank you

It’s a sweet idea but for me (just my opinion) it would come off as narcissistic. You’re not going to get to tell everyone the lovely Grandpa backstory, you’re going to be chatting to a new mum friend at the playground and then calling your DC, just embarrassing in that context.

My dear, dear, extremely self-oriented friend proposed doing this (Lucy/Luca) and it was honestly for mini-me/ my little clone reasons, bleurgh.

Would you use it as a middle name and let your child have their own identity separate from yours?

I think that sounds really sweet! I'd probably think it was a family name and I think that's a lovely idea to do, what a nice thing to do having a family name to be passed down another generation 😊

I have a similar combination and did exactly that (for different reasons) and no one batted an eyelid. Do what’s right for you.

Children are often named after their Dad and no one bats an eyelid so the same rules applies here. Name your baby what you want, love. You’ll never please everyone anyway so as long as you and your DH are happy with your choice then crack on

Depending on the name, I don’t think with sound as weird in reality as it sounds initially. Unless you’re Nigella Lawson.

I don’t really think of John/Joanna, Micaela/ Michael as the same. If the accepted nickname is the same is might be weirder eg. Joseph/ Josephine. Then again Samantha and Samuel seem totally different to me 😂

It’s an odd one. I wouldn’t thin a Joanna had named her son John after herself, that’s for sure.

You can’t know what people who you don’t have a close relationship thought in passing. I’m sure some people did find it odd or unusual or even narcissistic, they just might not have told you that as it would be quite rude.

OP - This is something I would avoid. The purpose of a name at its core is to identify them, and a (gender swapped) duplication complicates that. It also may limit what diminutives they feel they can use when they are older. Further to that I think there is a certain pressure when named after someone, to live up to their memory, and it can stop kids feeling like their own person with ownership of their own name.

People will hear your childs name and use that piece of information to make assumptions, you can’t control or stop that. You have to decide if you are comfortable with some people assuming you names your child after yourself.

Is it a nice name? My dgm had a name she herself hated and used her middle name. Her original name is popular now!! I never used either as imo they were both awful!

I agree. I went to school with a boy and girl, Alexandra and Alexander, their Dad's name was Alex, they both ended up being called Alex. No one said it to their faces but we all thought it was weird as fuck. It also made calling their house phone a nightmare.... Can I speak to Alex? Which Alex? Boy Alex. Dad Alex or son Alex?

I have a name with a masculine and feminine form and named my son after the masculine form.

Absolutely no one cares. Those who have asked or made the connection have all thought it sweet.

And the terms narcissism and narcisstic are misused to the point of ridiculous this last few years. Nothing narcissistic about it at all. Men do it all the bloody time.

Families I know who have a family name alternate generations - so everyone is Henry + middle name but alternate generations us the middle name

No one cares but they will be talking about you behind your back

And the terms narcissism and narcisstic are misused to the point of ridiculous this last few years. Nothing narcissistic about it at all. Men do it all the bloody time.

narcissistic - having or showing an excessive interest in or admiration of oneself

this is what I think when people name kids after themselves, to be clear, that is whether it is a man or woman doing it. you may have a different opinion, but this is my instant reaction.

Without hearing your reasoning (which I expect most people won't) it'll just come across as narcissistic, like Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith did with their kids (Jadan and Willow)

The more people you have with the same initial living at the same address, the more confusing it is when you get a confidential bank/legal letter addressed to "J Smith." (Same with siblings sharing an initial.) Although by the time your DC is an adult there might not be any physical letters any more!

If it helps, I find it odd when any parent names a baby after themselves instead of giving the child their own name. I think that's a fairly widely held view in the UK, where we don't have a strong culture of Ulysses Wilberforce IV et al.

I'd assume if someone named a child a variant on their name, they did it after themselves and were a bit odd or conceited or unimaginative. To all the posters who say that no-one batted an eyelid, or people think it's sweet, just because that's what they say, it doesn't follow that they meant it. I might well say 'oh Henry, like Henrietta? That's sweet that you match', while privately thinking it was a very strange choice. Most people just have the sense of presence not to say every thought which comes into their head.

I like it. Men have handed down their own names for centuries why can't we do similar?

I like a longer version of my own name for a girl though 😂

Men do it all the fucking time and no one calls them narcissists. Do it op.

I wouldn’t do it. Use it as a middle name if you want to honour your grandfather. I personally think it’s weird when parents give their children the same or similar names as them. It makes me think they don’t see their child as an individual.

@toastofthetown on the contrary loads of families have names that get passed down.

My partners family has passed down the same male name for yonks. My own father and uncle are named the same as my brothers and their own father and uncle etc. always Jack and John (not the real names) down multiple generations.

My friend has the same name as his dad and his dad.

Loads of families do it. Only when a woman dares to think of 'narcissistically' giving a modified version of her name to the child she literally grew and birthed is it seen as uppity.

Strewth.

Why are you bothered what others think about your perfectly normal name ? You are over thinking this. Just use the name.

No they won't. Because in my world it's as normal as daylight in summer to have a son named after their father or grandfather or a daughter named after her nan or mum. Or a child called 'junior' because his name is the same as their father's.

It's in only in todays weird purity politics that it is now seen as narcissistic which again is a term greatly misused and thrown around like confetti, usually by people with small imaginations.

you must run in very different circles to me, because I have never met a parent & child combo in real life with the same name or gender swapped name. Middle names I have plenty of times, I do myself, but not first names. I really don't think it's really as common as you seem to think it is.

And, again, I find it narcissistic whether it's a woman or man - I don't think Will Smith is any less conceited than Jayda Smith. Perhaps I have that impression because from what I have seen these people often prove themselves to actually be very narcissistic (e.g. Donald Trump) and I don't have a real-life Henry Sr and Henry Jr who have challenged my opinion. OP wanted to know what people will think so she can make a choice knowing the unsaid assumptions that will be made about her family, whether they are unfounded or not, and this is what some people will think.

At least their small imaginations allow them to generate individual names for their children.

I think it is fine in principle as long as the popular shortened form of the names is not the same

If you are both going to end up being Sam, Alex or Jo then it will cause confusion but otherwise most people probably won't even notice

IRL people are not as obsessed with names as on MN!

Honestly I would but I've also used a family name so it doesn't bother me what people think. The way I see it isn't it wonderful that you had such a fabulous grandad that you want to name your baby after him. I know your own name is similar but again I think you should go for it. If it was what you initially wanted then stick with it.