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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Parents hate name choice

105 replies

Merrow · 05/12/2022 18:09

DP and I have finally settled on a name for DS2, Innes. My parents vocally dislike it and keep suggesting alternatives. Yes, we should just have kept silent on names, but we didn't. There's no real point to this post, it's just getting me down! I don't really want to keep on searching for another name, but it also doesn't feel that nice that people already dislike his name.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

User38899953 · 05/12/2022 21:46

My opinion is irrelevant, but I love the name! Ignore your parents !

Brandybucks · 05/12/2022 21:47

Sometimes grandparents have a point (I knew of a boy named Dickie…middle name Edward…Dick Ed for heavens sake) but in this case I think it’s a nice traditional Scottish name and you should go with it if you love it!

CrazyBiscuits · 05/12/2022 21:56

At least you're prepared for their reaction. My dm didn't tell me that she didn't particularly like my choice of name however when my friend had a dc years later and I told her the name she said that it was a lovely name. She also said that anytime I mentioned him in a conversation just to press the point. I don't actually like the name so I'd never had used it anyway.

Your parents had their choice of naming you. Its now your choice, not theirs. If its going to bother you that much then decide on another name and don't tell them until dc is born. Or stick to it and they'll just have to lump it.

I'm not going to give me opinion as its nothing to do with me as its your child. It doesn't matter what I think. It just matters what you think.

nothingmuchaboutjerry · 05/12/2022 21:59

Only Innes I know is female and from Portugal. The name I chose for DD2 wasn't a "family favourite" but it's your child and your choice, don't be pressurised.

Crispynoodle · 05/12/2022 22:02

Love it my DSIL is called Inace the feminine version

pumpkinpink · 05/12/2022 22:06

My parents in law said they hated our name choice when we were banding a few different names about. We still used it, for a while they insisted on only using the full version saying the short version is silly, but now they use her shortened name and it's all forgotten.
I also have a close family member who named their baby something very surprising, we were all a bit taken aback but now the child is just so their name and we can't imagine them being called anything else.
Innes is really a very beautiful name.

Managinggenzoclock · 05/12/2022 22:09

There nothing offensive or outlandish about it so can’t see it’s any of their business. For a very close family member if it was really bad I might say something but your choice is clearly not in that category. Ignore them.

Ittybittytittycomittee · 05/12/2022 22:11

I initially thought it was a lovely name, for a girl. I'm not sure for a boy as Ive only ever heard it for a girl.

Original poster

Merrow · 05/12/2022 22:15

Thank you. I did tell them I wasn't discussing names again after it was brought up unprompted, and standing my ground is unusual enough that nothing more was said! I expect they think that we're still thinking things over, but we won't bring up names again until he's actually here. It just got to me a bit.

I'm not particularly worried about the Innes / Inez point. They're pronounced differently so there won't be any confusion when they're spoken aloud, and out of all the Scottish names we could have gone for it certainly isn't the most perplexing to go from the written word to the correct sound! I'm expecting a lot of "rhymes with Guinness". Menzies I can see is a real struggle.

OP posts:

TeenyTomTilly · 05/12/2022 22:20

Isn't that what Blake Lively and Ryan Reynold's called one of their daughters and Taylor Swift sang about in one of her songs?

I thought it was a girl's name...

TeenyTomTilly · 05/12/2022 22:21

Sorry didn't realise it was a Scottish male name. Stick to your guns and go with a name you love.

WineAndDontDine · 05/12/2022 22:22

Choconut · 05/12/2022 18:40

I also thought it was a girls name, but maybe that is because the only person I knew that was called it was on MAFS Australia and was female.

Oh god she was an interesting character

DarkShade · 05/12/2022 22:25

It's a beautiful name, and if you're all scottish they can't even plead ignorance about whether it's a name or not! Honestly unless it's a name that is actually offensive or that they are genuinely concerned would create problems in adulthood, the only appopriate response to someone else telling you their baby's name is to slap on a smile and say oh how lovely. They are being dicks, and should understand that they have no say in it. The important thing is that YOU love it, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. They'd had their chance, as you say.

jackstini · 05/12/2022 22:28

It's a great name! (My Dad's side of the family are all Scottish)

I think if you say 'rhymes with Guinness' people will remember how to pronounce it

Have you chosen a middle name or is he taking your maiden one? (a big Scottish tradition in our family!)

Flowersinspringgrowwild · 05/12/2022 22:33

Beauitful name.

CanYouFeelMyHeart · 05/12/2022 22:39

Sopharsogood · 05/12/2022 21:16

Sorry, sounds like Anus. Kid will be bullied.

My 14 year old Innes has never had this said to him. Don't be daft.

Pallisers · 05/12/2022 22:40

I never heard of it before now. It is lovely. Lovely meaning too.

CheesesandWines · 05/12/2022 22:40

Tbf it's not a nice name but it's not up to them to decide !

DarkShade · 05/12/2022 22:51

OP you have sent me down a scottish boys name rabbit hole... I wonder if it's too late to reconsider that second DC and get myself the Struan or Kester I've always wanted.....

Hugasauras · 05/12/2022 23:17

Ha, yes I remember explaining to my English husband how Menzies is pronounced! He was baffled Even he can handle Innes!

crowsfeet57 · 05/12/2022 23:56

Four years ago, I was horrified when DD and DSIL told us the name they had chosen for their unborn son. It was one of just two boy's names I absolutely loathed. To this day they have no idea that I disliked the name and as for me I find I don't mind it at all now that it's the name of my gorgeous grandson.

You call your baby what you like. Your parents have no business trying to impose their wishes on you.

midsomermurderess · 06/12/2022 13:50

it’s a not uncommon Scottish boy’s name. Stick to your guns. After all, they’ve had their go at names.

KirstenBlest · 06/12/2022 13:50

It doesn't sound like Anus.
It sounds like Guinness without the G

DeeCeeCherry · 06/12/2022 13:58

Tell them you hated the name they gave you too, but you've had to live with it.

It didn't even occur to me to discuss DC names with my parents, we just gave the names we'd chosen and that was it.

You should be happy and certain with the name that you've chosen, not need to discuss with your parents and then go on to discuss with a bunch of strangers. Too dithery.

LadyDanburysHat · 06/12/2022 14:06

Love the name Innes, it's a good strong Scottish name, great choice. Stick to your guns.

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