Baby name regret - Isla or Eden?

[GingeGee]

Following advise from another thread I made!

Long back story but I'll try and make it short and sweet. My daughter is 4 months old, I missed the majority of just over the first month of her life due to being hospitalised with Sepsis from the birth. Obviously due to the deadline she was named what my partner wanted her to be named rather than Eden that we'd agreed on before she was born, I went along with it at the time but since getting better I realise I still am not the biggest fan of Isla, its not remotely like the name we had planned and I'm struggling for nicknames, so here I am.

I've thought long and hard about this since around her being 6 weeks old when I finally started to get my bearings. I know the process of changing the name. I'm also aware of the possibility of PND but I genuinely don't believe that's it, I've seeked help regardless and I am currently having therapy sessions but this is still niggling me.

So it would be very much appreciated from some non-biased people what there opinions of the names are? But also it would be even more appreciated if I could hear people's stories or if you know of people who have changed there's child name and what life is like after the change? Did you feel better or did you regret bothering changing it?

That sounds so difficult, I'm sorry you went through all that.

The key thing for me is not the names themselves but the fact that you missed the registration because you were so ill, and you feel like your voice wasn't heard. That's enough to definitely change it, for me. No one will think it's strange.

So, I don't want to give an opinion on the names themselves. They are both fine.

Maybe keep Isla as a middle name if you want, but don't feel you have to.

All the best to you.

Really tough one. Must be hard to disentangle how you feel about the names from your grief at missing those early weeks of your daughter's life. And if you and your DH had agreed a name before birth, it was outrageous of him to change it when you weren't able to be involved. Changing the name won't change that or give you those weeks back.

As you ask, I prefer Isla as I've never heard of Eden as a name, and it might be easier for your daughter later in life for that reason. BUT - it doesn't matter which I prefer, or which any other stranger on the internet prefers. It matters whether you feel the name is a nice fit for your daughter. I have massive name regret with my second DS, because his name is too popular and doesn't work well with our surname. But he just is that name to me now - I couldn't imagine him with a different name. So although I wish we'd picked differently at the start, I wouldn't dream of changing it now. Doesn't sound like you feel that way, though.

Thank you for that @SycamoreTall that's really kind of you!

I was at the registration, but I'd only been discharged I think a week before, so I still wasn't well. Wrapping my head round being a first time mum and trying to get my body and bearings in order I think was all that was on my mind, its all a big blur from birth to about a month after being discharged.

I guess my biggest worry is that since everyone around me including my partner is content with the name Isla, I just don't want or hope that my LO begins to wish or prefer that I'd have kept her original name once she's older or feel embarrassed of me for messing around with her name. So I think I'm seeking reassurance of some sort from other mothers that I'm not the only one who thinks Eden is preferred over Isla.

Eden is gorgeous. Its so delicate and gentle sounding. I really don't get the hype with Isla.

@SummerInSun I think that's exactly it, because there's so many factors I'm struggling to untangle it all to work out what's for the best.

He did say that she looked like an Isla after the birth, and I think hormones, drugs, exhaustion I went along with it to see how I felt not realising that the pain and illness I was going through wasn't normal and then the period I was planning to see how I felt I missed completely. I had to learn to get used to it once she'd already been registered and even though I did get used to it I can't help wishing she'd have been called Eden. I think that's one of the factors that I liked about it, because it isn't overly used and I think that's what puts me off Isla is seeing that it is so popular and to me she's now my one and only so it seems even more fitting.

Don't like Eden myself.

Strong religious connotations with wicked Eve in the garden blah blah blah.

Isla is nice.

How unfair this whole situation has been on you.

Why did your DH take it on himself to make that change?

Both names are beautiful. Both bring to my mind a very beautiful intelligent caring person, with strong personality.

Sorry you’ve had such a tough start to motherhood. I love the name Isla, Eden is lovely too although much less popular.

@Awwlookatmybabyspider same! don't get me wrong Isla is pretty sounding but so are so many other names. I think if it wasn't so popular I might've been able to sell it to myself more and feel better about it.

@ouch321 I never thought of that. Funnily enough though me and my partner both have religious names but we're both atheists.

I don't get your love for the name Eden. I think it's awful. It's presumably from the Garden of Eden. I prefer Edith at a push. Isla is a popular name, but it's her name now and it's pretty. My neighbour has an Isla and she's the most beautiful and lovely child.

‘Obviously due to the deadline she was named what my partner wanted her to be named rather than Eden that we'd agreed on before she was born’

Absolutely fuck that. You were in no state to agree to this change and I think it’s really shitty that he did this when you were so unwell.

It doesn’t matter which of the two names that people on this thread think is the nicer, it’s the fact that he overrode a joint decision when you were in no state to disagree. I’d be furious and I wouldn’t agree to go along with his name choice just because family members are now used to it after 4 months.

People change babies’ names all the time, it’s really not that big a deal. Far more common than you probably realise.

I hope you're fully recovered now, must have been an awful time

Combine them and call her Ida.

I much prefer Isla which is so pretty but that's neither here nor there as you prefer Eden. I had name regret with my DD. People were negative about the name I wanted to use and I regretted letting that influence me and not just going with the name I loved. However, I now really love the name we did go with. I think that you grow to love the word that becomes synonymous with your child.

@TropicalBlueberries I guess there was a little leeway for change as we never found out the gender so we never fully had something completely set in stone.

It threw me though all the same, but it was actually the only name prior to giving birth that he suggested so I respectfully added to it to our list just because I was in shock that he'd contributed, not really thinking that she'd be called that or that he'd feel she looked that way when she was born which again shocked me.

If I had the given time I'd have then been able to try it for a few days just to see and meet him halfway, realise 'yep that's definitely not for me' and then go forward with Eden, but yeah it didn't work out like that.

You say it's not used but there are 2 children called Eden in DDs nursery school and no Isla names at all. Isla is beautiful. But only you know what you're happy with! She's still tiny so change the name if you want to and it isn't growing on you.

I much prefer Isla to Eden but that’s not the point here - as a PP said it’s that you were ill and felt pushed into it.

Neither are my style, but Isla is better than Eden, which sounds heavy and dumpy to me. I would stick with it as really that is her name now and even if you were unwell you did go along with it.

Personally I prefer Eden, as to me it’s more fresh and distinct sound than Isla, though that’s just preference and I don’t think either are bad names.

I worked with a guy whose name was changed when he was a baby. He spent a few months as Jack, which was changed to Thomas, without Jack anywhere in the name at all. He wasn’t bothered by it at all and just found it a funny story.

Not the same. But maybe my situation will help.

When I had DD1 we had a name picked. For years. We had known if we were to ever have a daughter. This would be her name. Scarlett.

Then on her due date, my OHs Nan died. And we wanted to give her middle name as DDs middle name. Violet. But it really clashed with our chosen name. We waited till baby was born and had many signs that we should go with the middle name, and change first name. (Admitted to the Violet suite. The midwife's name was Violet).

So DD1 was named Imogen Violet. I never really spoke about it, but I took me a really long time to get past this. In my head I kept calling her Scarlett. She was probably close to 1 before her actual name was ingrained in my head.

We now have DD2 who is Scarlett & I can't imagine it being any other way now.

(Very outing for anyone that knows me in real life).

@Summerwetordry No, it actually came from a football player for us funnily enough haha. We're both sport enthusiasts and we didn't find out the gender so picked gender neutral names, which worked out well for me as I didn't really want a completely popular name but I like the idea of it being pretty and simple too.

Eden is beautiful 🤩

Isla is pretty but very popular. I don't like Eden at all and will be Ede, which sounds too much like Eid, but she's not my baby

Isla is a beautiful name. Eden, I think, is more like a boy's name.

There are quite a lot of porn stars with the name Eden.......it wouldn't be my first choice!