Would you change your birth name?

[Augustbutterfly]

Would you change your birth name if the name represented a religion that you don’t follow anymore. Imagine everyone you meet assumes that you follow that religion because of your name and judges you if you act outside of the religious expectations, would this bother you and make you consider changing your birth name to make your life easier and create some distance between yourself and those people?

P.s I posted about the baby name Mina on another thread xx

If I liked my name then I wouldn’t change it.
If I didn’t then I would.

No, definitely not

Hard for me to relate, really, having a very ordinary name and not being religious, but I could see certain circumstances where I would see it understandable. For example, if I was a man named Abdullah, but was not Muslim, I might be tempted to change.

I think just using a non-religious nickname would be simpler though - e.g. "Mo" for Mohammed, "Sam" for Osama.

@CoalCraft What you have described is a very good example of the situation that I’m asking for opinions on!

Yes, if I could think of a name I preferred.

I know people who have changed their name.Two of them because they were converted to a religion.

I can also think of some who were known by their middle name but now use their first name.

Something like Alison Jane Smith was Jane all the way through school but is now Alison.

A very niche question. It's not quite the same as "would you change your birth name for whatever reason".

Be interesting to see what replies you get.

I'd change mine just because I don't like it

If I had to deal with people assuming something as intrinsic as a religion about me.... definitely.

Yes I would change my name if I felt it didn't represent who I am and it gave a conflicting first impression to others. Life is too short. Be who you want to be

It’s your name. Change it if you want, you don’t need a reason.

I like my name. It's very plain Jane and forgettable. Which I like because none has any preconceptions in job interviews or otherwise.

Are you considering changing your own name or are you concerned that you're giving your child a name they might want to change?

I would change my first name if I hated it, for example if it had been 'trendy' when I was born or very unusual and I had the mick taken out of me at school. I was actually not very keen on my name growing up because of being only one syllable and I wanted a name that could be shortened; however it isn't a dreadful name and I have grown into it.

I can't think of a name that is connected to a religion unless it is Islamic, boys named after the Prophet for example, or maybe something like Immaculata or Carmel. A lot depends on where you live; on the continent it isn't unusual for a man to be called Jose Maria or similar and nobody thinks anything of it. Jesus in the Cabbage Van has delivered groceries to me before now :-).

Say the name was Christian. I don't think I'd assume a man called that would actually be a Christian. I suppose I might wonder if his parents were. But it wouldn't affect the way I'd view or treat him at all. I wouldn't change my name because of other people.

However, if my name represented a religion I actively thought was wrong (like, my name was Christian but I was a practising Muslim), or I'd had a bad experience of that religion, then I might change it.

Thank you for so many insightful and helpful comments on this topic! I’m thinking of changing my own name and also thinking of what to name our child because I don’t want them to face the same dilemma later on in their life.

I feel like my name does represent a religion that I think is totally wrong for me & goes against my values, I’ve also had a very bad experience of this particular religion. Although my name in itself doesn’t have a particularly religious meaning, it represents an ethnic origin where over 90% of people from that ethnicity/ country follow this particular religion. It overwhelms me to have to lose a connection to my ethnic background because I don’t represent the majority’s religious beliefs, but I feel it’s a necessary step because my own beliefs conflict massively with theirs. It irritates me when I tell people my ethnic origin and they assume that I follow this particular religion - even though my name has a very secular meaning.

But I can’t help feel a great sense of loss losing my birth name and the memories associated to that. So it’s a bit of a stressful and emotionally charged situation. I don’t know what’s worse, the loss of the birth name or the constant association to a belief system that you cannot stand & do not want anything to do with :(

Forgive me if this sounds ignorant, but when you say 90% of people from an ethnic origin follow a religion is that as in devout regular worship, or more like they're culturally religious? For example some of my friends would say they're Catholic, but they rarely attend Mass. It's a baptisms, confirmations, weddings and funeral type Catholicism with some of the major events thrown in.

I don't see why you'd have to lose a secular name from your heritage just because other people from your heritage have different faith beliefs to you.

@LolaSmiles I would say that they’re pretty devout, they either follow it moderately or are very much orthodox. The people who don’t follow it are very secretive about it. The laws of the country are also governed by this particular religion - so for example, blasphemy can and has been punishable by death in many cases. I thankfully don’t live in this country but my name gives me a close association to it, which makes me quite anxious, especially because my new beliefs would definitely be seen as “blasphemous” by most people from this country, as well as by the law of this country. So sometimes I feel like the name change isn’t really a choice but mandatory, even if I feel attached to my birth name. I don’t know if I’m over-reacting… maybe I’ve been doing too much googling! Haha

Without a doubt I would change it.
Could you perhaps use part of your original name in a new, secular one?

@MorriseysGladioli I could! I am thinking of choosing a name which represents my new beliefs - a fresh start where I feel like I can move away and create distance from this past religious background. I’m sure people who become close to me will come to know of my past background but I don’t mind that, I’m not trying to conceal the past by changing the name, I just don’t want the association to this religion to be at the forefront of my identity moving forward in life. I might keep the initials of my birth name in my new name, just for sentimental reasons.

I also thought of that.

For example, if your name was Ayesha (which means 'happy living'), you could become Ayla.

Do you have a middle name or nick name you could use day to day instead?

My 1st name isn't common and was rare/unusual when I was born. My parents gave me the middle name of Elizabeth, incase I didn't like my 1st name. I still had the option to use Liz, Beth, Liza or Elizabeth if I hated by 1st name. I love my 1st name, but could you use your middle name instead?

@Plumtree391 Ayla for example is a name quite common for people who follow that religion even though it is secular. The religious association is so deeply rooted in the ethnicity - it’s sad but it’s like the two have become one.

@Elouera I do have a middle name but I would need to modify it so that it’s neutral & not connected to the religion, great suggestion!

I’ve been thinking of going all out and having a completely different name which represents my new religion - people might find it weird for someone of my ethnicity to be following this new religion and having a name from this religion, but it’s better than the current assumptions that are made I think.

It's up to you what you do, August. I note you said you have a new religion. No religion is completely free from taint and if you come from an Islamic background, there is plenty about Islam to be admired; it's unfortunate we generally only hear the negatives. I am a Christian but not blind to mistakes and even atrocities committed by Christians and in the name of Christianity.

Isla is a lovely name and sounds the same as 'Ayla', you could try that if you like it.

Never be ashamed of where you come from, you are an individual.

For the record I have known loads of people called Ali, Yusef, Maryam and the like and they are just people like myself.

Good luck.

I think perhaps people are assuming things less than you think. At least for me, coming from a very white British background, I’d probably assume things about your ethnicity from your name but not your religion. This is because so many white British people will have “Christian” names but make no link between that and themselves following Christianity (I know atheist parents who named their son Christian for example because they liked the name). I am not a Christian but I would happily name a child Peter or Joseph or Mary for example. I know it’s obviously different with, say Islam, where it’s impossible to be of Muslim background and live in the Middle East and admit to not actually having that faith, but I would never assume anything about people’s actual faith or lack of.

Btw you said about Ayla as an example. I think a lot of people in the U.K. would just see the name Ayla as similar to the name Isla and either used by people who a) want a more original spelling or b) have parents from different cultures and want a name that reflects both. The Ayla I know has a Muslim - Turkish father and a British mother (sort of agnostic or atheist Christian). As far as I know, her name was chosen to work with both cultures and she isn’t being brought up to be particularly religious.