Would you change your birth name?

[Augustbutterfly]

Would you change your birth name if the name represented a religion that you don’t follow anymore. Imagine everyone you meet assumes that you follow that religion because of your name and judges you if you act outside of the religious expectations, would this bother you and make you consider changing your birth name to make your life easier and create some distance between yourself and those people?

P.s I posted about the baby name Mina on another thread xx

As another example, I know a lot of first and second generation Indian families. I can obviously infer their ethic background from their names but I have absolutely no idea if their names indicate religion… for one, there are a number of religions in India anyway so I wouldn’t guess.
A few have discussed seeing family over Diwali (or rather, having planned to but it being cancelled because of lockdowns etc) but even then I don’t know if this makes them Hindu? Should they infer from the fact that I get a Christmas tree and swap presents at Christmas that I am a practising Christian? Because I’m not, and for most people I know Christmas and Easter etc are cultural celebrations and they don’t actually go to church or even believe in God. One mixed race couple I see socially celebrate both Diwali and Christmas .. I honestly infer absolutely nothing about their respective religious beliefs from this, they just want to celebrate and be proud of their culture(s).

Half the Jewish people I know celebrate Hanukkah … AND also do Christmas cards / might get a Christmas tree etc.

I don’t know what religion you now follow or which country you now live in but if it’s Western Europe, North America etc there is probably a lot less assumption making than you think.. A lot of people won’t necessary assume that ethic and cultural background necessarily means anything about the religion you follow and the faith you actually hold.

Its very rare I hear a name and think "oh x religion" like the name Christian to me I do not assume Christian parents

Ayla for me I think of Jean Auels clan of the cave bear books not ohh Turkish name.

If I hear Adam of Eve again I do not assume a certain religion nor would I wil Muhammed I wait and get to know the person.

The only time I did this was when my aunt and her husband chose Deborah for their dd. Many will be like. Eh Deborah is pretty normal however this was 25 years ago and they live in Scandinavia where this name was highly unusual. However once I got used to the name I did not link her name to religion it became her.

Having said all of that. If you do feel it defines you in a negative way then I would 100% change it

I do get where you are all coming from, ideally ethnic identity shouldn’t be directly associated to or linked to religious beliefs but for example if you are are South Asian, it is a very big part of your identity. Take Pakistan for example, it was founded on the basis of religion, separated from India on the basis of religion. So at least amongst South Asians, name becomes a very big religious identifier. People tend to feel a sense of togetherness and kinship when they meet another person from a particular religion & expect you to feel the same way and share the same beliefs. I’ve tried the approach of saying my name is x and then explain gently that I am no longer part of that religion & follow x religion now to people from the same ethnic & religious background as me, they look at me as if i have betrayed them and they openly express their disappointment & “concern” over my decision. I guess the name change will help them to know from the get-go that I’m not really on the same path as them & avoid any confusion.

It’s a very painful thing though and I wish it didn’t have to be like that. I actually really like my birth name so it’s really annoying to have to change it.

@Augustbutterfly

It’s a very painful thing though and I wish it didn’t have to be like that. I actually really like my birth name so it’s really annoying to have to change it.

It seems to be only you who thinks you have to change it, August. You don't! If you do, you might regret it in time and who knows, if you have children they may grow up thinking their mother denied what was once an integral part of herself (kids can sometimes be quite judgemental).

After the second world war there were Jewish people who changed their names in order to blend, understandable in some ways. The next generation were not pleased about that and often reclaimed the name.

A name is not a religion and I think it is you that is making it an issue, plus there must be good things about your ex religion, and definitely are positives about many people who espouse it - perhaps in your own family.

Please think very carefully and from all angles.

I have a typically british name much to the upset of my dad's entire family who wanted a traditional name from their culture. My mum wouldn't have it and naming me was delayed for weeks.

I really really wish I'd been given a name that reflects my heritage
My husband has a very traditional name and instantly people know where he's from and his country (we both come from the same country).
I don't have kids but if I did I would love them to have names that reflect their heritage.

No, I love it. So many variations and very classic

What name is that, Disney?

Would you consider keeping your birth name but adding a new first name in front of it so you preserve the connection you feel to it but without some of the discomfort you're currently feeling? Another idea might be to look at the meaning of your birth name and choose a 'stage name' version of it for use when you would find it easier to distance yourself from the religion e.g. if your name is Amira, you might choose to be known as Sadie or Sarah which also mean princess.

Interesting thread. Im Irish but not catholic so although now, nobody gives a rat's ass, i do rememeber 30 years ago when people would note what school id been to and then test me by asking what my confirmation name was!
I hated being different.
Id never assume an Assumpta or a Concepta or an Angustias was religious.id assume their parents were. Over the years ive learnt there is no difference between the conceptas and the kathleens.

It must be annoying to have to set others assumptions straight all the time though.
Id pick a name that sounds like your real name as you like your birth name.
Will you have time to do it before the baby is born? Will her birth cert have yr new name?