Baby Surname Opinion Please!

[DearWilbur]

Are there any unmarried couples here who have given their baby both mum and dads surname, but without a hyphen? The two names just don't sound right together said all at once.

I am keen to share part of my surname with my baby until my partner and I eventually get married. We are engaged but realistically cant afford it for a few years. I'm also a bit of a pessimist and am aware that life isn't perfect and if anything were to happen in the future with me and my partner, if DD was to just have her fathers surname, I wouldnt like having to prove that I'm her mother etc. Id prefer my name to already be in hers.

I am also keen for her to have his surname too, as I intend on marrying him.

Has anyone ever called their baby
First name + Middle name + Mums surname + Dads surname? (No hyphen)

I thought officially on paper she would have both our surnames but with them not being hyphenated, we could go with Dad's surname for everyday use, as the 'preferred name'. I'm just not sure if my surname would then become more of a middle name for her? Or when we register her would the two names go in a 'surname option' box?

Any advise or experiences if you have done this would be great 😊 Sorry if this all sounds a bit silly, baby brain has officially set in!

Once/if we marry we would change her name to just his surname, and I would also change my surname to his.

To anyone suggesting changing my name by deed poll to his to avoid this problem completely, my mother suggested this but then I'd find it a bit weird when we got married in the future and we both already had the same surname. If anyone has gone for this option, how did you find it?

Thanks!

What benefits exactly would we gain from marrying now as opposed to in two years time?

Your income as a mother is likely to go down.
In two years time, you may be a SAHM doing the childcare, and you and DP may not be able to afford the wedding of your dreams.

Having a baby changes a relationship. It can be hard.

Your DP will have the benefits of 'married life' without needing to fork out £££ for the wedding of your dreams. Even the DC will have his surname.

@Theyweretheworstoftimes has posted a link. A marriage licence gives you legal protection if your DH leaves/dies.

You won't have that protection with your DP.

"Are you suggesting putting mine as the final name of the two as its the least likely to get dropped by people if its at the end?"

Yes, 100% this. Your surname last if you're going to have both, so his has the risk of being viewed as a middle name/ being dropped and yours is the surname until you are married (or beyond if he takes on your surname/you don't change yours).

As PP have said, give your DD your surname, and upon marriage it’s very easy for you both to change your surnames to his.

However, if you gave her something different, you’d need his formal consent to change it before she’s 16… which if you split he’s very unlikely to do.

I’d also consider doing a registry office wedding (£75) so it’s all legal, you’re married, and in a few years when the budget is there, have a big wedding party.

Getting married can only be a couple of hundred quid if you go to the registry office.

I would do exactly as you suggested. Give the baby both surnames with no hyphen. My mam gave me my dads surname, he fecked off out my life completely before I was 2. I was adamant I wanted her surname and the surname of all her family and she got it changed for me by deed poll when I was 8. But it was a lot of hassle!! My aunt gave her two first children both surnames but they only go by their dads surname. She gave her third just the dads name, they were married by then.