Sibling doesn’t like baby’s name - torn!!

[notactuallylolling]

I know this annoys people when the OP doesn’t give specifics but I don’t want everyone to get distracted commenting on the actual name…

We just had a baby girl and picked a name that is pronounced differently in English and in Spanish. OH is Spanish so we opted for his pronunciation. Conscious that this will bring a challenge of telling everyone how to say it but hopefully people will just accept that. It’s not a strange or unique name, at the same time it’s not too popular but it’s nice and simple and I like it. Im not madly in love with it though and that’s probably why I’m torn. Saying that I don’t have another name that I’d prefer….

So we decided to ‘try out’ the name for a couple of days and ended up telling some people (mostly positive reactions). However yesterday her big brother said he really doesn’t like the name and got upset and said he wants us to change it. This really upset me in turn as I have been nervous about how other people would react to her name. Again there isn’t anything weird about it but I’m tired and emotional which won’t be helping!

So to get to the point…..the reason for my post is this….should I just keep the name and a) hope that DS (7) just gets used to it and b) accept that not everyone will take to it immediately/ know how to say it?

Should I consider changing the name? If I change it I will end up picking something that’s just ‘easy’ for everyone to like and say.

Sorry for the ramble but my heads a bit of a mess at the moment!!! X

Also with your DS, does he have a Spanish name? Could this be the issue if he hasn't and his DS is like daddy.

You (and she eventually) are probably just going to have to accept that it will get mispronounced, and save the Spanish pronunciation for home & family. A friend of mine’s DH is from a Spanish-speaking country. They’ve given all of their DC Spanish names (living in England) but each has an easily-Anglicised abbreviation because it’s just too much hassle otherwise. It’s not right, people ought to make the effort but they don’t, unfortunately.

I can remember rolling my eyes as a teenager over a half-German school friend trying to get us to say her name the correct German way instead of it’s nearest English equivalent. People in the UK tend to be awkward and self-conscious about speaking foreign languages, and saying a foreign name can feel like putting on an accent mid-sentence. My half German friend used to try this about once a year but give up after about a week because we got annoyed about it (to be fair, she was a bit high maintenance and if she’d been nicer about it we might have tried harder but we just thought she was being pretentious).

If it’s important to you that your DD’s name reflects her Spanish heritage, then why not go for a name that’s unambiguously Spanish, with no English equivalent? People still won’t pronounce it ‘right’ but at least she won’t have to go through life saying ‘Actually it’s…’ which will be frustrating for her and can annoy others.

Eva pronounced Ava is the correct pronunciation. It’s a Continental name. The English form of Eva is Eve. I only know Evas pronounced your way- I live in a multicultural area.

Eva is exceptionally popular and it'll be pronounced ee va by everyone who doesn't know her. If I saw Eva written down and I heard Ava, I'd assume that you were an illiterate parent who couldn't get it correct at the register office. Sorry.

I wouldn't change it for your 7 year old though.

OP, do you mean, Eva pronounced Ava or Eva pronounced Ever?

Do you usually let your 7 year old make the important lifelong decisions?

@Hallyup6

Eva is exceptionally popular and it'll be pronounced ee va by everyone who doesn't know her. If I saw Eva written down and I heard Ava, I'd assume that you were an illiterate parent who couldn't get it correct at the register office. Sorry.

I wouldn't change it for your 7 year old though.

If I saw an Eva pronounced as Ee-va, I’d assume an illiterate parent or one just a bit ignorant to take a name from another culture and anglicise it when there’s already an English version.

@daisypond, you cannot have spent much time around small children in the last 15 years. Ee-va is the default pronunciation in the UK whether you approve of it or not.

I wouldn't be at all surprised to come across an Eva who is Ava. But then if I see Eva I think of Eva Peron.

To be honest, I'm pretty sure that if I saw it written down, it would be Ava that came to mind and not Eeva.

Does she have a Spanish surname? Because that will help

[quote Classica]@daisypond, you cannot have spent much time around small children in the last 15 years. Ee-va is the default pronunciation in the UK whether you approve of it or not.[/quote]
It may be the default pronunciation where you are. It’s not where I am in the U.K. I know a few small Evas. All have at least one “foreign” parent.

There are LOADS of EEvas in primary school and early secondary school at the moment. Along with Evie it's extremely popular.

A bit besides the point, but isn’t the OP saying Eva would be pronounced like Ever (with a eh- sound)? - so how would making her Ava help because isn’t Ava the ay sound like in pay and say? Not a short “e”

I would definitely not change a name that you love, it matters not if a sibling doesn't like it. Only parents have the choice in this matter.

People will naturally say Ee-va when first reading it but the Eh-va pronunciation is not so unusual. It’s pronounced that way in many languages and I’ve met several people with the name.

Your 7 year old probably has a lot of mixed up feelings about the arrival of a baby sister and this could well be one way of expressing his unease and trying to regain control. Don’t take his option seriously.

I think it's fine - I like it.
If you wanted something different you could always go for Ana which is pronounced the same in English or Spanish

I think letting him have a say (within reason) will help him bond with his sister, and as you say, you aren’t completely sold on the name.

If you decide you’re going to change it, I’d let him feel like he’s part of the process.

It's a name I don't like and I don't Ava either.

It's a name that is overpopular and most of the other Evas will be Eevas, so will be a PITA.

Eva pronounced Ava isn't particularly unusual - Eva is usually pronounced like Ava on the continent.

Eva pronounced Ever is a bit more unusual, although similar to the Welsh name Efa.

Either pronunciation, you will have to correct it initially. Also bear in mind that she may choose to pronounce it Eeva when speaking English and Ever/Ava in Spanish.

I know a few bilingual people who use a French/Italian etc. pronunciation when speaking french/italian and an English one when speaking English.

Don't worry about the pronunciation, it can be quite useful for bilingual DC to have a marker like that! If someone calls her Ee-va then she knows they will speak English and when someone calls her Ey-va she knows they will speak Spanish.

@Imissmoominmama

I think letting him have a say (within reason) will help him bond with his sister, and as you say, you aren’t completely sold on the name.

If you decide you’re going to change it, I’d let him feel like he’s part of the process.

I wouldn't give him a say in his new sister's first name. But if you are considering adding a middle name, then I might involve him in making suggestions for a middle name.

Eva is a lovely name. Ignore my earlier comment. Ee or Eh is not that complex a change. Another neighbour (as you might guess I spend a lot of time nattering) had a second girl and said to dd1, age 5, she could help choose the name. Dd1 chose Cassidy after her best friend at school. Neighbour and her dh thought well this isn’t a name we thought of but quite like it. All good until dd1 fell out with best friend and wanted 4 month old dd2 changed to Simon after her new best friend. 🤣

@EllaBlaire no I do not. As I said, I just had a baby and I am tired and hormonal. Cheers for the sarcasm though. Thread wouldn’t be complete without it.

@KirstenBlest I appreciate that but I really wasn’t looking for feedback on the name, just on the situation (which honestly I seem to have constructed entirely in my own head!)

Spot on @woodfort

There's always someone who won't like a particular name. It's the same for usual names until they become a trend.

As others have said OP... your child is 7.