Am I in the wrong here?

[WolfieComport]

Sorry if I break any rules this is my first post after reading a bit on here.

I am wondering if anyone can give their opinion on my situation to see if I'm wrong in being mad.

Basically I just had a baby daughter called Isabelle and everything is amazing, extremely happy and it has been a few weeks in.

We spent a long time picking the name and it's really personal to us and it means a lot.

I have a WhatsApp chat with 4 friends where we have talked every day for ten years, and one of my friends who I'm really close to now is also pregnant.

We talk every single day and now she has decided to pick the name Isabella. I just find it really strange out of all the names available she has picked the only name that could upset me, blatently copying my little girls name.

I know she's free to name her child whatever she wants but I can't help but feel upset that for the rest of our lives we will have extremely similar daughter names. If I new she had chose that name I would of picked another one so it's more intimate and special to me, but she doesn't seems happy to copy the name almost like for like with no thought.

Am I crazy in being upset?

You will be told it’s absolutely fine for her to call her child the same name as you, even family doing this is fine in the world of MN. Back in the real world I find it strange and don’t get why someone would do this. My cousin named his daughter the exact first name and middle name as my daughter, luckily as middle names! but still the exact first and middle name as my daughter I found weird!

I understand but - in the nicest way - you are being a little bit crazy. The initial focus on baby names does naturally abate. In a few years I am sure it will have resolved itself, probably one or both of you will have evolved into a nickname and Bella and Isabelle/Izzy will have no confusion as to who is who.

I think if the names in question were rarer I might think it odd - but Isabella is currently number 8 (and Isabelle 34) in the UK charts. It's entirely possible that your friend had this name picked out for months or even years before your baby was born, and is being urged by friends/family to stick with her favourite name despite her good friend recently using a variation of it. There are often threads here in this vein, and most posters fall on the side of "still use it, it's not the same".

So kindly, I think you're maybe feeling a bit too sensitive. Cuddle your gorgeous baby who cannot be replicated and let it go.

Is it possible she copied you? Yes of course. Is that annoying, she. However you've both chosen names that are very popular girls names in England so not only will the name be shared by your friends daughter but mostly likely several other girls at school.

As long as she denies it you can't prove that she's copied you and I'd say the best thing you can do for your own wellbeing is let it go or if it's totally unbearable then change her name if she's ony a few wks old.

If your daughter had a less usual name like Estelle then I'd understand but as Isabelle and Isabella are but so common atm there's not much you can say to her.

Perhaps her daughter will end up going by Bella anyway?

Yes you are being crazy. She can call her daughter whatever she likes. It could be a family name, it could be something they always said they would call a daughter, you just had yours first you d9nt actuall6 know she ‘copied’ you

Sure not she

You are a bit crazy sorry Isabel/Isabelle/Isobel/Isabella are REALLY common.
I have 4 friends from uni ( same course) who all have a daughter called Isabelle/Isabel. It's a non issue, nice name but been very popular for years now.
Get over it you are friends so have similar taste not exactly a shock.

I couldn't even begin to care about this. Why does it matter if her name is similar to your child's name? What difference does it possibly make? It sounds like you don't even live near each other.

It doesn't make much odds, even if the names were exactly the same you can just say 'your Issy/ my Issy'.

It is a little strange that she has chosen a similar name to you but also take it as a compliment.

FWIW, dd was a few months old when we relocated to the town we live in now. Dd is an Isobel. We are surrounded by Izzys, Issys, Isabelles, Isabellas Two of her closest friends are both Isabella. 2 of my now closest mum friends have also got Izzys. My DS has the same name as his best mate and guess what his sister’s name is?

It’s a very, very popular name. Congratulations on your new, lovely baby girl.

I understand why it has initially annoyed you, but as has been pointed out, it's a super popular name so your daughters will not be the only two with those names or variations of. After a while it won't be a big deal anymore.

IF it was a super rare name (outside top 400 names) then maybe I'd be a bit annoyed

A top 10 name. No. It's probably just down to chance. Great name by the way. Just enjoy your baby and forget about it. Like others have said your two babies will probably go by different nicknames day to day anyway.

Lovely name, very popular, neither of you are in the wrong.

YABU

Why does it bother you, OP? Do you feel your daughter will be seen as less loved, unique or special ?

@elfran

I think if the names in question were rarer I might think it odd - but Isabella is currently number 8 (and Isabelle 34) in the UK charts. It's entirely possible that your friend had this name picked out for months or even years before your baby was born, and is being urged by friends/family to stick with her favourite name despite her good friend recently using a variation of it. There are often threads here in this vein, and most posters fall on the side of "still use it, it's not the same".

So kindly, I think you're maybe feeling a bit too sensitive. Cuddle your gorgeous baby who cannot be replicated and let it go.

Exactly this

What will your DD's name be shortened to? Most likely Issy/Izzy. Whereas friend's DD will more likely be Bella. So the 2 names won't even sound alike once shortened.

Both names are so popular that I couldn't get excited about it. If I wanted a name that was intimate and special to me (which you seem to be defining as unusual) then I wouldn't have chosen a name as ubiquitous as Isabelle. Maybe she has copied you or maybe she has had Isabella picked out for years. Either way she should a name she loves for her baby, just like you did for yours.

Something like Isobella is so popular anyway that you and your daughter will meet loads of others!
It’s a really easy name for nicknames too though so yours could be Bella, hers could be Issy etc

Isobel, Isabel, Isabelle, Isabella are all popular. Isabella is number 8 in the charts, but when you add together the numbers for all four names, it comes out as even more popular. Your friend has done nothing wrong and you can both enjoy using these lovely names.

She might be privately gutted that you had a daughter first and used the name she had her heart set on for years. You just don't know. It's not worth falling out over. Your children might not even end up as friends or in the same school.

Yes you are being ridiculous. Do you think she chose her daughter’s name to hurt/annoy you? Or do you think she has had a name chosen for a while that she loves which happened to be similar (but not even the same) to yours?

Unless you see each other daily and it's likely your dc will be in the same class at school together etc then I don't think it really matters.
You say you talk daily but I'm getting the feeling you don't live close.

I don’t think having the same (similar!) names is the problem here, I’d be way more put out if she glossed over it. Surely some acknowledgment that she is aware of the similarity?! I’m guessing she had the name picked out for a while.

Maybe she had the name picked out for years before you had your PFB.