Does everyone do nicknames now??

[IamJob]

On this board anyway there seems to be a trend for giving a child a name then not calling them that name but a nickname.

In my family and extended family we don’t do nicknames - so my niece is Isabelle and we call her Isabelle for example!

Is anyone else the same? Seems odd to me to give a child a name then not call them that name (obviously friends giving a nickname down the line is normal but parents starting off with a nickname instead of the full name you called your child I just don’t get it!)

A lot of children get given a nickname as their actual name. Abby, izzy, Katie, Millie, Freddie, Archie, Alfie, olly etc

Both my children are adults now and still opt for the shorter versions of their names even though their full names are beautiful.

I could count with one hand the number of people I know who go by nicknames. Any age. It’s a very Mumsnet thing.

I don't get it either, if you know you want your child to only be known as the shortened version of a name then call them that. I never planned any nicknames for my DC and any they have been called I've the years have nothing to do with actual name

@EileenGC

I could count with one hand the number of people I know who go by nicknames. Any age. It’s a very Mumsnet thing.

What, really no Kates or Toms or Matts etc?

It's not a 'MN thing' - it's a something that a lot of MNetters do. Because it's something a lot of people do.

Looking round my DC's friends, I would say that all of them have a nn. Among my friends, most of them do. So I wouldn't say it's a trend, nor wouid I say it's recent, looking at my great aunts Nelly, Lottie and Connie and great uncles Jim Bob and Ken

And even those with short names have pet names, meaning the nn can be longer than the original name.

It's just something people do.

No we don't use nick names for our children. 2 of mine has names that according to this board will automatically be shortened. Recently I commented that ds name (Conrad) never got shortened to Con and someone had put yet well he is 20 so I'm pretty sure he will remain with his full name.

Dd1 is Phoebe not Pheebs or Phee or fifi again she is in her 20s so this is unlikely to change.

I cut anyone short who tries to shorten my name. No I'm not called Lon and my name is bad enough as it is im not having it made even worse thank you very much.

Dh is known by a nick name he dislike his long name and prefer the short version so we use that.

My children are known by their full names everywhere (they have long names that could easily give rise to nn's - think Isabelle and Thomas) but at home we call them nn's that are unrelated to their names which just arise organically when they were little.

The thing is nick names are fine if people are ok with it. Insisting they will be used or continuing to using them after being asked not to. Its just plain rude. Not just something people do. You take your lead after how the person introduces themselves.

Dd3 has a good friend known as Beth not Elizabeth. She introduces herself as Beth. Sister is known by her full name and introduces herself as such. They get called what they wish.

@Toomanypeople

I don't get it either, if you know you want your child to only be known as the shortened version of a name then call them that. I never planned any nicknames for my DC and any they have been called I've the years have nothing to do with actual name

Yes I don’t get it! Like there was a post on Jolyen as a boys name and a post said oh I love it I’d call the baby Joe. I mean just call him Joe then?? If you’re not using the name why call them it.

@Enko same in my family. Never been called by nicknames.

@EileenGC

I could count with one hand the number of people I know who go by nicknames. Any age. It’s a very Mumsnet thing.

Of course it's a very MN thing because it's a very common thing to do in real life so naturally lots of people on MN will do it.

For centuries Ronald has been Ron, Katherine has been Kate, Thomas has been Tom and Elizabeth has been Beth, Lizzie, Eliza etc it's not something people on MN invented, it's a perfectly normal bog standard thing in many parts of the world.

We chose a one syllable name for DC on the basis that we didn’t want a nickname and this couldn’t be shortened… however, various family members have now started calling him different “pet” names. It irritates me but I suppose if that’s the worst thing they do then I should be grateful.

I think some people are missing the OPs point. I see so many posts on here where the OP has chosen a ‘nickname’ they want the child to have an then need help choosing a name that child can have to facilitate the nickname. I find it all a bit backwards. We’re not talking a Thomas shortened to Tom here, and actually the only Tom I know is a Tom and not a Thomas, it’s people saying I want my child to be called Minnie so what name can I give her? Well just call her Minnie if that’s what you like and what she will be referred to.

Nicknames are something that I think evolve with the child but lately on mumsnet the nickname seems to need to be decided before the child’s even born.

I would say that a nickname is something unrelated to the name but based on personality or a particular trait. Like Minty coz they always chew mints, or tintin coz they have a quiff. Shortening Thomas to Tom is just a familiar shortening of a name surely? Nothing particular to mumsnet in calling a child a full name that is more formal and shortening it for casual use. David/ dave, Stephen/Steve, Melanie/Mel. I wouldn't personally say those are 'nicknames', essentially it's the same name

@TruffleShuffles

I think some people are missing the OPs point. I see so many posts on here where the OP has chosen a ‘nickname’ they want the child to have an then need help choosing a name that child can have to facilitate the nickname. I find it all a bit backwards. We’re not talking a Thomas shortened to Tom here, and actually the only Tom I know is a Tom and not a Thomas, it’s people saying I want my child to be called Minnie so what name can I give her? Well just call her Minnie if that’s what you like and what she will be referred to.

Nicknames are something that I think evolve with the child but lately on mumsnet the nickname seems to need to be decided before the child’s even born.

Yes you’ve said it better than I did. Nearly every post is what do you think of the name Evelyn we will call her Evie. I just don’t get why they don’t call her Evie. What’s the point of calling a child Evelyn if you’ll never use their name!

Everyone i know has a nickname.

The reason people do that is because Evie sounds like a nickname, so all her life people will assume there is a full-length version of her name. I have a friend whose full name is Kate and people (particularly people in officialdom) are forever asking if it's Katherine or Catherine. So I guess people think they should give the kid a 'proper' name too.

I think it very much depends on your social circle and geographical location as well. In the UK I’ve only ever lived in London, and as I’m not British I will naturally have more international friends that someone in a small town in Herefordshire for example. Almost everybody I know is known by their full names, I have three friends called Tom, only one of which is short for Thomas. Never in my life met a Matthew who shortens his name.

‘It’s a very MN thing’ - I was referring to the phenomenon the OP describes. People come on here saying they’ve decided on a name (usually seen as a shortened version of X) and could we suggest full names they could put on the birth certificate. BUT they will never ever use that name, baby will only be called by the short version. That right there, makes no sense, and it’s definitely not common in real life. Just call the child what you want, both officially and everyday at home and at the park.

This is the case with DS - it's because he's named after a great-grandfather whose name is interesting, but we prefer the nickname (which my husband refers to as the 'playground safe' version). That was basically my suggestion for using the name and everyone liked it, including MIL, whose father DS is named after.

But if DS wants to use the full version when he's older that's still an option.

I think it's nice to have a full version of a name as well as the shorter nickname. I like the formality for special occasions.

IMO nick names evolve in time my 2 children have nicknames (would be very outing to put them here) that are not real names but that have evolved over time and events etc.... that have happened my eldest in her mid 20s still gets called her nickname from when she was a year old my youngest still has a nick name from when I was pregnant.

Have you not seen all the posts that your child is doomed to abject failure if they don’t have an acceptable ‘full’ name on their birth certificate? Yes I think it’s silly too!

You can't win though. If you like a name that is considered too cutesy or babyish you are told to 'at least put a proper name on the birth cert'
Take Posy for example, I love that name but people say it's not a proper name. I don't really want a Josephine or a Rosemary as they are totally different names.
But if I chose Josephine and called her Posy from birth I'd be accused of engineering a nickname 'just call her Posy' etc.

I agree OP, I think trying to be prescriptive when in comes to nicknames completely misses the point. Surely you give your child a name that you like, and then a nickname evolves over time. This means that the nickname comes about partly as a result of the child’s personality. So some Elizabeths will gravitate towards Liz or Lizzie, others towards Beth, others will always be Elizabeth.

Trying to decide on a nickname before a child is born strikes me as about as useful as trying to decide what haircut your unborn baby should have when they’re five! Just wait and see and see what nickname (if any) suits them.

The current generation (my generation) naming babies had nicknames and diminutives used in more cases than not growing up. Thomas became Tom, Joseph became Joe, Alexandra became Alex, Bethany became Beth... There are a handful of exceptions, but the experience for me and my friends and siblings was that if your name could be shorted it was.

So it logically follows that nicknames are an important consideration to us when naming our own babies - I think alot of nickname discussion on MN is that. Most discussions aren't about shoehorning in a nickname like Posy when it doesn't fit, but thinking "I love the name Valentina but I don't like Val or Tina so that makes it unusable".

I use a shortened version of my toddler’s name because he is learning to talk and the one-syllable nickname is easier for him than the 4-syllable full version. It’s good to have the choice when he is older though - I’ve always liked names that can be shortened or have the potential for nicknames, it gives people choice to grow into a name that suits them.

My name can’t be shortened and it frustrates me sometimes.