Does it really matter what MIL thinks of name?

[StephanieJ]

Me and my partner are due our first baby and while we haven't found out the gender yet we have decided for a boy that we want Freddie Matthew (Matthew is my grandads name so has to be kept). My MIL absolutely hates Freddie and every time we mention it she's quite nasty about it and says won't be calling her grandson that, I know I'm probably just being over the top and tbh we may not even have a boy but I feel like it's going to cause an argument when quite frankly surely it's our choice? Also, if anyone has any other suggestions that would be appreciated, neither of us are keen on all the new 'cool' names they're lovely just not for us xx

@Maggiesfarm

MIL is bonkers, Freddie is nice, it's friendly, as is Fred. I do hope, however, his full name on birth certificate is 'Frederick' and you just call him Freddie.

Why??? They like Freddie. Just Freddie! You sound like the MIL with your criticism.

Op, Freddie Matthew is lovely!
Tough luck what your MIL thinks- Tell her if she wants a relationship with DG, then she better had use his name and keep her opinion to herself

that's a fine name.
stick with it.
if she doesn't like it, that's her problem.
don't let it become your problem.
good luck

We told most people our sons name before he was born except MIL who I knew would have an opinion. We decided telling her in the delivery room when he was born would mean she couldn’t be rude about it.
When her son handed her his firstborn son and said “This is Dexter” she said “Are you kidding me?” 😂
I’d completely forgotten all about it until now. Just call him Freddie and hopefully you will all forget about it after a little while.

Freddie is the name of my youngest. I don't call him Freddie though I mostly call him fred. It's your child not hers. She won't see him as often as you do. She will have to come to terms with it. Don't do something you will regret later

Tell MIL she can always get a pet if she wants another go at naming 😂

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers has a good idea. Ask your MIL why she dislikes the name. When I chose names for DD1 I made a list of the five I liked best and my mother marked off the first three. Two were names of my stillborn sister (I did not know because she died when I was two years old and was never spoken of in front of me) and the third name was my father's fiancee prior to his meeting and marrying my mother.
We compromised. I used name #3 but the shortened version (think Kathy instead of Katherine) and we were both happy.

Stop discussing names with mil. Just announce it post birth. It’s not up for debate. She named her child, you’ll name yours. She will get over it and learn to like the name, relatives generally do. It wouldn’t matter if she hated it forever though

If my MIL had a reaction like that to a baby name I was thinking of, I think it would honestly just make me want to use it more!
But I did have a wee laugh at you not liking the current ‘cool’ names as Freddie is SO popular at the moment so he’ll probably be about the 5th one in his class. I think it’s about number 9 in the UK (behind Theo and Leo of course 😂)

Freddie is great.
My mil disliked both our children's names and expressed her opinion after they were born.
I've no idea what she thinks now because we ignored her. I assume she has got used to them.

Oh such an opportunity!

MiL doesn't like Freddie?

In that case, i would spend the rest of my pregnancy winding her up with ridiculous suggestions that I knew she would hate.

Then name him Freddie to see the relief on her face.

It only matters if she is naming her own child. If this is your child then it is up to you and your Dh, no one else.

You never tell anyone the name before the child is born to prevent everyone and his dog having an opinion on it.

If your MIL decides to behave appallingly over the name you have chosen for your child then she doesn't get to see the child. I say this as someone who had a toxic grandparent who got to make her opinions to our faces over many years. I wish my parents had stopped taking us to her house.

My MIL hated all the names we chose for our kids. I asked MN about my middle child's name and MN hated it too. We went with it anyway because I'm stubborn. Ten years later she gets compliments on her name all the time. Funnily enough, last year loads of newborn baby girls (and quite a few pets haha) were graced with her name. Seems I was ten years ahead of the trend :)

Completely your choice what you name your baby. If you don’t discuss it with anyone, you can’t overthink any reaction to the name - a raised eyebrow, a little hesitation, or a rude reaction like your MILs. Announce the birth of Freddie when he‘s here. Pre-birth only discuss with your partner.

@SaltySheepdog

Stop discussing names with mil. Just announce it post birth. It’s not up for debate. She named her child, you’ll name yours. She will get over it and learn to like the name, relatives generally do. It wouldn’t matter if she hated it forever though

Exactly this! If she asks, you haven't decided yet and do not give any other details or names you're considering. She can have her opinions of course but she should keep them to herself and respect your choice to name your child.

@StephanieJ
If your partner and you love the name Freddie I'd just go for it I think it nice

Maybe she's connecting it to Freddie Krueger? But such an old film now by the time he's at school I doubt anyone makes that connection x

I know the sweetest little Freddie so I think it's a great name! MIL can STFU.

My FIL hates the name we're planning on using for our son - to be fair, we have never mentioned that we're planning on using this name, perhaps he just senses it but he has said on multiple occasions that he doesn't like it. I really couldn't care less, it's the only name we both like and we've spoken about using it for years. He had his chance to name his kids, now it's our turn!

That's so rude! Freddie is a really lovely name.

Nope doesn't matter what she thinks at all. If you change it now, she'll think she can have her opinion on lots more things down the road.

Don’t know why MIL’s seem to think they have some sort of authority over what you call your baby. It’s yours not theirs! They had their chance to name a baby and it was years ago! My MIL drops a name into conversation every time we see her saying how much she hates it. It just makes me want to use one of those names!! We told her from about 20 weeks our baby had a name (didn’t tell her what it was). She’s still constantly mentioned names she hates and even brought a name book to start going through her choice of names, when she knew our baby has had a definite name for a long long time 🤦🏼‍♀️ Keep the name quiet and don’t listen to her!

Hahahahaha ! My own mother was horrible when I told her the name I picked. It's a perfectly normal name that has been used for centuries but she hated it. Refused to call my son by his name for months, using some horrible nickname instead. I'm never letting her forget that and I'll rub on it until it bleeds.

If I have another I won't tell her the name, for maybe a few months after the birth, and everytime she asks I'll remind her how awful she was when I specifically asked her not to comment on the name I picked. Yeah, I hold a grudge.

Anyway, dear god, ignore your MIL. Ignore ignore ignore. Or maybe tell her she's right and you've decided to call him Adolf, see how she feels about Freddie then !

You your OH agree on the name.

That's that. She's being ridiculous.

Is it possible the real issue is middle name for your grandad and not from her side?

But she can't say that and so is taking it out on first name?

Rookie mistake to tell people your chosen name before the baby’s even here.

As others have said, your baby, your choice. If she refuses to call her grand baby by the correct name, she will look silly, not you guys. Cute name by the way.