How long is too long?

[Fluenty]

We are getting married and I am pregnant
I’d like to double barrel ours and the baby’s name,
but with our names combined it is 5 syllables and 18 letters.
Is that too much? It’s obviously not ideal, but we both want to keep our names and we both want to have the whole family with the same name, they do sound nice together, it’s just suuuuper long! - would we be making a massive mistake?

If you and your partner like the names together I’d go for it, and if you child doesn’t like it, s/he can drop a name later. Maybe stick with shorter first names if bothers you.

Is there an example of what the names sound like? Miller-Connelly sounds shorter to me than Saxby-Hendrickson though the names are the same syllable count.

I have 2 sons, both adults now, but one would have been happy writing a long name at school, but the other is so pleased we gave him an easy 4 letter first name with a 6 letter surname. If you go with a long double surname, pick a short first name, that’s what I would do.

18 letters is LONG. It’ll never fit on forms and it’ll probably be much longer before they can write it themselves - that being said, if you like it, do it.

I have a 9 letter surname and my parents decided this required a short first name so had a limit of no more than 4 letters.

If you’re planning on Elizabeth Victoria 18 letter surname I’d personally say think again…

If you are planning on a name like Annabelle-Joy Bartholomew-Chadwick, I'd really think twiice. She'll probably be Anna Chadwick

I think it's a great idea for the baby to have both surnames. Just don't give her an overly long first name.

Tess Maxwell-Robinson
Leah Brennan-Anderson
Rose Carter-Stevenson

(I know my examples aren't 18 letter surnames but they give the jist)

@toastofthetown Hoping this isn’t outing but it would be something Jasper -Connolly
But a bit more difficult. Theyll definitely have to spell any version of the names that we go with

@pixietinkdust definitely wouldn’t do a middle name, but we both have middle names already that will have to go with the long surname

Will the form thing really be an issue?

I’m not sure what our other options are at this point though as we do want to all have the same name, but the names mixed together (a sort of half and half) sounds awful
His surname is important to him, and I am happy to change mine but not just to his, I could maybe look in my family tree and find something shorter that I still feel connected to. - I know this is all a bit of a contentious topic too so I don’t want to ask anyone in real life

My youngest DD has 34 letters and 2 hyphens!!! Which has increased by 9 and 1 hyphen since she was born.

How many is too many? Who decides? She loves her name and 99.9% of the time is called by a 3 letter derivitive or one of any number of nicknames!

@HotHointheavo thank you! That makes me feel better
Has she has any issues with forms? I read that if it’s too long it won’t go on your passport / license

I’ll be 38 letters with my first name middle name and new surname
And every name is a difficult to spell non English name at least I’m used to spelling everything out already

Oh you’d love mine.

Not my actual name, but same levels of what-the-fuckery as Rhys-Uí Shúilleabháin.

The Irish language bit is DH’s part, so most of the time I either just use my maiden name alone and the sky is yet to fall in.

I’ve not had a problem with the full name being “too long” for a form in an official capacity yet, same with the DC who use both names for school/nursery.

It’s very clunky and hard for people to wrap their heads around, but I’m glad we did it.

I have worked with a few people with non-English double barrel surnames. Yes, the first few goes it is confusing, but you quickly just get used to it. As I don't work in a 1950's boys boarding school, we don’t call people by their surname anyway. Both me and dp have surnames that begin "I'll spell that for you", so double barrel hasn't made our kids life easier. But they have the option to change it when they are older if they hate it and so far the one old enough to be writing in school loves it.

I've got 22 letters in my name in total (I have two middle names rather than a double - barrelled surname) and I can usually fit the whole name on forms fine - only occasionally do I have to pick one middle name/use initials.

So in theory a short, 3/4 letter first name plus 18 letter double barrelled surname should be perfectly okay - in fact on a few forms I've counted 28 plus spaces , so you might even be able to fit a short middle name too.

Just counted and I few up with my full name being 8 syllables and 30 letters.

Never really had an issues with forms, it is a bit long but doesn’t matter. My driving license and passport just used middle initials rather than full names written. Bank cards had all initials then surname.

I took my husbands name when I got married and now it feels much shorter but it’s still 6 syllables and 24 letters. Isn’t a problem for me at all - your baby won’t know any different, when I was a child I didn’t really realise I had quite a long name.

Grew up not few up 🤦‍♀️

I am double barrelled and have just counted and I have seven syllables eg Caroline butterfly fox Have literally never thought about the length. Actually I also have a middle name but who cares about these. You need to make a decision early to hyphen or not hyphen and stick to it.

My Dc have a 5 syllable hyphenated surname, all fine. They like havjng both our surnames.

But they do have short first names snd no middle names.

I have a long double barrelled surname and it has never once been an issue, plus a middle name. It's rare it gets said out loud and in most cases I am known an Name T-M.

A long surname is ok just don’t go crazy on the first name. I know someone who has a long double barrelled surname and gave her children long double barrelled first names. Think Evangelina-Serendipity Baronowskally-Jupiterinis (strangely difficult to come up with a similar name that’s not outing but you get the idea!) everyone calls the kids by their initials which the parents really don’t like

We’ve only spoken to a few people about this in real life and they’ve all pulled a face so I wasn’t feeling confident
This has made me feel a bit better

Just take your husbands name:) less confusing and it’s the proper way to do it. Easier for the kids too. Good luck with everything

@Bluemamma

Just take your husbands name:) less confusing and it’s the proper way to do it. Easier for the kids too. Good luck with everything

oh shove the 'proper way to do it' up your bum

@Bluemamma

Just take your husbands name:) less confusing and it’s the proper way to do it. Easier for the kids too. Good luck with everything

Yay! Up the patriarchy!

@Bluemamma

Just take your husbands name:) less confusing and it’s the proper way to do it. Easier for the kids too. Good luck with everything

Can only presume this is a joke

No problem with anyone choosing to do it but I clearly have chosen not to. And to state it’s ‘proper’ is so sad.

My children have a double barrelled name but it only has four syllables. However, I don’t think it would matter if there were more. (They also have two middle names).

We have a 15 letter 4 syllable double barrelled surname and it's no problem at all. My kids have short first names but 2 middle names so they each have around 27-30 letters in their whole name, it's a lot but no one ever remarks and it doesn't bother them.