Name traditions

[SeanChailleach]

Does anyone still use a traditional method for choosing names? In part of my family there used to be a rule like eldest son named after father, second after paternal grandfather etc. It gets confusing as you can imagine, and only appears for a few generations.
However, it must have prevented the name regret some of us suffer.
Does anyone still do this or have another system for naming children?

Both our mothers are very into family history to the extent that MIL gave poor DH (her firstborn son) an excruciating set (3 middle names) of names all with family relevance including her maiden name which is just rather embarrassing as a middle name to the extent we agreed not to use middle names at all at our church wedding as he is so embarrassed by it.
She gradually calmed down with her subsequent children who were not similarly burdened.

My family aren't quite so extreme but do like a nod to an ancestor somewhere in the mix. I was always told that I was named after my Irish great great grandmother but it's a pretty common name so who knows. I liked that thought as a child and still do now.

DH and I have given our children whatever 1st names we like and 2 second names a piece referencing their grandparents and great grandparents. I think it's nice to have a family connection with names but I would not want my first name choice constrained.

My cousin's ex was Jack as was his father, his grandfather and so on for many generations. She was very glad to have girls as the row if she'd tried to choose another name for a son would have been epic.

My husband's family give the same unusual (but not weird) middle name to the first born child of the first born, and as it has been 129 years of only males born (my daughter was the first female in 129 years, but fourth child), all of them have been boys. My husband's first born, however, had a female as his first born, so she is the first female in a very very long time to have this middle name.
My mother's family also had a particular middle name that first born males were given.

I'd weep if someone took away my right to name my own child! The only other person with a say is DP and even then I have the option of "no".

So my question is this.
If both mum and dad come from families who use traditions, who’s wins?
You can’t use both traditions, one has to back down as a child only has one first name. Even if you double barrel the first name, the child will only be known by the first part of that name so John-Michael will ineffect be known as John and therefore the Michael will not carry on.?

Really common in my family!
I certainly chose family names too.
It helped me get over "losing " my surname.

People can regret following traditions. Some can regret it and still want to pass it on. People can be weird like that.

In my spouse's family, first-born boys are given a particular name. MIL & BIL loathed the name & MIL didn't like that her MIL had talked her into it - but still wanted us to use it, but only as a middle name. I liked the name more than any of them.

My maternal family has a variety of 'traditions', though most are only a couple generations old so I guess there are some regrets that have caused some changing. Longer than any tradition given by their parents is the evidence of people changing their names or using multiple names. The number of names one of my great grandmother used can make things a bit confusing (before getting into that the second half of her double name was after a sibling who died - but she used variants of that part most).

My grandmother followed this kind of tradition and always regretted that she named her only daughter after her mother in law. She always presumed she would have a second daughter to name after her mother, which is who I'm named after. I think no matter what way people name their children, their is always the possibility for regret

Now I have thought about it, it wouldn't stop name regret: you would either regret following the tradition or regret breaking it.
The precise order is so complicated - 9 children families were a thing, and I think they did run out of names by about 5 or 6.
Was it an Irish thing? I didn't realise. It maybe contributes to hardly anyone in those generations being called by their given name.

Lol at Seán Chailleach as a name. Cailleach doesn't mean hag or witch though. It just means old woman. Caile means woman and cailín girl.

www.teanglann.ie/en/fgb/cailleach

Me and my 2 brothers were given my mother's maiden name as our middle name. My 2 sisters were given our mum's mum's maiden name as a middle name.

I like the archetype of the crone. The word crone is horrible but i see it as wise and accepting, taking no shit, doing no harm, honoring her own agenda. I think jean shonoda bolan has a fantastic clip on youtube about the archetype of the crone. I listen to it every few months 😍

And that's what i think of when i see seanchailleach 's screen name

Eldest son named after paternal grandfather or after both grandfathers.
Daughter named after both grandmothers.
Often father and son, and mother and daughter would have the same name.
Mother's maiden name often used as a middle name.
Other sons and daughters often named after uncles and aunts.
Cousins would often have the same first names, so would use nn.

One Margaret might be Maggie and her cousins might be Daisy and Peggy.
One John would be John and his son Jack, his cousin Johnny etc

My family on my father's side did this. The first son was always given the same name. Traditional name like Henry. My grandmother hated it and so my dad ended up being Henry George Surname, known to everyone as George. My brother has a totally different name, so that's probably the end of it now!

I have a lot of sisters, and several of us have one daughter. We all automatically gave the girls our maternal grandmother's name for a middlename, thinking we'd have another girl. My dad's brother noticed we didn't use his mother's name. We also didn't use our own mother's name. I think perhaps this is a clue why those traditions work better with big families.

My Gran, Aunt, My Sister and 7 cousins all share the same name😂😂. It's confusing.

That's impressive! Seven cousins!

In dh's family, there has been a naming tradition, there are 2 names alternative for the oldest son.
One name is lovely the other is awful and very old fashioned.
Think Joshua and Clarence.

My dh has the 'Clarence' one. His father was 'Joshua'
As it happened our first child was a boy and 'Joshua' is one of my favourite names, so we used it (and made his dad extremely happy)

But I can't imagine my sone callling his kid 'Clarence'

It was very traditional in many areas to do:
First boy after paternal grandfather,
second boy after maternal grandfather
first girl after maternal grandmother
second girl after paternal grandmother

If you do any family history, you see it a lot.
Dh's family use a LOT of family names/naming after grandparents etc.

that should say the names alternate.

all mine have middle names that are family names. Me, my mum and my granny all have same middle name. Which I love. I gave same middle name to my dd.

The naming in my family is based on 2 separate cultural norms. Firstly, fathers initial carries through to the names of the offspring. I have the same initial as my dad, his siblings, my granddad, his siblings and so on. On my mums side of the family, it’s a different initial but the same rule applies and goes back generations. The second rule is that everyone has a nickname, which bears no relation to the actual name ie it’s not a diminutive but from a pool of common nicknames. It means I don’t know the full names of most of my cousins as they never used their proper names at home. But I know what letter it would start with!

The only tradition both sides of my family has is that both sets of grandparents are known by totally different names to their given ones. Weird lot

My family tend to use family names as middle names, usually our parents or grandparents names (or derivatives of)

I couldn't cope with the pressure of having to call my first born son Humphrey because that what his family had always done. I'd gladly be that tradition denying witch that brought an end to 15 generations of Humphrey.

In my Granny’s family her mum and dad were called (names changed to protect the guilty) Robert and Rebecca.

They had a baby girl who they named Rebecca, after her mother, but she died in babyhood. They then had a son that they named Robert, after his father. They then had another daughter, who they also named Rebecca. Their family- the two Bobs and two- well, three- Beckys was complete!

Then 20-odd years later my great-grandmother, the first Becky, thought she was having the menopause but, as used to happen a lot back then, she was pregnant. It was another girl! And having run out of names they called her Joan. Joan is now 90-odd and my granny. She said she felt very weird being the only person with a unique name. Her siblings even had the same middle names as their parents! And what was granny Joan’s middle name? Rebecca, of course!

I imagine it all got a bit confusing with post in that house!

On my father's side, there are three names that are passed down , for the boys.
On my husband's side, the men have a few names that are shared.
We used one from m my husband for our son's middle name.
If our DC choose to have children, they can name them whatever they want.