Name traditions

[SeanChailleach]

Does anyone still use a traditional method for choosing names? In part of my family there used to be a rule like eldest son named after father, second after paternal grandfather etc. It gets confusing as you can imagine, and only appears for a few generations.
However, it must have prevented the name regret some of us suffer.
Does anyone still do this or have another system for naming children?

It is the single stupidest idea I’ve ever heard of. It is you baby! And you name it as you please. The only person that has to be happy about it is you and your partner (as long as of course it’s not some obnoxious name:). An idea of naming a baby after someone else in family is so pointless and silly makes me cringe.

Not sure what you mean by “system in naming children”. The only one system you should have is: you pick a name you love and you give it to your baby

eldest son named after father, second after paternal grandfather etc

Am I being stupid? Wouldn’t this just result in the first two sons having the same first name?

oh this was SO common in Ireland. I think people only stopped following the rules (rigidly) in about 1950.

My Dad has a sister called Margaret and a cousin called margaret because they were both named after the same grandmother.

I prefer the ''rule'' now that you at least try to give your child its own name (where possible). I know that some names are so popular that repetitions occur but I prefer the way now parents rule OUT a name if there's a cousin with that name.

It’s hardly a choice between widespread ‘name regret” and just calling every male child in the family John or James for fifteen yawnfilled generations.

Here in Ireland quite a few people I know have done this. It's almost always with male children, who get the same name as their father but use a different diminutive. I know a few girls who've been given a grandmother's name as their first name, but never their mother's.

It's not a tradition that I like and DH and I didn't do it with our boys. I'm not Irish so it wasn't expected of me, even though it's a thing in DH's family to use a different version of a father's name for a son.

Using family names as middle names is very common. Again, I didn't as I only use names I actually like. I certainly wasn't going to inflict FIL's name on any of my children for any reason!

@SeanChailleach I do love your name though!:) (not sure if it’s your real name). My son due any minute now will have your name :)

My dd got his dads name as a middle name. (Eldest boy)
My mum got her mums name as a middle name. (Eldest girl)
My sister got mums first name as middle name (eldest girl)
Dd has my name as middle name.
Dh hates his name so DS got 2 new names

It used to be a tradition to give the first child the mother's maiden name as a middle name. Sometimes all the children. Useful for genealogy research I suppose.
Both my parents got their mother's maiden name but my Dad's was changed slightly to make it an ordinary christian name eg Davis to David.

The tradition wasn't passed down to us and I think children need their own names. We went with names we liked with ours without an expectation that it had a connection to anyone.
A colleague who had a baby at the same time as me used the names of both grandmothers. It wasn't a good choice, poor kid.

DH has a name that goes back five generations. It's awful. We had two sons and put a stop to it.
No one said anything.

[quote Elisemum]@SeanChailleach I do love your name though!:) (not sure if it’s your real name). My son due any minute now will have your name :)[/quote]
As @SeanChailleach’s username means ‘Old Witch’ or ‘Old Hag’, I think it’s both highly unlikely it’s her real name or that you’re calling your baby it. (I assume you mean Seán is what you’re calling your baby — the síne fada makes a big difference…)

@Spindrifting haha that made me 😂 Yes Sean - Irish spelling.

eldest son named after father, second after paternal grandfather etc

I also read this to mean that both brothers share the same name

[quote Elisemum]@Spindrifting haha that made me 😂 Yes Sean - Irish spelling.[/quote]
Well, make sure you include the fada, as ‘Sean’ means ‘old’!

On my mum's side, we currently have 4 generations of the same name, great grandfather, grandfather, uncle and cousin. My younger brother has it as a middle name. I think it's restrictive to use the same name, but then, if it's a name you like, why not?

On a similar vein, but not a traditional thing for us. DS was given our dad's name as a middle name (fil and my dad share the same name) as we thought it was a sweet nod to our dad's, and it flows nicely with ds first name.
If we have a dd she will have the same middle name as me, our mums and sil as its a nice name and is sweet in the same way as using our dad's name.

However, it must have prevented the name regret some of us suffer.

Personally I'd have much bigger name regret if I had to name my children after some rule or family members!

I know a family that alternates first & middle names for the oldest boy - so James William's eldest is always William James. Except they aren't ordinary, sensible names like that - they're very distinctive & unusual.

The reason I know this is because a friend married in to the family, had a ds, & flatly refused to go along with the tradition (with the full agreement of her dh, who'd always vaguely thought he'd follow the tradition but had never actually liked his name much, either).

Her MIL didn't speak to her for months & simply wouldn't accept that it was a joint decision by both parents. It was grim. (FIL didn't give a shit that his dgs wasn't called after him, mind you).

So I'm inclined to think that it's a tradition best not started in the first place!

I have a pregnant friend whose husband’s classic name (Eg: Thomas, George, James, Edward) has been used by every first born son’s first born son for generations (so it’s her husband name, her father-in-law, great-father-in-law etc). They are in a real dilemma (and hoping to have a girl!) trying to decides whether to use the name even though it’s not really to her taste and she thinks it’ll be confusing to have a husband and son share a name or whether to risk that entire side of the family.

These silly rules are why poor Dh has a first name and a middle name ending in the same 2 letters which to me looks absolutely ridiculous tbh. In laws are extremely meek rule following types so if you tell them there is a made up rule they will follow it without question even if their son ends up with a daft name! Sadly for them their son is the exact opposite so we ignored the “rule”.

Just thinking, I gave my dd my mother's middle name as her middle name and my son's middle name is my dad's middle name but the name that he goes by.

My brother is named after our paternal grandfather, but that was because he died before my brother was born. And my grandfather used a different shortened version than my brother does.

There is a family name on my mum's side that I think it was "expected" I would use for DS, however it reaaaalllly doesn't work with DP's surname. Also I wanted DS to be the first in the family to have his name

@Spindrifting actually just showed it to my DH- he is Irish and Sean means god is gracious apparently (not that I care about the meaning one bit) - and that’s with or without the fads. Just a side note, sorry for hijacking OP:)

@Spindrifting sorry I take that back! You’re completely right.

[quote Elisemum]@Spindrifting actually just showed it to my DH- he is Irish and Sean means god is gracious apparently (not that I care about the meaning one bit) - and that’s with or without the fads. Just a side note, sorry for hijacking OP:)[/quote]
I’m afraid your husband is wrong, @Elisemum. ‘Sean’ (pronounced ‘Shan’ just means old. eg ‘Is seanbhean mise’ (‘I’m an old woman’).

Seán (pronounced Shawn because of the fada) is the Irish version of John, and means ‘God is gracious’ or equivalent.

x-posted with you, @Elisemum.