Does it really matter what MIL thinks of name?

[StephanieJ]

Me and my partner are due our first baby and while we haven't found out the gender yet we have decided for a boy that we want Freddie Matthew (Matthew is my grandads name so has to be kept). My MIL absolutely hates Freddie and every time we mention it she's quite nasty about it and says won't be calling her grandson that, I know I'm probably just being over the top and tbh we may not even have a boy but I feel like it's going to cause an argument when quite frankly surely it's our choice? Also, if anyone has any other suggestions that would be appreciated, neither of us are keen on all the new 'cool' names they're lovely just not for us xx

Your baby, your choice!
I love the name Freddie.
I wouldn't pay attention to my MIL if she didn't like the name

Unless it's something clearly out of bounds like the name of an abusive ex or a child of hers who died then it's not about her opinion. How does your OH feel about it?

No, it has nothing to do with your MIL. Totally up to you what you call your child. Stick to your guns if you love it.

Just a suggestion though, would your MIL be more comfortable with Frederick Matthew on the birth certificate but known as Freddie day to day?

She might feel, as do I tbh, that Freddie is in fact one of those '"new 'cool' names" and a bit on the cutesy side.

I do love Matthew, though.

My mil hates the names we've picked. She says she likes them but her face says different. I honestly couldn't give too hoots, our baby and our choice. I wouldn't change the name you've picked and love to pander to anyone's hissy fit.

Thats it's I've asked my partner and there's no link to anyone in the past with that name. He loves the name and really it's about the only one we can agree on haha. He's also not bothered at all what his mum thinks about the name I think it's just the way she can be nasty about it gets to me (although I also realise this can be massively due to over reacting hormones) haha

'Oh that's a shame MIL because grandson won't respond to you if you call him something else. But I guess if you feel that strongly you probably won't want as much a of a relationship as I thought you would.'

When we told MIL our chosen baby boys name she said it was awful, she hated it & on many occasions asked us not to choose it.

Upset us a bit at first but not enough to stop us using it (it's the only name we ever agreed on before & during pregnancy). Also, she was put in her place by FIL a few times which helped.

Now of course "she couldn't imagine calling him anything else".

I don't think many people would have the brass neck to continue voicing their negative opinion once the baby is actually named! I would hope lol...

It's a lovely name and if she doesn't like it she's going to have to get over herself. She's had enough chances to name children

I didn't even need to read the full post to answer this - her opinion on the matter is worthless. Out of interest though, what do you mean about her getting nasty about it? I would fully expect my DP to step up and put her in her place.

I think it's a lovely name, and tbh it's nothing to do with your MIL. Call your baby what you want

Tell her you've changed your mind about Freddie and you're going to call him Clive or something instead.
Something she's likely to dislike more. Maybe Balonze
Then call him Freddie because she named your partner and you can call your child whatever you like.

Never ever tell anyone what you are calling your baby until it is born and already called that name. We find that stops any issues!

All four grandparents were (albeit secretly) horrified by DS’s name, but given that they had the worst possible taste in names — DH is one of five and I’m one of four and we all have dreadful names that were intended to be beige and inoffensive, but are bizarrely mismatched with surnames, or desperately old-fashioned because we were named after some dreary relative we never met, and in one case, the midwife was allowed by my mother to name the baby! — it struck us as probably a good sign.

Your Mil has her day naming her kids.
Don’t you dare let anyone change it.

Not that it matters what she thinks but She’ll probably end up loving her name once he’s here and is his own little person.
I loathed the name my sister had planned for my nephew. I didn’t say anything because you don’t
However I love it now. It suits him to a Tee. I can’t imagine him called anything else.

@GoodForTheSoul

I didn't even need to read the full post to answer this - her opinion on the matter is worthless. Out of interest though, what do you mean about her getting nasty about it? I would fully expect my DP to step up and put her in her place.

This. Her opinion is worthless. It doesn't matter. Stop discussing things with her.

My dgs is Freddie!!.
My now ex ils hated our ds's name.
Told her she wasn't being forced to see him!
She shut up.

It’s your choice, she gets zero say in it! It’s a really lovely name and she will get used to it. Till then I agree with PP, tell her if she refuses to use it you refuse to see her. If you and DH are set on it do not let her change your mind! My DM criticised all 3 of my DCs at first names but since they were born she hasn’t said a thing.

I'd be reminding MIL that she's named her children and now you're doing the same. Freddie a lovely name!

Freddie is a really lovely name, OP. And it's your baby, not hers. As long as you and your DP are happy with the name, who cares what anyone else thinks.

MIL is bonkers, Freddie is nice, it's friendly, as is Fred. I do hope, however, his full name on birth certificate is 'Frederick' and you just call him Freddie.

Your baby, your name, and Freddie is a lovely, inoffensive name. If you love it, keep it.

Other suggestions
Daniel
Samuel
Robert
Benjamin
Stuart
William
Richard
Michael

Unless you are naming your child Frodo rather than Freddie, no opinions allowed!

… unless there’s a strong family history to the name. It might be worth probing gently. There’s a name I quite like that I never could have used because it happened to also be the name of my husband’s aunt’s ex-husband who was wildly abusive. Likewise, I wouldn’t dream of using the names of my grandmother’s stillborn children. So while typically I’d say “your kid’s name is your business,” I think some limited opinions are ok in the family.

Its not my sort of name but I wouldn't be going omg awful over it.

When DS was born my mother announced " thats a HORRIBLE name" ffw 11 years and she said" I always loved the name Conrad it is such a good strong name" her association was now her grandson whom she loved.

My late mil called dd2 Rachel for weeks she thought it was a nicer name than her actual name. Nobody needs to approve the name you like please forget your mil disappointment tuts.

Tell her you've changed your mind about Freddie and you're going to call him Clive or something instead.
Something she's likely to dislike more. Maybe Balonze

This is what we did - came up with a list of outrageous, ridiculous and mostly made up names and didn't tell MIL any that were on the real list.