Comments about names that you just don’t get

[jrt2022]

On mumsnet, I always see the same comments repeated about certain names, and while some I get, others I just can’t get my head around at all! For example:

On every thread asking about Lydia, someone mentioned ‘Lydia dustbin’. Lydia dustbin??? As in … lid of your dustbin, I assume but … WHY? Firstly - what about the lid of my dustbin? Also, loads of things have lids, so why only ‘lid of your dustbin’ in particular? Why not ‘lid of your jam jar’ or something. And even then - what about it? What is funny or interesting or bad about it? I just don’t get it.

There are loads of others but I don’t want to list them as I want to see what others think rather than just rant on about my own! So, any regularly thrown out comments to dismiss names that you think are weird/don’t make sense?

I'm so old that Arthur seems to be a cat's name.
I'm regretting calling my DC Felix, Cleo and Sheba

Thing is, the cat comment might influence more cat comments to the point that it appears that everyone thinks of cats (and cares about that). That can distort the reality, which may be that many people don’t think of cats and, of those that do, many don’t really think it’s a problem.

But MN is full of people posting ‘cats!’.

if you want neutral data, asking on here (or any name board) isn’t going to deliver it!

@Wouldloveanother , how do you know what they think?

There’s no research papers on popular associations regarding the name Felix as far as I’m aware.

Who?

How it is the worst thing for your child to have a rare name that might be difficult for others to pronounce or spell. I have a name like this and it has added no hardship to my life. I enjoy having a unique name and no one ever forgets my name.

I think you’re right. with an added bit of aspirational angst.

I used to teach at one of those universities full of ex-public school students. Their parents gave them all kinds of names that would be viewed as problematic on MN. They probably weren’t feeling anxious about their children’s prospects, so they didn’t feel it mattered whether the name passed a ‘high court judge test’. They probably get confident that their magic circle connections were a more effective way of facilitating a career in the judiciary than calling them after a king.

Just for balance I just shouted to DH ‘If I said the name Felix, what’s the first thing that comes into your head?’ (I’m pregnant so he didn’t see this as odd or ask why)
DH: The Romans.
Me: Not cats?
DH: No! Felix was a Roman Emperor

It might be skewed by the fact DH is very into
roman history but 🤷🏼‍♀️

It's subtle snobbery. Any name that isn't an already established "middle class" name gets looked down on, it's a very obvious pattern.

No. Because it doesn’t matter. Why bother?

Baby Felix would be a person, and a whole set of other factors would affect how people view him throughout his life.

@Wouldloveanother , you tell me.

They think a name genuinely gives their child a higher chance of getting a prestigious job.
'blah blah blah middle class angst.'
I'm middle class and can't help it. The shame is enormous. Unfortunately, MN wasn't around when I named DC.

People who say a diminutive is a nickname

Can we stop the cattiness now please.

Sorry DH wants to clarify Felix wasn’t an Emperor but a legion, please can I actually listen next time 😂

I’m middle class too. But I didn’t factor this in when picking my kids name. I just chose something I liked. Some of them are painfully self conscious eg Cosmo, Etienne, Clementine.

Of course. But when you post on here, people are judging the name alone. Don’t take it out on me!

I’m middle class too.

The issue is the angst and the ineffective solution on which it becomes fixated. It’s not being middle class.

It’s one of those classic concentrating on something you can easily do, and kidding yourself that it actually affects the outcome in any meaningful way, things. But, actually, it doesn’t really matter very much.

I work for a company where I spend my days talking to people with a whole range of the kinds of Irish names people insist will hold people back. And an equal number of people with Indian names. These people hold all sorts of well paid, professional jobs. The important thing isn’t whether they’re called Aiobhe or Sarah or Raj.

I used to work at an expensive boarding school. The genuinely rich and famous families had children called Lily, Louisa, Sarah, Thomas, etc.

Then we had the aspirational MC who called their children names like Montague, Olympia, Tsarina and Ptolemy.

No giving your child an Irish name unless you can guarantee they'll never set foot off the island.
Bizarre.

Sorry, BlueChampagne - that is me :( But I only do it with one name, and she REALLY was a bitch! I fully appreciate that not everyone with the same name will have the same personality / psychotic traits, but every time I meet one I am very wary. I completely accept that I am being VVU (very, very unreasonable) in that!

You beat me to it!

They are two very different things. Drives me nuts.

@Wouldloveanother , we just picked names we liked. Didn't really think about it.
They were/are fairly ordinary classic names and turned out to be popular names for their age group. Not sure if the names you mention are that bad but the 'aspirational' names tend to slip down the social scale quickly or are too out there to hang about.

Ooh good shout!

I have an unusual surname (not unique - unless your name is completely made up it won’t be unique) - I find it a pita. Constantly mispronounced and I have to spell it regularly. It’s uniqueness doesn’t bring me any enjoyment

Aoife

People who said E fa elephant

Ridiculous.