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Baby names

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Original poster

Sibling doesn’t like baby’s name - torn!!

90 replies

notactuallylolling · 24/07/2021 09:22

I know this annoys people when the OP doesn’t give specifics but I don’t want everyone to get distracted commenting on the actual name…

We just had a baby girl and picked a name that is pronounced differently in English and in Spanish. OH is Spanish so we opted for his pronunciation. Conscious that this will bring a challenge of telling everyone how to say it but hopefully people will just accept that. It’s not a strange or unique name, at the same time it’s not too popular but it’s nice and simple and I like it. Im not madly in love with it though and that’s probably why I’m torn. Saying that I don’t have another name that I’d prefer….

So we decided to ‘try out’ the name for a couple of days and ended up telling some people (mostly positive reactions). However yesterday her big brother said he really doesn’t like the name and got upset and said he wants us to change it. This really upset me in turn as I have been nervous about how other people would react to her name. Again there isn’t anything weird about it but I’m tired and emotional which won’t be helping!

So to get to the point…..the reason for my post is this….should I just keep the name and a) hope that DS (7) just gets used to it and b) accept that not everyone will take to it immediately/ know how to say it?

Should I consider changing the name? If I change it I will end up picking something that’s just ‘easy’ for everyone to like and say.

Sorry for the ramble but my heads a bit of a mess at the moment!!! X

OP posts:
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Swimminglesson7 · 24/07/2021 09:25

Did he say why he doesn’t like it? The sound? Or is there some association?

Is there a nickname for it he might like?

pinkyredrose · 24/07/2021 09:26

Don't change your baby's name on the say so of a 7yr old! Maybe he can pick a nickname he likes and call her that?

helpmum2003 · 24/07/2021 09:29

I wouldn't change a name based on 7yo opinion.

M0rT · 24/07/2021 09:33

I campaigned strongly against my younger brothers name when he was born.
My parents ignored me and now it's just who he is.
So if you are happy enough with the name then just ignore your DS and he will get past it.
If you don't like the name and his reaction is bringing that to the fore than look at changing it.
I love Marisol if your looking for a new Spanish name and I think it has a universal pronunciation.

pickingdaisies · 24/07/2021 09:41

I'm more concerned that YOU don't particularly love the name either, OP. So only your DH is actually fond of the name, why not find a name you all love! And if it's a name that you and DH (and maybe DS) both love, then it doesn't matter what outsiders think

Pingued · 24/07/2021 09:41

No he doesn't get to say.

shakeitoffshakeacocktail · 24/07/2021 09:46

Commenting to see if you are going to tell us the name
Even though you said you wouldn't 🙃

Floralnomad · 24/07/2021 09:47

If you don’t love it change it but your 7yo doesn’t get to choose .

NuffSaidSam · 24/07/2021 09:49

Don't change it because her brother doesn't like it! He gets to pick a baby name when he's a father, not now!

But you also clearly don't love it so I would think about changing it for that reason....

CanICelebrate · 24/07/2021 09:51

There is no way I’d change the name of my baby because their brother didn’t like it!
If you don’t really like the name that’s different. One of my dc had a name for a few days and we changed it because it didn’t seem to suit him, despite it being the name we chose when I was pregnant.

Geamhradh · 24/07/2021 09:53

Don't change the name!
If every parent gave in to sibling's ideas there'd be children around called R2D2, One Direction and YellowTeletubby.

DinosaurDiana · 24/07/2021 09:54

Don’t change it. He can give her a nickname.

Justilou1 · 24/07/2021 09:57

It’s not a democracy… there’s no voting. Too bad.

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 24/07/2021 09:57

My DH is German and my older kids have names which are as close as possible to being the same in both languages. One was born in England and the next in Germany. We pronounce their names the English way but we found that as soon as they were at preschool they naturally swapped between the two pronunciations themselves, depending upon which language they were speaking. They've never been remotely phased by their names being pronounced differently in each language.

I'm wondering why you're dictating a pronunciation. Are your children being brought up bilingual? I am quite sure my eldest would have been instinctively uneasy if we'd given dc3 an international name and told her while speaking English to pronounce it the German way, because that's just wrong on an instinctive level. Could that be the 7 year old's issue, although he can't express it clearly? Its a gut reaction and feeling a bit fake and wrong to a bilingual young child, to be told to pronounce one word of a sentence in the other language's pronunciation.

Lotsachocolateplease · 24/07/2021 09:58

In the nicest possible way, you are overthinking this. No 7 yr old gets to use a say over their siblings name, get him to choose a nn for her and Let that be the end of it.
The pronunciation will be just a part of who she is and it shows her duel nationality. When you introduce her to people you say her name and they’ll accept that. It’s when it’s written down and people assume is pronounced the English way that you can politely correct them.
If you snd your dh love the name then stick with it.

diddlediddle · 24/07/2021 09:59

I agree that your hesitancy is about your own feelings, not really your 7yos. If you were sure about it you wouldn't taken their opinion into account.

BillyIsMyBunny · 24/07/2021 10:00

I don’t understand how you can expect anybody to be able to give proper advice without knowing the name. How unusual/ hard to pronounce etc the name is absolutely makes a difference regarding whether your DS is being reasonable or not.

icedcoffees · 24/07/2021 10:01

If you don't love it then don't use it.

It has nothing to do with the seven year old.

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 24/07/2021 10:02

tldr is is it being told to pronounce the name the Spanish way while speaking English that's making your dss feel odd about the name? I think this because that would have been the reaction of my own bilingual children at 7 - their natural instinct was to pronounce names, including their own, according to the language they were speaking.

LizzieMacQueen · 24/07/2021 10:04

However yesterday her big brother said he really doesn’t like the name and got upset and said he wants us to change it

If he cannot vocalise why he doesn't like it that may just be because he doesn't have the vocabulary to say why ---- I'd guess pronunciation as you suggest it's an issue for others.

Is there a shortened version you can use.

Lorw · 24/07/2021 10:13

Not wanting to be a Debbie downer or anything and you should definitely stick to the name if you like it. However if it is hard to pronounce/spell/or she has to correct everyone she meets it will be super annoying, I have a unique name and nobody knows how to say it or spell it so end up calling me all sorts and it is so annoying and I honestly hate it 😑 Sad

rainbowstardrops · 24/07/2021 10:15

I wouldn't change it because a 7 year old doesn't like it but if you don't like it then that's a different story.

Els1e · 24/07/2021 10:33

My neighbours are Spanish and English and they have called their daughter Gemma, which is similar sounding in both languages. I have an Austrian name which is unusual in England. I hate having a lifetime of spelling it. I gave up correcting pronunciation a long time ago.

bananaJamas · 24/07/2021 11:59

Is it Laura? I think English people would struggle to get it but you just have to persevere

Classica · 24/07/2021 12:44

I think your 7 year old's opinion is irrelevant really (lovely though as I'm sure he is!) because parents name their children. But you don't sound enamoured with the name and that's the main thing.

Congratulations on your new baby but give yourself a few days/weeks to find the right name rather than feeling she must have a name from day one.

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