Are you honest when commenting on names in real life?

[Abrakatabra]

Has it ever happened to you to think "what an awful name, poor kid" and then say to the parents "aww lovely name"?

Of course I'm not honest - this is white lie time to spare feelings eg. "Oh your new haircut's lovely" (after all it's too late for them to do anything about it now!)

Sometimes you can get anyway with not saying anything of course (which is always the preference) but other times people look at you as if expecting a comment - and it would be incredibly rude imo after a baby/child is already named to say anything other than something vaguely positive. Might be different if I was asked by a very close friend/family member BEFORE their DC were named ("well, its not really my taste - I tend to prefer...")

BTW that's the great thing about baby name boards imo - people can give their honest (but hopefully politely stated!) opinions on names as most people are asking before naming their DC (plus the anonymity).

I wouldn't be unkind but at the same time I wouldn't lie either. So if someone named their baby something I thought was horrendous, I wouldn't tell them what a lovely name it is! I'd stick to congratulating them on the birth.

If someone while pregnant asked me for my opinion on names I'd give it. I wouldn't be scathing though just politely try to steer her in the right direction, unless the name was actually something ridiculous and outlandish then I'd say it is ridiculous and outlandish!

I've been introduced to a couple of new babies recently. They weren't asking my opinion so I didn't give it. Just as well really as they were very extreme !

SIL named her boys utterly ridiculous names. I couldn't bring myself to say how lovely just managed "a boy, how lovely". FIL laughed out loud - not in front of her.

However, MIL decided it was hilarious to absolutely rip into the name choice of a cousin "Arabella" so well within the realms of normal. I'm afraid she did get a hard stare from me and "when you've grandson's called xxxxxxx and xxxxxx-xxxxx, I don't think you should be so rude about x and y's choice". FIL agreed.

My name's an Arabella genre but more unusual. Good manners never stopped people from making comments - notably teachers and nurses.

I'm much more likely to be honest on MN threads

This is anonymous, so people will tell you what your family and friends might be really thinking - bearing in mind you've specifically asked people for their opinions. And if you disagree with them, it's just a stranger on the internet: not your sister.

Very few people irl will introduce their new baby to you and ask if you like the name that they've given them. If you genuinely do like the name, feel free to say "Oh, that's such a beautiful name"; but if you hate it or are ambivalent, all it takes is a kindly "Moonshadow? Ooh, that's unusual!" or "Aaah, hello, little Zanussi-Bosch - aren't YOU gorgeous?!" with no need to add 'even though the name that your crazy parents have saddled you with is an absolute stinker!'

Felix, Alba and Milo are all great names as well.

If I’m honest I’m not keen on August/Wren. I knew someone who called a child May when she wasn’t born in May!!

@MissHavershamReturns

On a different note I really like both Beau and Dylan - both names of boys at our school!

Me too!

No. I wouldn't lie either, though, just "Ah, and how is little X sleeping / are you settled in at home?" or whatever other topic-swerving reply.

I've heard some clangers over the past few years. And my own DH had to be dissuaded from naming our son Boris.

BTW that's the great thing about baby name boards imo - people can give their honest (but hopefully politely stated!) opinions on names as most people are asking before naming their DC

So parents change their mind based on random internet users having different tastes and not liking a suggested name?

@Classica

Absolutely not. What would that achieve except hurt feelings.

White lies really are necessary in this life. People who 'call a spade a spade' are invariably absolute arseholes.

This times a million.

The only time I have sort of gulped was when coming across a RL 'Ptolemy' and a friend who named her DS 'Indiana'. Each time I managed to come up with a compliment.

(I might have balked a bit at 'Bliss' too but the child in question was 6 at that point. )

anyway, as we know liking a name is so so subjective anyway that my opinion really does not count for any names that are not given to my own children.

I'm not sure I've ever acknowledged a child name in any way ie this is our new baby Abrakadabra would have a response of "oh hello Abrakadabra aren't you beautiful"

I don't give names that much thought irl. I do love a good baby name thread on here though and I do have opinions on names if I am asked and therefore think about it. Irl, I just find out what everyone's name is so that I can identify them and am not especially arsed about how nice the name is. Unless it's a name I had on my list or something and then I say how much I like it.

The only time I'm inwardly "ugh" about names is about some really commonly used ones which I can't understand why people like them. They're all boy names and a bit "cheeky chappy", but again, I don't spend too much time thinking about them

@Ncwinc oh agree with this 100%!! My mum has put the boot in over all of her grandchildren’s names, without fail…resulting in both my sisters changing their minds 🤔 I was told repeatedly that my name choice was ‘common’ and that there are dozens of them on every council estate (🙈🙈 wish I was joking!) It made no difference, and I went ahead with my choice anyway, in fact I was probably MORE determined to use it. I have no idea what she thinks if if now, mind you he’s 16 so she’s had a enough time to get used to it!

In response to OP…no, I would never say anything because I’m not a rude cow (like my mum 😂)

IRL, I'll usually say something like 'I've not heard it before' or 'Oh, what a lovely name' or something

The ones I've not heard before are usually nice but it takes a while to get used to it

If I say 'Oh that's nice' I really mean 'what a boring overused name' or 'what possessed you'

On here I'm more honest

anyway, as we know liking a name is so so subjective anyway that my opinion really does not count for any names that are not given to my own children.

Yes

Why should our opinion even matter?

I was honest once but not in a rude way. I know a couple from Asia who I met in my adoptive country but they were about to move to the UK. While pregnant she said "if it's a girl we're going to call her Fanny". I couldn't let them do that so explained nicely what it meant in English.
The rest of the time I keep my mouth shut even of I think it's a "wtf?" name. My children went to an International pre-school so we know children with names from across the spectrum.

@JenniferWooley my dd is pregnant and I've told her to keep all names to herself because of judgy people like you.

@Mo1911

If it's a name I don't like I don't comment on whether I like it or not. I divert the conversation back to the baby as I wouldn't want to lie or hurt someone.

It's been tough recently because the names are getting worse just now. We've had a Wren, August, Felix, Alba and Milo over the last 18 months. 😩

It may be me but I don't think those names are so bad. It's Wayne, Archie and Thea I don't like.

Yes. Obviously. You just tell the socially acceptable white lie.

‘Oh, Amelia. What a lovely choice.’

It makes no difference that I think it’s a hideous name and I cannot understand why it’s so bloody popular. Long, multisyllabic, frilly, unpleasant sounding and the same word (pronounced slightly differently) is a congenital birth defect.

But Amelia’s parents aren’t interested in my opinion on their crap name choice. I’m sure they dislike my kids’ names. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Blubells

BTW that's the great thing about baby name boards imo - people can give their honest (but hopefully politely stated!) opinions on names as most people are asking before naming their DC

So parents change their mind based on random internet users having different tastes and not liking a suggested name?

Where did I say that? But if people weren't at all interested in "random internet users" opinions on their potential name choices, there wouldn't be any posts on baby name threads!

Of course everyone thankfully has different tastes in names, (otherwise we'd end up like it was a hundreds of years ago when half the population seemed to be called William, John, Mary or Margaret). But if lots of anonymous people are all saying the same positive or negative thing about a name, then it might be an indication that many people in RL are at least thinking the same, even if they'd never say it if it's negative. Of course, it's up to the parent (or parent to be) whether that might matter to them or not - I suppose some people may be posting on here simply out of curiosity, rather than that they have some doubts about a name.