Choosing a name when there's nothing you absolutely love

[tb4122]

Is it just a case of hoping that a name grows on you enough? Baby is a boy and there aren't any names that either myself or DP are in love with. The name I always thought I'd name a boy was Tristan but it's DP's brother's name so it's not really useable.

I had quite a few girl's names that I really liked (Martha, Eliza, Alice were the top ones) but there are no boy names that feel like my son, if you see what I mean.

We quite like Freddie, although DP has a 9 year old cousin called Freddie. The surname would be different and the boys would be unlikely to hang out together but DP and his uncle socialise several times a week so it's probably a bit odd. Other possible contenders are Alexander and Oliver. We also quite like Hector but not sure if were brave enough! But still none of them feel like "the one".

Oscar
Issac

I’ve got a Freddie, a Jack, Sophia and most recently a Harry!

Ellis was my fave, we had a girl though.

Jonathan is a classic.

Is there a family name? Father/Grandfather?

Sebastian
Dominic
Edward

I love both Alexander and Oliver

i had this. DD1 was unnamed for a week. Ultimately we went for name that didn’t immediately feel like ‘the one’ and hadn’t been on any of our shortlists, but now is 100% the one, and I can’t imagine a better name.

DD2 was named quicker but I didn’t think it was ‘the one’ either, it was just the only one my DH and I both agreed was acceptable. Again, now it’s definitely perfect.

What I’m trying to say is it will be fine, you will fall in love with the name over time.

If it helps though, Alice and Martha were both on our shortlists, as was Alexander - although we didn’t use any of them - so we probably have similar taste in names. Our boy names were Rory and Henry if you like either of them?

OP, I have two of your girls names and our boy name is Noah. I also liked Alexander, Oliver and Charlie.

Both write a list of 5 names.

Whittle it down to 3.

Whittle it down to 2.

Fight over the final choice.

Hugo
Jasper
Reuben
Chester

i know a 7yo Hector; he’s very cool!

Joel
Aidan
Rafael
Joseph
Theo

Adam
Luke
Zachary
Elias
Marcus
Dominic
James

I know a Hector, a Frank and a Norman. All under 6 months. Go for it!

We had a shortlist and were reduced to letting 3 year old DS1 choose from it. No regrets, suits him, but we would have been happy with any of the shortlisted names…

There wasn’t a boy’s name I really, really loved, but ended up going for a first name with a nice meaning that was well known but not common, and a middle name (a classic) of a grandfather figure who meant a lot to me. Whatever you go for will come to be special to you for it belonging to your son.

Alexander and Oliver are lovely.

So is Tristan - what about Sebastian, Christian, Finnan, Tobias?

Oscar. Love it.

Used to love Oliver but way too ubiquitous now.

Neither of my kids have names I love. They have names that we could agree on, as we had very different tastes.
I can't imagine them called anything else now though, I suppose they just sort of become their name

Are you sure you can't use Tristan? DO's brother might be flattered, you could ask him.

My youngest sister is called after my mum, I thought it a bit odd at the time but it worked out fine. She has a short second name and we called her firstname-secondname as a child to differentiate.

Just re-read your OP. Ellis sounds like Alice, would you consider that?

The name we called DS was always on our list, it was never near the top though. When he was born and he was a boy we each narrowed the list down to three names, and DS's name was on both of them. So that's what we called him.

I couldn't imagine any other name for him now, because it's his.

Go through some distant relative's name. Your great granddad or great uncles or something. Or their middle names.
Or pick a patron saint of something. Andrew, David, George, Patrick, John, Christopher, Matthew etc all safe. You may think they are a bit dull but IMO they are ones that will grow on you.

Pick something that goes with the surname.
Don't worry about the middle name, just use your DP's surname.4
Surname - yours.

Go for something that Freddie could be short for like Alfred but call him Alfie for now? Then if he goes for Freddie it's not you choosing it.

But no, I've not loved either of my boys names but they grew on me because I love the people they're attached to.

We can’t have anymore kids because we’ve used literally the only boys name I liked, and even that took 8 months. He’s Max.

Boys are so hard!!! I was in love with my DD’s name from the outset and people are pretty unanimously complementary, even many years later. I’ll be talking about something she’s done and people will interrupt me to say “oh, that’s a lovely name”, and it truly is!

With my boys… DS1’s name still hasn’t grown on me to be honest. Some people like it, some people have never heard of it or find it a bit odd. It isn’t odd… it’s quite a classic name, but more in the French-speaking places where I grew up, not in the English-speaking city where I live now. I’m also not convinced it totally suits his personality. But it is what it is. It is a functional name by which to distinguish him from other people. His middle name is very nice but my DH didn’t want it as a first name for semi-valid reasons.

DS2, I wasn’t convinced by his first name initially. Now it’s definitely grown on me and he could never be anything else. The name totally suits him. Don’t ask me his middle name though. It’s very archaic and I don’t know what I was thinking. 😂

I didn't have 'the one' type names for my children, just sort of picked a few that we liked and then chose the one thay sounded nicest with our surname.
The names suit them and the kids like them, it doesn't have to be a a written in the stars perfect name, just something you feel happy to call up the stairs.

My sister and her husband didn't have a perfect name either they just printed off the top 500 girls names and started from the bottom until they found one they liked enough.

Hmm. All nice choices. As compromisewith OH guess mine have never been number 1, but I love them now! If you want others

theodore
franklin
george
arthur
ethan
henry
douglas
rupert
wilfred
stanley
ernest
alfred
reuben
oscar
otis
leo
leonard
rowan
edward