Baby name regret

[EmmaLouise246]

I was wondering if I could get some help and reassurance. My daughter is now 3 years old. While heavily pregnant with her my father and mother in law got divorced. We had already picked the name Elsie as her name. 1 week before she arrived my father in-law met a woman who’s grand daughter was named Elsie. We decided not to change her name as we hadn’t met them and it was early days. 3 years on they are as strong as ever and now the children have the same name. I deeply regret not changing it as I worry my daughter doesn’t have her own identity on that side. However I obviously love her name but regret it for the fact the other child is called Elsie.
Any suggestions on how to make me feel better?

Thankyou

It really doesn't matter that they have the same very pretty name.

It really doesn't matter that they have the same very pretty name.

It really doesn’t matter

Does she have a nn you could use when you're around the other Elsie?
It would bother me too. But you still love the name and it may have bothered you more if you had given her a different name and then heard Elsie at gatherings and wished you had used it.

That’s why we decided to stick to it as we had fallen in love with it and my son was already referring to her as Elsie while I was still pregnant.
We don’t see each other overally much but when they are together I feel awkward and I also feel awkward for my father in law. I’ve mentioned a nickname and it’s never come to anything.

Lots of my cousins have the same name... (one of them is Elsie actually). It's not an issue. Yes we did have Big Kate, Little Kate type nicknames just within the family, and even used mother's maiden name to distinguish some when surnames were the same, just within the family again, or just John's David/Peter's David. I'm rather fond of that I was Wee X.

I do get that you probably felt you were picking a fairly unusual name, but these things happen. I think changing your daughter's name is a bit OTT.

Stop being daft.

Meeting people with the same name is a part of life.

My son is called X. His cousin is called X. Grandparents have two grand kids called X. It’s a blended family so not much contact between cousins. No one could care less. It’s a lovely name. Why would anyone be embarrassed?

@toolazytothinkofausername

Meeting people with the same name is a part of life.

This - especially given Elsie isn't particularly unusual to start with.

It’s a popular name. She will meet other Elsies. You are obsessing over nothing

@EmmaLouise246 - My son has just started work - they said Oh now we have 3 XXXs - he does not care a fig that there are more people where he works who share a name.

Honestly DS's name was one where probably not more than one in the class but more than one in the year / school. He can cope with meeting another boy / man with his name.

If you don't see each other much - then surely it doesn't matter much.

My suggestion to you is to not worry a jot. You chose a lovely name for your daughter . If you think her identity is purely to do with her name - well that is a different matter. I suspect not & the older they get the less it will matter

Please don't worry.
Basilisk

I deeply regret not changing it as I worry my daughter doesn’t have her own identity on that side.

An identity goes far beyond a name. Her identity is many bits of her. And Elsie is not as rare as, let's say X Æ A-12 so of course she will meet other Elsies. But she will not merge or morph into them. Relax and enjoy her emerging personality

@GingerScallop & @EmmaLouise246 - Lovely

Emma I agree with Ginger and as I and Ginger said - her name is not her identity.

You could have called her Moonboots-Bloodflowers , no-one else will have that name ( well they might but unlikely ) but is not a prettier nicer name worth having someone else being called the same thing. Honestly a name is not an identity .

My step daughter has the same name as my cousin. We have big x and little x. It's never felt weird to me.

[quote BasiliskStare]**@GingerScallop* & @EmmaLouise246* - Lovely

Emma I agree with Ginger and as I and Ginger said - her name is not her identity.

You could have called her Moonboots-Bloodflowers , no-one else will have that name ( well they might but unlikely ) but is not a prettier nicer name worth having someone else being called the same thing. Honestly a name is not an identity .[/quote]
Thanks.

Moonboots-Bloodflowers . I see a sassy girl in wellies. 🤣🤣🤣

Does your Elsie have a middle name? You could call her, say Elsie Ann when around the otherElsie.
My hobby is genealogy and in recording the many same generation cousins there are easily up to 6 or more of any one name — this right up until WWI after which families became smaller. A real headache for someone tracing relatives but must have been quite usual and accepted by the families at the time.

I honestly didn’t know how popular the name was when I called her it but it seems to be everywhere now. Just having some issues with it at the moment but Thankyou all for your messages. They have made me feel better about the whole situation.

Elsie’s so stunning! Could you call her a non-name related nickname when they’re together? Like Scout or Birdie or something?

Elsie is a gorgeous name
Fairly popular these days though I've never actually met one despite years with little ones at clubs etc.
I think you are overthinking here and may be there's a deeper rooted issue than the name. Youre imagining she will bothered about this in the future but in all likelihood she won't give a second thought. I'd move on from this.
If she wants a different nickname when older she can ask for one. It's much easier these days with social media profiles. You can tell people really clearly what you want to be called. Move on

I have spoken to the family and discussed a nickname so hopefully this will happen when they are together and make me feel better. I absolutely love her name so just need to focus on that. Thankyou all.

I don't see a problem its a lovely name and you would have regretted not using it!

My husband has 2 cousins with the same first name and surname...one is a step cousin and then the other got married to a man with the same surname...and not a common surname at that ! We just refer to them as big and little

Why do you feel awkward??
There are lots of fathers and sons who live in the same house every day with the same name.
When she goes to school there will probably be an Elsie in her class.

I’d say that you are overthinking this. Elsie is a beautiful name. Keep it.

I don’t think that it is an issue that the girls share a lovely name. It doesn’t compromise the identity of either of them.

Right now I've got a father /son combo clearing up my garden. They both have exactly the same name, even down to the shortened version.It's not an issue at all.

You're definitely overthinking this. It's her name so let her continue using it.